If you were kidnapped by a cash starved Peter Andre who locked you in a shed and would fire jelly beans at your head for amusement with his catapult, how long before you'd go insane?

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And he whistles all his "hits" compulsively. He threatens to cut an ear off after two days unless he gets money. And fast.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 15 January 2004 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

This could happen.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 15 January 2004 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now pleaseI'd like to eat poo now please

― .C --Man (nordicskilla), Thursday, 15 January 2004 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

King for a day eh?

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 15 January 2004 05:11 (twenty-two years ago)

pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssse

― -- .C --Man (nordicskilla), Thursday, 15 January 2004 05:14 (twenty-two years ago)

it would take 3 days, 4 with water breaks

― autovac (autovac), Thursday, 15 January 2004 09:04 (twenty-two years ago)

35-40 years

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 15 January 2004 09:06 (twenty-two years ago)

c'mon c-man, you were just starting to make sense as a ilxor. you even posted serious stuff and everything.

― Jay Kid (Jay K), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

three weeks pass...

See? I unwittingly predicted the Peter Andre revivial long before anyone even knew he was gonna be on the telly. I am psychic, I am great. Future predictions:

*Ned doesn't get to shag a sexy young lady ever
*Louise Wener succumbs to my charms
*ILX succumbs to my brilliance.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

And with that I'm gone again. You do not deserve my psychic brilliance or threads this awesome! Fact! I am seeing into the future and must stop all wars and embrace lots of hawt femmes!

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha, what a fucking saddo

― le monde, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

You should think about how many people post here and the fact you've never made even one of them laugh

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.tcs.mu-luebeck.de/HST2001e/Scene1_en.jpg

― j4n (Wintermute), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:19 (twenty-two years ago)

http://jenlars.mu.nu/frank_family.JPG

― j4n (Wintermute), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.harmreduction.org/news/winter03/housingStory.jpg

― j4n (Wintermute), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

*C-Man sucks cum.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.charkbait.com/article/2003Edition/images/BD.htm21.jpg

― j4n (Wintermute), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:23 (twenty-two years ago)

'Black Snakes' is a great record sort of but I dunno how good a bunch of bassled grooves w/hard to follow (if worth it I guess) lyrics is. Maybe I'm wrong to insist on takiing them as a bitchin as all bitches postpunk band just cos of 'Kangaroo' tho, I doubt they'd appreciate it

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

The GROOVES and so on are great, so's Mayo's guitar, but I dunno. His voice sounds good tho!

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/customer-reviews/B000JU8FXK/b3ta-21?tag2=b3ta-21

wow

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Monday, 22 January 2007 16:09 (nineteen years ago)

srsly, it's like an Amazon EXCELSIOR thread all of its own

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Monday, 22 January 2007 18:17 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

BIG GIG PROMOTER HAS A MYSTERIOUS SOMERSET GIRL LINED UP FOR PETER ANDRE ON SATURDAY 26TH SEPTEMBER

Big Gig promoter Kevin Newton plans to help Peter Andre break his self imposed sex ban before his divorce to Katie Price goes through on October 22nd.

Kevin Newton has a mysterious Somerset girl in the wings to entice Peter to break his self imposed sex ban on Saturday 26th September.

Newton says: “We’ve filtered out all the weak from the chaff and I’m sure Peter will be pleased with what we have got lined up for him.”

http://www.ukdistribute.com/links/1253094956725-KevinNewton-LoRes.jpg

― you used to sleep with somebody who avoided a soap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 16 September 2009 10:27 (sixteen years ago)

We’ve filtered out all the weak from the chaff

― a light salad of Adorno, Heidegger, Derrida and Esteban Buttez (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 16 September 2009 10:30 (sixteen years ago)

yeah, "Week from the Chav", right?

(I like the idea that all they have to do is leave a girl onstage to the left, and he's going to break off from singing to go shag her, or something...)

― Mark G, Wednesday, 16 September 2009 11:10 (sixteen years ago)

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