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"FOR GOD'S SAKE, JUST FUCKING STOP!" Songs that Make You Want to do HORRIBLE, HORRIFIC things with a NAIL GUN to the Artist Responsible.

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For some reason, Jay-Z's fuckin' "Change Clothes" inspires such a drooling need for senseless physical violence and bloodlust that it's most disquieting. How can people hear this song and not wish him absolute nullification?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Somehow I knew this wasn't a Momus thread.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Good grief!! bad day at work ANYC??

(my answer = "Star" by prml scrm)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Pretty much anything by Steps made me feel very uncomfortable in a purely physical sense.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Nah, but I just heard it come bleating out of a slow-moving car down 9th steet, and it bugs the beJesus out of me.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Steps, I do like a bit I must admit.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Fucking hell, they've got you too.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Alex, some day, I hope that you put out an album of your own. And then I hope that someone actually threatens your life or your safety because they dislike your aesthetics. I really hope that this happens, so you can understand how deeply disturbing and unacceptible this is. (Unless of course it's Momus, but then again, he deserves to be assaulted with a nail gun for other reasons...)

― the river fleet, Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, Alex. Stop issuing REALISTIC threats with OBVIOUS intent to act on them!

"House of Jealous Lovers" by a nose.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Je regret rien!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Acknowledging Alex' "threat" as the hyperbole it's intended to convey:

Much Styx falls into this category, for musical reasons. Britney Spears, for commercial/cultural ones (fast food should not outstay its shelf life). Jingoistic hyper-patriot USA country music, for ideological reasons (Toby: t'ain't no terrorists gonna bomb Nashville, leave the outrage to us city folks). And, yes, a bunch of hip-hop, including Jay Z, because it's banal, repetitive, derivative music which degrades women.

In truth, any negative repercussions for above-mentioned crap should also fall on the labels/executives/producers responsible for funding and distributing it, not just the artists, who can't help being themselves and perhaps shouldn't be blamed for the actions of clueless folks elevating them beyond their deserved mediocrity/anonymity.

― Nom De Plume (Nom De Plume), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

For the record, I don't even own a nail gun.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:46 (twenty-two years ago)

...but I know where I can get one.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:46 (twenty-two years ago)

At short notice?

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Builders Square Rocks! Open 24 hours at selected locations!

― Nom De Plume (Nom De Plume), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Good tip!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

fucking MILKSHAKE arrrghh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CUNTS!

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

And TITS!

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Is this necessary?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

All this hate, is that necessary? I mean this thread, is it necessary?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Hardly.

BTW Alex, I like your diagram. Where can I get a shirt with one black sleeve? Is that what all the kids are into?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:53 (twenty-two years ago)

The diagram was prized via the wonder that is Google.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I see now. This is the rest of the plan for that unconventional nail gun. It ain't the anarchist's cookbook, but it's devious.

http://www.holisticforgeworks.com/img/NGPLANS.GIF

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i plan on using one of these things on anyone who votes for Dubya this november.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Make sure you paint it black, as per the instructions. Powder blue won't cut it.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:06 (twenty-two years ago)

anthony, no panties in jeans, is that necessary?

― reo, Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Now why you frontin' on me, is that necessary?

― sym (shmuel), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

responding to c-man threads, is that necessary?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

flaming lips "do you realize" !!!!! ashej!!!! im hitting myself and breakingingmgg mhy lamp just thinking about nijtnh!!!@!@

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

but a swell maps POX was so necessary.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

take a chill pill, Alex in NYC.

― RJG (RJG), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I think of songs that do this to me, and then I realize I'm not alone -- more importantly, I'm not alone outside people I necessarily like. So, I embrace these songs as weapons. Musical arsenals are my new hobby.

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 25 January 2004 00:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Next project: "CDR700MB Fuck You Die!"

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 25 January 2004 00:09 (twenty-two years ago)

y'all needs some Prozac

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Sunday, 25 January 2004 00:12 (twenty-two years ago)

(or less Wellbutrin)

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Sunday, 25 January 2004 00:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pissed and goign to bed.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Sunday, 25 January 2004 00:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Any song by No Doubt! Mainly I'd like to hurt Gwen Stephani.

