what's up with that Brent D Beastie Boys review/farewell review?

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http://pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/b/beastie-boys/to-the-5-boroughs.shtml

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

wizard's crap

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you saying it raised more questions than it answered?

― Mark (MarkR), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

The combination of hazy nostalgia and slightly bitter "screw music writing" tone was interesting.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I was slightly offended that there's a link to the 'condensed' version. Like my Maxim-reading pea-brained attention span can't accept 2000 words.

― mcd (mcd), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I like when he implied the Beastie Boys weren't just indie rockers.

― David Allen (David Allen), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

And you know what writers on Pitchfork need to start doing, talking about Pitchfork. That'd be weird and experimental and stuff.

― David Allen (David Allen), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I find the stuff about Mean magazine odd. Why is that there? The Mean editor he's referring to is my brother, but as far as I know Jay's never paid any attention to Pitchfork whatsoever, or worked with any of their writers.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

well, you know what a bastard your brother is. ;-)

― jack cole (jackcole), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

mean hasn't been around for years i thought?

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I just don't understand why he would bother to include such a minor detail that's actually accurate (Mean *was* run by ex-Grand Royal guys). Whatever, doesn't matter. Couldn't finish the review, meandering and pointless as usual.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Mean was only around for maybe a dozen issues...? And it's not like it made a big splash on the mag market or anything. It's inclusion is a head-scratcher.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

he talks about mean like it is still around. it was a great magazine...!

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

The album has become intrinsically linked to these experiences-- from my movie premiere this week...

Okay this can't be serious now. Maybe that Mean magazine thing is just a joke.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

The only conclusion I can draw is that Brent must've picked up Mean way back when because he knew about the Grand Royal connection (which in itself is a weird thing for a random reader to have picked up on).

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Walking down the block, you say, 'Brent D! When you gonna concept review the new CD that spreads love in society?'

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Does the condensed review have the part where he drops the mic, screams "BRENT D!" and thrusts hims arms out to the side?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I was slightly offended that there's a link to the 'condensed' version. Like my Maxim-reading pea-brained attention span can't accept 2000 words.
-- mcd (srmcd...), June 15th, 2004.

I think i did myself a favor by reading the condensed version.

I really didnt get the impression why the album got a 7.9.. but I guess a 7.9 from brent is bad news, as he seems to operate on a 7.5-10 point scale when it comes to certain groups..

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

he was giving it a good review.

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

the only thing missing from that review was:

http://www.duffzone.co.uk/framegrabs/2f31/02192004192933.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Gear OTM

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the answer you are all looking for is...

WHO GIVES A FUCK.

― ddb (ddb), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I love it when Grandpa steps out on the porch with his shotgun and yells at the kids or sprays them with the hose.

― jack cole (jackcole), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Right. Brent D. Milan. Steve. Radiohead. What the fuck.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"Don't Cry For Me, Indie FuxXors"

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'm already dead..."

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.duffzone.co.uk/framegrabs/2f31/02192004192933.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Brent D should have included some more of his hilarious characters for his reviews like the monkey oh man it had a funny name, he's so funny but I also sense an intelligence behind the persona, it makes me want to just suck him off!! *_^

― David Allen (David Allen), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

i only read the juicy bits but overall it's a nice idea. brent see's his connection with p'fork's reality loosening, rates the album lower to gel with the party-line, and ducks out.

brent's need to move on coincides with his divergence from what the kids deem hip these days. (same with the beastie's record. ?)

i dunno. cheers to brent. i may not have always liked his reviews or agreed with his opinions, but hey, "tomorrow! tomorrow! i love ya, tomorrow! you're always a day away!"

― msp, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

This is like Phish breaking up. A big lie.

― mcd (mcd), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

red letter day for pitchfork: Rob Mitchum refers to Lenny Kravitz as "everyone's favorite half-Jew" in We Are The World.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.macalester.edu/~coien/simpsons/s12/clown3b.gif

― ddb (ddb), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Part of the review style is that I shouldn't care which parts he's fictionalizing and which are true, but in order to figure out what the hell is going on, I must. I think this is one of the problems with these concept reviews: it's really hard to figure out when a value judgement is being made on the actual music. Yes, it's hard to divorce some music from its environment, but when the writer creates an alternate universe where he writes for a defunct magazine with a tangential relation to the band in question, I wonder what the relevance is.

Maybe this is THE BEASTIE BOYS 2004: A MONTAGE IN SIX PARTS.

― mike h. (mike h.), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I just figured the whole thing was memoir.

