So I'm out drinking and we put some videos on the video jukebox and one is "Naughty Girl" by Holly Valance, and my mate tries to tell me he'd rather bone Gwen Stafani - yet Holly has never looked fin

delete please.

Love her people!

But not as nice as Holly... I mean, not even on the same scale.

Why'd you say that?

There is something wrong with Gwen Stafani's hair.

So Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie,
Drove My chevy to the levy, but the levy was dry.
Them good ole boys are drinking whiskey and rye,
singing This'll be the day that I die

Did you write the book of love,
and do you have faith in God above,
Because the Bible tells you so?
And do you believe in Rock and Roll,
can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?
And I know that you're in love with him,
'cause I saw you dancing in the gym,
you both kicked off you shoes
and I dig those rhythm and blues.
I was a lonely teenaged broncin' buck
with a pink carnation and a pick-up truck
but I knew that I was out of luck
the day the music died

I started singing, Okay, okie dokey Obie's here
No more focus, hobo's got a career
And I like your brassiere and there's a party in here
And I'm ready to talk naughty in Veronica's ear
She erotic and it's hot, saw Heineken beer
Put it to the side and invite here to "Cheers"
Pull up a chair, swear no drama
Therefore player your workin with a MONSTER [yelling]
I ain't got time to waste, let's vacate the place
Shut blinds and drapes, grind to your face in a grimy state
Concentrate, you will find that your bound to get
But we found what's fate
We can watch two incredible mates masterbate
Why settle and wait
Let's escalate to the nearest who bang
To your rear is on the mirrors and they smearin booty cheeks
C'mon

For 10 years we were on our own
and moss grows fat on a rolling stone
but that's not how it used to be
The jester danced for the king and queen
in a coat he borrowed from James Dean
and a voice that came from you and me
And as the king was looking down
the jester stole his thorny crown
the court room was adjourned
no verdict was returned
as Lenin(*) read a book on Marx
the quartet practiced in the park
and we sang dirges in the dark
the day the music died

And we were singing, So this is my favorite song
Now sing along when the DJ throws it on
And if I leave here tonight and I fall asleep
And wake up, [sound of water dropping], hopefully she got some teeth

Helter skelter in the summer swelter
Birds flew off with the fallout shelter
8 miles high and falling fast
and it fell on the grass
the players tried for a forward pass
with the Jester on the sidelines in a cast
the half-time air was sweet perfume
the sergeants played a marching tune
and we all got up to dance
but we never got the chance
The players tried to take the field
the marching band refused to yield
do you recall what was revealed
the day the music died?

And we were all in one place
a generation lost in space
with no time left to start again
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack Flash sat on a candle stick
Cause the fire is the devil's only friend
And as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in hell
could break that Satan's spell
And as the flames climbed high into the night
to light the sacrificial rite
I saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

I met a girl who sang the blues
and I asked her for some happy news
she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the sacred store
where I heard the music years before
but the Man there said the music wouldn't play
And in the streets the children screamed,
the lovers cried and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
the Church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most
the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost
they caught the last train for the coast
the day the music died.

And we were singing, Okay holy moly derriere
Look around the club booty everywhere
She caught me starin
And my homies darin me to approach Karen
She's model material, but she got a venereal
Tons of baby fathers', baby bottles and cereal
She holla cause I got a lot of genedio
The DJ's playin Obie song on the steady-o
And she's impaired and she wants to be headin home
With the real thing not the dildo clone
And I know I don't wanna be headin home
With some double D's full of silicon
Ten hoodrat chicks surround me outside
Found me outside, clown me outside
'Til I flip out and they found me outside
Cussin at the bitches screamin "off to they rides!"

I was born in February.

Line 'em up now to greet the sacred cow.

My hands are full of protein, my arms are made of fire.
If you're calling me a diplomat, I'll be calling you a liar.

Line 'em up now to greet the sacred cow.
Line 'em up now to greet the sacred cow.

SACRED COW
SACRED COW

C-man, that's all very nice but you don't actually buy the records am I right?

(Holly Valance, well yeah but from what I've heared you wouldn't want to be too much part of her life etc...)

C-Man's favourite band are Suede.

P.S. Suede aren't pop, they're indie. Duh!

In this season of Xmas cheer let's hear your honest opinion on La Valance... you would, wouldn't you?

Or maybe I just have a serious thing for the black number. I dunno.

http://www.goldweb.com.au/~bessie/anyprev/pages/grja-06.htm

http://www.goldweb.com.au/~bessie/anyprev/pages/grja-02.htm

When we had a telly, I even sat through peak practice once, b/c she was in it.

http://www.fortunecity.co.uk/cinerama/horror/235/holly_valance2007.jpg

1http://www.fortunecity.co.uk/cinerama/horror/235/holly_valance2002.jpg

There's something marvellously bukake about that.

Mean trick when you're leaving a pub where thee clientelle are annoying - go to the jukebox, and put on the entirety of "Pulse" by Pink Floyd, then leave.

Who made that cartoon? It's my life story.

Dude, Holly is God. Try downloading any video of her ever.

sadly, cman and his mates' chat-up technique proved ineffective the other night