Uhh....no thanks! Album Covers that seemingly STRIVE to be Sexy, yet FAIL MISERABLY!

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http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000003KZ4.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000005RF7.01.LZZZZZZZ.gif http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dre200/e219/e219514f3zd.jpg http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dre000/e031/e031011339a.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

that Manowar cover is fast becoming an ILM touchstone. Dat's some man-meat.

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf200/f247/f247943m0s5.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000025UD.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― rainman (rainman), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000004V4.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― rainman (rainman), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.dustedmagazine.com/features/otistop20/tino1.jpg

― Otis Hart (otiss), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf100/f103/f10369q69vp.jpg

― Chris Hill (Chris Hill), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm surprised this hasnt been done yet.
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000025OR.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Felcher (Felcher), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i dunno, frampton's lookin kinda good up there.

― tweemu (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm trying to find the notorious "glam" photo of Celtic Frost circa the Cold Lake era, but am not succeeding. In any event, it must be seen to be believed.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00008W3WF.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― rainman (rainman), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

haha it's pink!

http://www.usatoday.com/life/gallery/mtv-awards/pink.jpg

― tweemu (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

http://users.pandora.be/mapinguari/artist/lovesexy.jpg

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

THE GUY HAS NO ASS

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:08 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.emimusic.de/emi_at/images/cover/150/0724385680625.jpg

― udu wudu (udu wudu), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Prince is very slim. just out of interest, does anyone have a recent, kind of natura-looking picture of Prince? How old is he now anyway?

― paulhw (paulhw), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:13 (twenty-two years ago)

i think he's 44, same age as Madge and Jacko? i guess that's why he stopped appearing nude on album covers.

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:16 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.scorpions.pl/dysk/virgin2.jpg

Is this meant to be sexy or what?

― udu wudu (udu wudu), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd900/d997/d99785cvddx.jpg

― tod (tod), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Was that ever "Cover Connection"-ed with this?:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00009OOH9.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Ben Boyer (Ben Boyer), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

i wouldn't go as far as 'miserable failure' there

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

once again, i think nancy looks kinda good there. am i broken?

― tweemu (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

could be just me

― tod (tod), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

The Roxy Music cover posted in the Ladytron thread

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

i thought about posting that

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf000/f088/f0881869yd5.jpg

might as well add Peaches, too...

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dre300/e302/e30221voek6.jpg

...but i don't know if that was really a strive

― tod (tod), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

not a strive, nor an album cover, but oh man:

http://www.rockdetector.com/assets/resized/img/books/ozzy-0-200-0-250.jpg

― tod (tod), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:31 (twenty-two years ago)

where's the whitesnake one where the naked lady is riding the larger than life python?

― Kingfishee (Kingfish), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:31 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd100/d128/d1288406o47.jpg

― Leee Majors (Leee), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:32 (twenty-two years ago)

What, this one?

http://home.earthlink.net/~djlender71/images/CD%20Covers/lovehunter.jpg

― udu wudu (udu wudu), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh good Lord, that Scorpions album cover is wrong. Tell me that thing isn't legal.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I think Liz Phair looks pretty great on that one above.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/drd900/d933/d93311eg41h.jpg

We could be here all night if we delve too deep into glam metal.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

http://art.towerrecords.com/coverart.asp?S=1523561&X=178&Y=178

(sorry I couldn't find a clearer image)

― Joseph McCombs, Friday, 16 January 2004 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

If nothing else, this satisfies the "Uhh... no thanks!" part of the equation.

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf100/f110/f11074q3334.jpg

― Joseph McCombs, Friday, 16 January 2004 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

No, no, no! I think the Liz Phair one is anything BUT a miserable failure! It's sexy as HELL, despite it's indisputably creepy, calculated board-room sexiness.
I just was wondering if it had ever been put next to the Nancy Sinatra cover in another cover connections thread!

― Ben Boyer (Ben Boyer), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.woundedbird.com/montrose/2963.jpg

― cremaster, Friday, 16 January 2004 23:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel like a big meanie citing this one, but....

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000266K.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

I mean, I don't enjoy her music, but she seems like a nice enough person. This was just a bad idea, though.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

One for Uduwudu

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drc000/c000/c000762o0ep.jpg

― mzui, Friday, 16 January 2004 23:59 (twenty-two years ago)

an easy target:

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd600/d663/d66393y4tb2.jpg http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf700/f760/f76097ng1v9.jpg

― tod (tod), Friday, 16 January 2004 23:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that an ass, or some kind of shelf? Where does it end?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

that boss hog cover ain't that great but the earlier covers were pretty sexy. if i'm remembering correctly. i always had a thing for the noize girls. i always thought julia looked sexy on pussy galore's sugarshitsharp e.p. too.and lydia rolling around with foetus on the stinkfist record. i had a crush on marnie from live skull too.and the nico lookalike in rat at rat r. no wonder rock scene was one of my favorite magazines in the 70's. the smacked out looking the better when i was a lad(what was wrong with me?). Lungleg will you marry me?