― mcd (mcd), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Brent D does have an indie movie coming out.

― jeanjeudi, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

(insert Napoleon Dynamite joke here)

― jeanjeudi, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I liked the review for the most part. Maybe just cause I really liked the end, when he was being very clear on what he wanted us to think. But then again, I love to hear personal stories about a person's relationship with music. It just means so much more than a conventional fill-in-the-blanks breakdown of an album.

― , Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I AM HOMER, HEAR ME DOH!
m.

― msp, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I like how "lodger" is supposed to be from "the autumn" of bowie's career.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe's Brent's too ashamed to admit his secret love for Tin Machine.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pretty sure Brent tried to quit once or twice before, but he never announced it formally. So what's next for the D? Pitching screenplays? Joining the McSweeney's cabal? Stalking Camden Joy?

― Nick Mirov (nick), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it’s a good review/story. Don’t know if it can make me want to listen to the album, but I think it’s well-written and he makes a nice point.

― Orange, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

If it's sort of a pisstake on the pretentious, name-dropping, "look what places I've been to, such as a bowling alley in Poland, ahh memories" (sips wine) type of thing, then it's not as bad as it could be.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Piss-take or not, I agree with the stance that reading about production and instrumental tightness can become tedius for reader and writer. There is such a thing as too much detail and too many adjectives.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: english majors vs. musicians

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree with that as well actually xpost

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

er, tedious, of course.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

bah, tedious, can you tell which side I am on?

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm going to start writing reviews like that. I'll always use the sentence "the production and instrumental tightness of (blank) is first rate."

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Birds don't urinate.

― ben tausig (datageneral), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 31 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

MY EMPIRE IS CRUMBLING

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

what do you think about the retraction published today? bah.. wankery .. all of it

― nothingleft (nothingleft), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

can someone post a picture of pitchfork people so i can diss them?!?!?!?!

― 0r4l R0b3rt5 (ex machina), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

http://graphics.jsonline.com/graphics/owlive/img/apr02/promise042202_big.jpg

― rasheed wallace (rasheed wallace), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.sas.upenn.edu/earlymodern/images/indie.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.lepconnie.com/willow/archives/magchron27.jpg

― 0r4l R0b3rt5 (ex machina), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

hey, leave willow outta this!
m.

― msp, Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.firesigntheatre.com/bvhtml/elmertown/pitchfork.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.kathywestmoreland.us/pitchfork.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.qualityentagency.demon.co.uk/images/pitchfork.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.goodgulf.demon.co.uk/DWCON2.FILK.JPG

― 0r4l R0b3rt5 (ex machina), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.undu.com/images/pitchfork.gif

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:43 (twenty-two years ago)

in other beasties review news.. rollingstone gave it five fucking stars. first five star review ive seen since.. well MICK JAGGER'S LAST SOLO ALBUM!&&!&*

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I believe that's David Fricke's first five star since Neil Young's Sleeps With Angels!!

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Neither David Fricke nor Rolling Stone dole out such honors liberally, saving them for only the most important albums ever made.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 23:25 (twenty-two years ago)

David, that's not a five star review

― dleone (dleone), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 23:30 (twenty-two years ago)

are we rating reviews now?

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 23:32 (twenty-two years ago)

is it physically impossible for a reviewer to find lyrics on To The 5 Boroughs that aren't nakedly embarassing?

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 23:34 (twenty-two years ago)

and I forgot, they had Kurt Loder give five stars to The Rising.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

...they've made To the 5 Boroughs for the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan and Staten Island in all of us.

This is worse than anything I've ever read in Pitchfork.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

the review is the equivalent to handing out oscars to people who are 'due' and not necessarily 'talented.'

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

"review"

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 23:44 (twenty-two years ago)

http://sidereus.org/MONEY/images/01-large-sack-cash.gif

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 23:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Full Front Page Retraction of the BB review on P'fork today. The drama continues....

― Michael F Gill (Michael F Gill), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 05:59 (twenty-one years ago)

holy melodrama batmang.

seriously, who cares? a week later and somebody out there cares? was somebody gonna sue pitchfork? okay, now it's official, nasty little man = assholes. i'm not even trying to praise pitchfork or whatever... i'm just saying... for a moronic lil'bit of fictional thumb to nose to turn into a full page retraction, you would have thought that pitchfork had helped convince the indie public that there were weapons of mass destruction in radiohead's snare drum....

you know, i really don't give a fuck if all of that retractable hoopla is true or not, but anybody who's party to making a big deal over nothing is pssht.

over course, i'm making a big deal over a melodramatic big deal so crown me baby, i'm a drama king!

in the words of the semi-immortal banana, "...."

