I Am The Anti-Christ, Get Me Out Of Here!

Would you derive some sort of perverse pleasure out of seeing poor Mick Hucknell being ritually humiliated by Ant & Dec; would you relish the delicious irony of seeing Phil Collins being forced to eat his own excrement on Survivor; or would you take a malicious delight in watching Jas Coleman pssyching out some poor unsuspecting bunch of talentless has-been, wannabes, and no-hopers on Celebrity Big Brother?

I know I would!

The g/f and myself were just discussing how fun it would be to have Lydon on the surreal life, ripping Vanilla Ice a new asshole.

Johnny Rotten is going to be on "I'm a celebrity get me out of here..."

Just the idea that he might actually win... i.e. be the next folk hero... oh man... turn around from 1977...

Sorry, it tops anything anyone could come up with...

Do you really think things have turned around so much since 1977 that there's a real chance of John winning?

Or do you think he'll he just automatically get voted out at the end of week one?

My bet is that he'll last a 2 weeks - maybe 3 at the outside - so that the programme makers and the great British public (assuming that all their votes do actually have some effect on the outcome rather than just creating an illusion of participation whilst lining the pockets of the programme makers of course) can pretend that that he was in with a chance while simultaneously using him to announce to some irritating micro-celeb that they they're even more hated than Johnny Rotten.

Deary me, I can be simply the most frightful old cynicy-trousers at times, I really can.

My guess is that he will start moaning about things and drive everybody up the wall.

But if not... He could be kept on because people enjoy his quick wit and / or vote off someone more boring instead.

The papers are going nuts cuz Jordan is on. Odds on first voted off I reckon.

I agree; but will he irritate the public and the progamme-makers so much that they kick him off or will they keep him in there because of the discomfort he causes to all the other contestants?

Strangely, Jordan was precisely who I had in mind when I was typing the words "irritating micro-celeb... even more hated than Johnny Rotten"!

Blinking heck, MIKE READ plus Peter Andre, an ex-Atomic Kitten and a upper class fraudster.

And how's about the set piece God Save The Queen argument between Jennie Bond and Mr Lydon?

Lydon will be the real victor, as long as he doesn't try to sour it all and leave in a blaze of non-plussed publicity. He's surely being set up as the 'interesting' one, the other 'celebs' seem to be purposely picked for him to be snide/surprisingly charming to.

(canada only has five celebrities, and like the U.S. Prez and Vice-Prez, aren't allowed to be in the same place all together for too long for fear that they could all be wiped out at once)

I think our Johnny will 'spark' more against Mike Read than any other...

Lydon, John Aka Johnny Rotten, lead singer of Punk Bank The Sex Pistols £11,000-£15,000

http://www.celebrity.co.uk/bsb/biography.php?connID=3158

Or if that doesn't work, go to main site and "search"

you can book 911 too. their description is 'groovy boyband'

ahem

I'm not even sure what I mean by that.

Neil Rudduck, did he used to play for Arsenal? (Important question)

My bet to win is Peter Andre, for what it's worth. What de odds attamo?

Johnny Rotten 3/1
Neil Ruddock 10/3
Alex Best 9/2
Frank Carson 9/2
Kerry McFadden 10/1
Jordan 12/1
Lord Brockett 16/1
Jenny Bond 20/1
Peter Andre 20/1
Diane Modahl 40/1
James Hewitt 36/5
Gazza 9/1

To become the one who gets most out of it: Rotten. The only other one I could see winning would be Jordan, but she's likely to get the public's goat.

Oh, and Peter Andre = UK/Australian pop star, who found fame mostly due to his (possibly surgically enhanced) six-pack and greasy, floppy hair.

(Then again, I caught a bit of that build a house for charity carcrash of a programme on ITV1 last Thursday. Various blokes were standing on Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. What the **** was THAT all about?)

THIS IS EVIL

They're staring all night
And they're staring all day
I had no reason to be here at all
But now I got a reason
It's no real reason
And I'm waiting...."