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 January 2004 04:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Nickleback - How You Remind Me
Trapt - Headstrong
Limp Biscuit - Faith
Linkin Park - In The End
Sum 41 - Fat Lip
Iggy Pop & Sum 41 - Little Know It All
Alicia Keys - Fallin'
Eminem - Lose Yourself
Outkast (Big Boi) - I Like The Way You Move
Ryan Adams - So Alive
Barry White - Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Babr
The Beatles - Pretty Much Anything That Ringo Sings On (I Only Wanna Hurt Him)
Hmmmmmm..........I'll Think Of More Later

― Dude (The Yellow Dart), Sunday, 25 January 2004 04:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Also anything by:

Dave Matthews
John Mayer
Jack Johnson
Jennifer Lopez
Beyonce
50 Cent
Justin Timberlake
Eminem
Limp Biscuit
Cyprus Hill

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 January 2004 04:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe they're on Prozac, is has known issues where it triggers the anger centers in some people's brains. But really, it's hyperbole. No one's hurting anybody. But if I had an opportunity to push Huey Lewis and Gweneth Paltrow into a compactor and push the big red button, I can't say that I wouldn't take it for that damn "Crusin'" song that seems to be on Muzak where ever I go.

― Mike Salmo (salmo), Sunday, 25 January 2004 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

SO ALIVE!!!!!! RARRGGHH, FUCK YOU RYAN ADAMS

there. may I have that nail gun for a moment?

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 25 January 2004 04:42 (twenty-two years ago)

"Brick"
"Superman"
"When I'm Gone"

And

"Polly"

Yes
I said it

"POLLY"

I HATE THAT SONG!!!!

I do however find no reason to hurt Dave Grohl seeing as to how there is no drumming in that song, and he didn't write any part of it.

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 January 2004 04:48 (twenty-two years ago)

OH no!!

That Zwan song is on!

Look out!!!!

Things are now on fire!!!!!!!

Turn that crap off!!!!

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 January 2004 04:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"Superman"??

Surely you don't mean the R.E.M. song!

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Sunday, 25 January 2004 07:28 (twenty-two years ago)

No!

The Tears For Fears one!

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 January 2004 07:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait.

Maybe it's Five for Fighting? I'm not sure.

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 January 2004 07:34 (twenty-two years ago)

And, yes, a bunch of hip-hop, including Jay Z, because it's banal, repetitive, derivative music which degrades women.

wtf?!

― djdee2005, Sunday, 25 January 2004 07:37 (twenty-two years ago)

That one about not being a red sheep.

― Prude (Prude), Sunday, 25 January 2004 08:19 (twenty-two years ago)

i like how no-one got Anthony's joke upthread - perhaps it wasn't necessary

i can't think of anything right now - on this cool sunny Sunday afternoon i seem to love and be grateful for everything

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 25 January 2004 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.mattscdsingles.com/acatalog/7923%20ns.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 25 January 2004 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 64 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.
haha

― morris pavilion (samjeff), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot this is ILM. Pointing out Ironic isn't ironic is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 1997.

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry for raining on yr wedding day!

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

omgomgomgomgomg!

Hrm, let's see, this is ILM, so I need to do a few other things before I fit in.

*runs off to the store and buys 500 awful albums and 20 good ones*

*comes up with ubercool nickname

*thinks everything he says is incredibly fucking funny*

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

No fucking way. that version of Mad World rules. Especially where it's placed in the movie. Gary Jule=\m/
-- uh (enochsnowj...), May 5th, 2004.

Well the movie sucked too, but the song more so.

― David Allen (David Allen), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG BEYONCE, BIRNTYE, N KIRSTINA ALL RULZ!

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

the movie ruled.

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Uh you just said that on the ILE Michael Moore thread!

Are you toggling back and forth, slapping down ILXers like moles?