― msp, Tuesday, 22 June 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Karma strikes again.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i heard some indie the other day.

― charltonlido (gareth), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I had indie for dinner twice last week.

Actually, I mean Indian. Never mind.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

dont get me wrong, it was better than i thought it would be, perhaps as high as a 6.8

― charltonlido (gareth), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cyberarium.com/images/misc6199/mndtl.jpg
(mentalism)

― Jon Williams!!!!! (ROFFLE!@!@!@) (ex machina), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

is this a joke?

>> RETRACTION

Last Tuesday, June 15th, Pitchfork published a review of the Beastie Boys' To the 5 Boroughs by Brent DiCrescenzo, a frequent and trusted contributor. In his review, Brent detailed experiences with the Beastie Boys' public relations firm Nasty Little Man, and its president Steve Martin, over the course of several years. Pitchfork has since determined that a number of DiCrescenzo's assertions were false, based on corroborated statements from the two parties he claimed were participating in the chain of events referred to in the review. With apologies to Steve Martin and Nasty Little Man, we have retracted the original review in its entirety, and would like to make the following known publicly, to correct any and all falsities perpetrated by Brent's review:

1) Radiohead were never in Milan in June 1999.

2) Radiohead never moved a concert from Villa Reale in Milan to Monza in 1999, 2000 or otherwise.

3) Steve Martin never "forgot to tell" Brent that the concert was moved, as it was not.

4) Neither Steve Martin, nor anyone working for Nasty Little Man, ever confirmed a Radiohead interview with Brent DiCrescenzo or Pitchfork.

5) Brent DiCrescenzo's declaration that Steve Martin had not gotten back to him or Mean magazine about a possible Beastie Boys interview after six weeks is untrue: Martin was in constant contact with Mean publisher Kashy Khaledi and editor Andy Hunter throughout that period.

6) Mean magazine never "delayed their publication to accomodate [Martin's] procrastination." Kashy Khaledi did so of his own volition in order to keep the Beastie Boys cover story Martin had confirmed and saw through with him every step of the way.

7) Steve Martin has never, to Brent DiCrescenzo's knowledge, "dangled [his] major artists... like carrots to the media in an attempt to blackmail press for features" on less established artists or bands.

Sincerely,
Pitchfork

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I think that the review was supposed to be taken at face value as true, especially since I remember around that time (actually more like a year later, circa Kid A, which is the one big error) Ryan Pitchfork talking up the fact that Brent was going to get to interview Radiohead.

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I think my David Brent DiCrescenzo pun needs posting in two threads.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

argh didn't knwo that was so big

― Jon Williams!!!!! (ROFFLE!@!@!@) (ex machina), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

"How To Bend Over 101" ?? dude i thought i signed up for "Intro to Stickin It to the Man"!!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

I stumbled across this on a Metafilter thread: http://www.coreyandcorey.tv/
Brent D of fired-from-'fork-fame is starring in some kind of ironic 80s mockumentary about Coreys Haim and Feldman.
The bio uses the word "Welebrity" to describe this guy in citing his controversial Pitchfork reviews. I hope to never, ever hear the word "welebrity" again.

― Softly Weeping at the Oki Dog (Ben Boyer), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate you for even bringing it to my attention.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

http://digitalcolony.com/02/maskemail/images/f2903863.49726468.jpg

― Additions Committee, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Too bad Brent can't supplement his income the way the Coreys can.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh GOD do I hate this fucker

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

i think "weblebrity" sounds better

― peter smith (plsmith), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't think up a single damn witty thing about this guy. I just HATE this fucker.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

the trailer for the "movie" is very awful, i'm sad to report. really, really, really awful. like worse than the "comedy" movies my friends and i made in college.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Just reading the description made it sound beyond awful.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

a friend of mine in high school made a two-minute short called "A Day In the Life of Corey Haim and Corey Feldman", which featured scenes of them drinking cough syrup and scrambling for change in the couch cushions and passing out in a pool of their own sick, set to "Back In Baby's Arms" by Patsy Cline. That was back in '92 or something, and even then my friend was saying how the joke was a little stale.

STALE IN '92, BRENT! and is this what he meant when he said:

I have more interesting stories to tell.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

CEWEBRITY?

― dean? (deangulberry), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

CEWEBWITY

― Al (sitcom), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

WEBWEBWITY

― na (Nick A.), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

pitchfork, the movie.

― cºzen (Cozen), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

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