One of these, he's sung in public before...

(The last SP gig, Johnny sang it)

I do hope they're going to stick to their principles if it does go back in the charts.

Back in history, 1976, I had about 30p for busfare when I went into woolworths. There in the 30p box was about fifty copies of "anarchy" on emi, with the woollies stamp on the label to show it was a 'cheapie'.

So, did I buy one and walk home, or did I get the bus?

Yeah I caught the bus home. Went back the next day but all were gone.

The idea of walking home all that way and being met by my mum, with a sex pistols single in my hand ... (I was quite young you unnerstan).

God, that is such a great picture.

Jonny: (fervently) Oh Yes Please let it be me come on (etc.)

Ant: It's Not You.

Jonny: Oh Ffffucking Cunts!

Ant: Sorry everyone, please forgive us.....

Our homes? Why do they always manage to trip themselves up by trying to sound so unecessarily formal/lobotomised?

Aparently Ant & Dec will be presenting again and rumoured contestants include the ex-soccer commentator Ron Atkinson, the ex-England soccer player Paul Gascoigne, and classical singer Charlotte Church.

Never mind about them 'though - it seems to me that in past series the programme makers have regularly tried to find new equivalents to replicate individuals / combinations of individuals that have been successful (for them as programme makers rather than necessarily as winners of the competition) in previous series.

So.... who do you think they could possibly get to be this series' equivalent to the inimitable Mr. Lydon; and (probably even more importantly) what witty thread titles could we come up with if those people get chosen?

First (OK, only) thoughts that occur to me are:

1) Lemmy: certainly wild and unpredictable enough ('though "anarchic" in a very different way to John, I think). Has done TV commercials before, so I can't really see why he might object. Thread title: "Motorhead, You Can Call Me A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here"?

2) Captain Sensible: the only other old UK punker I can think of with a sufficiently high profile, enough personality (although again, a totally different proposition to John) and not too far up his own arse (again, has prostituted himself on TV before, appearing on Night Fever and an advert for Kellogs Cornflakes IIRC). Thread title: "I Said 'Captain!" He Said 'Get Me Out Of Here!'"

Malcolm McLaren?

So he really is still in love with John Lydon then?

Right Said Fred
Janice Dickinson
Koo Stark
Katie "Utter cunt from The Apprentice" Hopkins
Gemma Atkinson
Christopher Biggins
Marc "Gianni DiMarco" Bannerman
Anna Ryder Richardson (remember her?)
J from 5ive
Malcolm McClaren
Cerys Matthews
Rodney Marsh
Some chef dude
Lynne Franks

Marc "Gianni DiMarco" Bannerman - is this an Eastenders bloke?
Lynne Franks - who?
Janice Dickinson - who?

Lynne Franks was on the Clothes Show, wasn't she?

This thread needs swapping to ILE, really, doesn't it?

Sex Pistols man to enter the 'I'm A Celebrity...' jungle

A chart-topping indie singer will join the star on the new series too

Malcolm McLaren, the music mogul who steered the Sex Pistols' career, will enter the Australian jungle for the new series of ITV's 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!', which starts on Monday evening (November 12).

McLaren follows in the footsteps of Sex Pistols frontman John Lydon, who took part in the series in 2004 and was a big hit with viewers.

McLaren will be joined on the show by former Catatonia singer Cerys Matthews, as well as the likes of Richard and Fred Fairbrass of Right Said Fred and former 5ive singer Jason Brown.

Non-musical participants also set to appear on the show include actress and lads' mag model Gemma Atkinson, The Apprentice contestant Katie Hopkins and former QPR striker turned football pundit Rodney Marsh.

Janice Dickinson was a model in the 80s or 70s or something. She's fucking horrible.

Lynne Franks = PR person sort of like Edina in AbFab. I think Dom's thinking of Karyn Franklin.

oh.

Well, that's the end of that, then.

Punks = bunch of pussies

Well, he looked really stupid.

And the rest of the show was dullsvill.

No point moving it to ILE now.