(x-post - the "fucking funny" bit)

― morris pavilion (samjeff), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i dunno dude, sounds like you're three for three

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

well I tried playing whackamole with them but I couldn't find their heads.

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

actually, uh came about in my reluctance to find a nickname, and then I realized hey, I might as well stick with the one I've used already so people know who is who here.

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Bjork - everything

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

R Kelly - World's Greatest
I hate everything about you - Puddle of Mudd?
Streets - everything

― paulhw (paulhw), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

If you like, we could give you a nickname, like goatse.cx or something.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i like it, if not simply for the spewing bullshit connection

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

whatever that goddamned current fake gotho evenessence single is where she whines with that pitiful monotone for what seems like 15 minutes, which I seem to hear on other people's radios at work 20 times a day.

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Maroon 5: This Love. Another bubblegum piece of fluff where it's an obvious plus being treated like shit. Jeff Buckley and Moz' soulful whines did it better.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

R.I.P. Jeff

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Stellastar "My Coco"

Especially if the nailgun could shoot copies of Smashing Pumpkins CDs at them too

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate everything about you - Puddle of Mudd?
Do you mean the old Ugly Kid Joe song?
If so, I'll second that and dance myself right into the womb.
If not, I'd like to be the first person to mention Ugly Kid Joe's (I hate) everything about you and wonder if it's strange to dance so soon.

― Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow, all these posts and not one "Freebird." Put my vote in, then.

― mike a, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Morrissey is soulful?

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha Sundar, I was thinking that!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:29 (twenty-two years ago)

eminem-my band

― CAss (CAss), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

J-Lo: that stupid dj play my song, song. Or Jenny from the block. Or anything she bothered with, ever.

Bad Religion--I Love My Computer. I like BR, but hate this song

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Man survives six nails driven into head

― Butter Leather, Thursday, 6 May 2004 01:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Serious.

"He says that he's very happy to be alive," said Dr. Rafael Quinonez, a neurosurgeon who removed the nails at Providence Holy Cross Medical Center. "And he promised to never bring his copy of the Hooters' Nervous Night into work again."

Hee.

― Evanston Wade (EWW), Thursday, 6 May 2004 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Builder survives nailgun accident

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40117000/jpg/_40117643_nailxray203.jpg

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 6 May 2004 22:54 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...
It's an easy target, but Pink Floyd - Sorrow. Not helped by the fact that it's PLEASE STOP NOW, PLEASE factor is spread out over nearly nine minutes.

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Saturday, 12 August 2006 23:29 (nineteen years ago)

And then they went and put it on their best of. Why, why, why?

― LC (Damian), Sunday, 13 August 2006 10:46 (nineteen years ago)

We Built This City on Rock and Roll
We Didn't Start The Fire
Anything Steve Perry has ever sung anywhere

― vacasmagras (vacasmagras), Sunday, 13 August 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

If only for what they're capable of, Mogwai - I Chose Horses was for me a moment of unparalleled "WTF are you DOING??? WTF?????".

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Sunday, 13 August 2006 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

Any country song ever. I CAN'T FUCKING STAND country music!! And here in America that's all they ever play on the radio!!

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Tuesday, 15 August 2006 23:46 (nineteen years ago)

what part of america do you live in, exactly?

― GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 00:05 (nineteen years ago)

ohio

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 00:13 (nineteen years ago)

there must be a S/D thread on country music somewhere.

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 00:14 (nineteen years ago)

today i heard something by Of Montreal. it was about a fireman or summat. actually unlistenable.

― pscott (elwisty), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 00:42 (nineteen years ago)

are you sure it wasn't just an outback ad?

― maura (maura), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 00:50 (nineteen years ago)

the first track on that newest Flaming Lips lp. excrutiating.

― nerve pylon (flat_of_angles), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 00:53 (nineteen years ago)

If you can make it past the first ten seconds it's got a pretty nifty chorus, to be fair.

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 00:55 (nineteen years ago)

Any country song ever. I CAN'T FUCKING STAND country music!! And here in America that's all they ever play on the radio!!