― scott seward (scott seward), Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.angelfire.com/al/kjholling/images/ballet_dancer.gif

― tod (tod), Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.atmos.albany.edu/student/eric/bcrowes_amorica1.jpeg

It's supposed to be a bloke too!

― mzui, Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:04 (twenty-two years ago)

(i was just trying to figure the ass shelf out)

― tod (tod), Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:05 (twenty-two years ago)

that boss hog cover ain't that great but the earlier covers were pretty sexy.

The second album (Cold Hands?) was mighty great looking. Cristina is a gorgeous woman (I accosted her at a Firewater show at the Bowery Ballroom last month.) That cover above, though, is just bad.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I find sexy, in some way:

the Emma Peel one
the Boss Hog one
the Dead or Alive one (or I could if it was better designed)
the Prince one
the Roxy Music one
the Peaches one

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I kinda like the Emma Peel one, too. Cellulite does not necessarily equal sexy, but it's not a deal breaker.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:10 (twenty-two years ago)

You should see their upper half. I think it's the shoes I find so unsexy. The bass player was mighty cute, though.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

what about the Blackie one?

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000006H7K.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― tod (tod), Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.koeln.netsurf.de/~juergen.schuette/pretty/ptst.jpg

― mzui, Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 9 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Saturday, 17 January 2004 04:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I question Jason Mraz's committment to rocking out in the name of Satan

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Saturday, 17 January 2004 04:35 (twenty-two years ago)

"I question Jason Mraz's committment to rocking out in the name of Satan "

At least he's not wearing a trucker cap this time.

― Joseph McCombs, Saturday, 17 January 2004 05:24 (twenty-two years ago)

How' bout EVERY SINGLE BACKSTREET BOYS AND 'NSYNC RECORD EVER.

― Mr. Snrub, Saturday, 17 January 2004 06:07 (twenty-two years ago)

That Scorpions cover is actually kind of shocking. I mean, she's naked, right? And she's, well, underage, right? And not in a modest pose. How could RCA release this?

― Sean (Sean), Saturday, 17 January 2004 06:23 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd500/d598/d598781ii19.jpg

― Andrzej B. (Andrzej B.), Saturday, 17 January 2004 07:53 (twenty-two years ago)

wtf? the adiana howard one is hot.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 17 January 2004 08:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Hottest covers so far posted - Emma Peel, Lords Of Acid, Liz Phair, Adina Howard. Least hot thing ever in world not counting Scorpions = that X-Box advert!!!

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Saturday, 17 January 2004 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dre800/e884/e884584rhvi.jpg

― Nick H (Nick H), Saturday, 17 January 2004 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Least hot thing ever in world not counting Scorpions = that X-Box advert!!!

But the Flaming Lips, they smoulder.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 17 January 2004 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drc900/c982/c98218ycd4i.jpg http://www.xs4all.nl/~werksman/cale/disc/caribbean_sunset.jpg http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf900/f996/f99624pph7b.jpg http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd100/d153/d1536865cnd.jpg

― tod (tod), Saturday, 17 January 2004 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

??? 2nd from right = k-r0wr!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 17 January 2004 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drg000/g036/g03627rb6df.jpg

― tod (tod), Saturday, 17 January 2004 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dre300/e302/e30221voek6.jpg

...but i don't know if that was really a strive

-- tod (teul...), January 16th, 2004."

As much as I hate her music, that cover is pretty sexy.

This might but jumping to conclusions (I mean, you could be gay) but are you, by any chance, old?

― Stupid (Stupid), Saturday, 17 January 2004 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

but i'm neither! i must be some kinda freak then, if i'm the only one who finds that utterly un-sexy. i initially thought that was the whole point of the cover. now i just feel clueless.

― tod (tod), Saturday, 17 January 2004 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000025HK.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000000QSL.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002KC7.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000235G.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― may pang (maypang), Saturday, 17 January 2004 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

if i'm the only one who finds that utterly un-sexy

you are not the only one.

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Saturday, 17 January 2004 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

*wipes sweat off forehead*

― tod (tod), Saturday, 17 January 2004 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.tapemountain.com/raggett.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 17 January 2004 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drc700/c732/c732717piaf.jpg

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Saturday, 17 January 2004 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005QGAX.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― 4kflka, Saturday, 17 January 2004 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, what makes the special edition so special, eh?

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Sunday, 18 January 2004 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha, that Kool Keith one is the lamest ever

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 18 January 2004 02:45 (twenty-two years ago)

the liz phair and the roxy music ::"country life" are both hot [methinks].

