You're on a long train journey and Shakin' Stevens sits next to you. Only he's very drunk and insists on treating you to renditions of his biggest hits, juggles some oranges to keep you amused and an

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Probably pretty fucking annoyed, right?

― C-Man (C-Man), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

what are the words to national front disco, c-man?

― griffin doome, Monday, 22 December 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

What am I, a sim? It'll take more than oranges Stevens!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

did anyone see him on televisions moments of hell. how coked up was his performance??

― griffin doome, Monday, 22 December 2003 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

replace Shakin' Stevens with Calum

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

it was very amusing griffin!

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

David, the wind blows
The wind blows ...
Bits of your life away
Your friends all say ...
"Where is our boy ? Oh, we've lost our boy"
But they should know
Where you've gone
Because again and again you've explained that
You're going to ...

Oh, you're going to ...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
England for the English !
England for the English !

David, the winds blow
The winds blow ...
All of my dreams away
And I still say :
"Where is our boy ? Ah, we've lost our boy"
But I should know
Why you've gone
Because again and again you've explained
You've gone to the ...

National, ah ...
To the National ..
There's a country; you don't live there
But one day you would like to
And if you show them what you're made of
Oh, then you might do ...

But David, we wonder
We wonder if the thunder
Is ever really gonna begin
Begin, begin
Your mom says :
"I've lost my boy"
But she should know
Why you've gone
Because again and again you've explained
You've gone to the :

National
To the National
To the National Front Disco
Because you want the day to come sooner
You want the day to come sooner
You want the day to come sooner
When you've settled the score

Oh, the National
Oh, the National
Oh, the National
Oh, the National
Oh, the National

NOW SHUT UP ABOUT IT!!!

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Donne, you're a fucking arsehead with no brain. I don't know why you've come on this forum and decided to pull shit on me, but I'd sooner you just fucked off to whatever Thai kiddy fiddling site it is that you're usually subscribed to.

― C-Man (C-Man), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

what did you expect starting another 'hilarious' thread like this?

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

c-man, wot's it like to have no brain? is it hard? do you ever get angry at those blasted 70s medical researchers with their experiments that went awrY?

steven blueski - that ws very humourous!!!

― griffin doome, Monday, 22 December 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

thanx happen!

― griffin doome, Monday, 22 December 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I am not pissed off since I have my iPOD with me.

― nathalie (nathalie), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

nathalie would inspire him to make bangin' belgium techno!!

― griffin doome, Monday, 22 December 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Donne - that was witty, how long did it take you to think that one up? Did you plan that post for days, yeah?

Wot a knob.

Anyway, this is a serious question. In fact, this very scenario happened to a mate of mine - only with Phil Collins (I changed the names to protect the guilty).

― C-Man (C-Man), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah we were on our way to a hitlers youth rally. i had to leave because all of the bummers!

― c_man, Monday, 22 December 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Umm moderator, someone has used my pretend name...

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

The guy just won't stop, will he? What a funny fellow he is (wonder if he's from a past life as these posts are vaguely familair and remind me of someone who was last heard of crying to service providers about hackers, poor chap...)

― C-Man (C-Man), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

no, like, i was on the train right, and he was eyein' me, figuring me, for a right ole bum but i said no and went and stared at emma bunton's arse to make him realise that i'm 100% straight!

― c_man, Monday, 22 December 2003 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

so anyways i thought it would be funny if emma bunton, alison moyet and louise wener had let one go in unison - me being the right ole chap that i am would not say anything and take the blame myself!

― C_MAN, Monday, 22 December 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmm, shouldn't be too hard to make life difficult again...

― C-Man (C-Man), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Or so I hear...

― C-Man (C-Man), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

bored.

entertain me with something new clown. get some new material!

― griffin doome, Monday, 22 December 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Nope. You going down little man.

― C-Man (C-Man), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, why don't you leave C-Man alone!

― Gary, Monday, 22 December 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:lgY4SI8d76AC:homepages.ihug.com.au/~pajala/rik.gif

have yer had enough Nazi, or do you want some more?

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 22 December 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

He is just hard working philospher. I mean, sharing wisdom and making people see the errors of their ways through repetitive behaviour and humour is the best, don't you think?

― Gary, Monday, 22 December 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

of course, sorry, c_man.

― griffin doome, Monday, 22 December 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

please please forgive me...!

OH GOD, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!

― griffin doome, Monday, 22 December 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

(Meanwhile in an alternative universe....)

Actually, I'd find it jolly entertaining to watch a drunken Shakey attempt "This Ol' House", complete with dance moves, on a moving train!!!! Given the state of the railways in Britain, it would end up like watching a human pinball machine!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Monday, 22 December 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

And then hilarity would ensue when he tried to open the GREEN DOOR! between stops shouting obscenities at its refusal to budge

― pete s, Monday, 22 December 2003 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

You drive me cra-yee-ay-e-zee! all the passengers would taunt him in unison as shakey broke down in fits of naked sobbing

― pete s, Monday, 22 December 2003 23:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno, at least I'd be able to talk about the Fall without being completely irrelevent.

― Sasha (sgh), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 06:03 (twenty-two years ago)

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