Somehow, on a board called I Love Music, it seems shortsighted to dismiss an entire genre of music. You don't think that there's any country music out there that might appeal to you?

Oh, the topic? It's become less inescapable, but that "Big Yellow Taxi" cover drove me nuts. Also, the one time I heard Dead Eye Dick's "New Age Girl" I wanted to beat my head against the wall.

― clotpoll (Clotpoll), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 01:16 (nineteen years ago)

"Headstrong" by Trapt, because it's sooooooooooooooo horribly written ("OK, dudesky, what if I like, played my guitar to the notes you sing?!? Ch'yah...)

And "Do Wah Diddy, Diddy" I can't STAND!!!! Oh my GOD! And I'm shocked that no one's said Merzbow yet.

― less-than three's Christiane F. (drowned in milk), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 01:40 (nineteen years ago)

I'll trade you two Roll To Me's by Del Amitri for that Do Wah Diddy.

― jim wentworth (wench), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 02:07 (nineteen years ago)

My Humps - Black Eyed Peas.

Stupid. Stupid. Stooooopid.

― Sean Robison (yaratnam), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 05:49 (nineteen years ago)

Kelly Clarkson - although I don't actually wish her pain, I mean she comes across as a very nice girl, but her voice goes through my skull like she's attacking me with a rusty hacksaw. I just want her to stop. Please. Please. Oh and the lyrics piss me off too: "Beacuse of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk." Get one backbone woman.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 11:49 (nineteen years ago)

DMB's catalog 2nd'd.
a lot of radiohead does this to me, as well as the Beatles.

"All this hate, is that necessary? I mean this thread, is it necessary?"

d00d, if you can't hate, how can you love?!

― edde (edde), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

I understand criticism of the Beatles, but you're a moron if you dismiss their whole catalog. Seriously: a fucking moron.

Also, perhaps you are listening to the wrong country station, Mr. Snrub? Where in Ohio are you from? The ones around Cleveland blow, but there are some good stations further south in this sometimes-beautiful, mostly-godforsaken state.

― trees (treesessplode), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

God, where to begin... Wolf Eyes, Art Brut, Xiu Xiu. Basically any indie rock that tries to use it's own obvious shortcomings as artistic selling points. Equating laziness with talent or vision should be a federal crime.

― darin (darin), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 17:18 (nineteen years ago)

"but you're a moron if you dismiss their whole catalog. Seriously: a fucking moron"

haha!!!
i've heard that before, and it's really funny you say that.
because basically, anyone who reacts that way is a "fucking moron" for not recognizing that people can have differing opinions about something. isn't it amazing that someone MIGHT not enjoy them????

regardless, i DO happen to like a SELECT FEW songs. but, that sentiment is really idiotic and simple-minded. there are plenty of other bands that i don't like they're entire catalog, care to list a fefw of yr faves there, tree?

― edde (edde), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 17:29 (nineteen years ago)

Somehow, on a board called I Love Music, it seems shortsighted to dismiss an entire genre of music. You don't think that there's any country music out there that might appeal to you?

Oh, I like the old country! Y'know, Johnny Cash. Glen Campbell stuff. "Your Cheatin' Heart". "The Southern Oklahoma Cosmic Trigger Contest." But you never hear THAT on the radio, do you? DO YOU!?!?!

Also, perhaps you are listening to the wrong country station, Mr. Snrub? Where in Ohio are you from? The ones around Cleveland blow, but there are some good stations further south in this sometimes-beautiful, mostly-godforsaken state.

See, that's the problem. I live in Canton, and we get all the crappy Cleveland-area stations. And that's all my lameass brother and his girlfriend listen to and it drives me nuts!! "Austin" by Blake Shelton!! "If Nobody Believed in You" by Joe Nichols!! "She's Gonna Make It" by Garth Brooks!!

And yes, I realize that it's totally hypocritical of me to dismiss country music when my favorite song of the year is none other than that lovable hand-clappin' country romp, "Take Me Back To Your House" by Basement Jaxx, so please don't bother pointing that out.

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 17:59 (nineteen years ago)


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