― william (william), Sunday, 18 January 2004 06:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Hottest covers so far posted - ... Lords Of Acid

B-b-but the Lords of Acid is a man, baby!

― Leee Majors (Leee), Sunday, 18 January 2004 06:58 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000296JD.01.LZZZZZZZ.gif

Too stupid and cliched and forced to be sexy.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 18 January 2004 07:12 (twenty-two years ago)

a question I have long pondered: is the person on the right of the Roxy cover a male to female transsexual?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 18 January 2004 09:46 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.media01.com/artists/perkov/artist.jpg

― Jay Kid (Jay K), Sunday, 18 January 2004 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00006CXXU.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Jay Kid (Jay K), Sunday, 18 January 2004 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh spot-on, Jay!!!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 18 January 2004 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks - that woman is just so incredibly un-sexy - as a matter of fact, she is the anti-sex. she is trying soooooo hard all the time, and it doesn't help. it only makes it worse. if anything, i kind of pity her - she is kind of a freak, isn't she?

― Jay Kid (Jay K), Sunday, 18 January 2004 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I think she's kind of hott, actually...

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Sunday, 18 January 2004 20:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Kcin sorta OTM!

― Leee Majors (Leee), Sunday, 18 January 2004 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

It astounds me how we got this far without citing....

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00002R0SE.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 18 May 2005 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

MY EYES!

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 18 May 2005 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

you know, I remember when this thread was first started and how saddened I was at your first choice, which is odd as it's a pretty obscure record, and not something where I think they were trying to be so "sexy", but mostly because one of those girls is a good friend of mine, and despite the photo, is in fact, quite sexy, and as sweet as can be.

now kevin rowland, he shoulda stuck with the look circa "dance stance".

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Wednesday, 18 May 2005 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I love the Emma Peel record (especially "Bible Belch"), and they were great live....but that cover is just awful. The bass player was quite sexy, as I remember (your friend?)

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 18 May 2005 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

just vocals, I think.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Wednesday, 18 May 2005 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

The story on that effed-up Scorpions cover:
http://www.scorpions.webz.cz/articles/foundations.html

http://www.scorpions.webz.cz/articles/foundations.html

― schwantz, Wednesday, 18 May 2005 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Not an album, but still:
http://www.antville.org/img/videos/windowlicker.jpg

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Wednesday, 18 May 2005 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.imusic.dk/gfx/item/image/020/0008811233020.jpg

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Thursday, 19 May 2005 00:11 (twenty-one years ago)

my neck, my back -- INDEED:

http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/drf200/f245/f24513m2htv.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 19 May 2005 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

and how did we get this far w/ no mention of THIS fine, upstanding fellow?!?

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd200/d227/d22765b3pc4.jpg

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd200/d250/d25047nog82.jpg

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf600/f662/f66217ig97o.jpg (note his version of a "come hither" look!)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd700/d725/d72503y6456.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 19 May 2005 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm pretty sure the Windowlicker artwork and video were not striving for sex appeal. The song perhaps, but certainly not anything Chris Cunningham had to do with it.

Oh yeah, most disturbing thread ever.

― billstevejim (billstevejim), Thursday, 19 May 2005 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

all these women are sexy but not this time
http://eil.com/shop/moreinfo.asp?catalogid=114134
http://eil.com/shop/moreinfo.asp?catalogid=123181
http://eil.com/shop/moreinfo.asp?catalogid=253559
http://eil.com/shop/moreinfo.asp?catalogid=24601
http://eil.com/shop/moreinfo.asp?catalogid=150424
p.s. i admit i have all these records- i love the music

― sonna dummer, Thursday, 19 May 2005 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post I actually interviewed Storm Thorgerson a week ago, and he defended both "Lovedrive" and the Montrose cover. He did, however, have some regrets about "Virgin Killer."

― Josh in Chicago (Josh in Chicago), Thursday, 19 May 2005 04:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Storm Thorgerson did the "Virgin Killer" album?!! Yeesh.

― Joe (Joe), Thursday, 19 May 2005 08:13 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost to dan selzer re: emma peel -- totally on the money there!!! i just saw the thread and was abou tot say the same thing 'zackly.

― Michael J McGonigal (mike mcgonigal), Thursday, 19 May 2005 09:12 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

[img]http://www.scorpions.pl/dysk/virgin2.jpg[/img]

― syndicate league (syndicate.01), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:28 (nineteen years ago)

If your a pedophile, [that likes pre-teen pubescent flat chested kindergartner girls] yes, I would image that it would be.....{Sexy}

― syndicate league (syndicate.01), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:41 (nineteen years ago)

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