You are at a drunken party and you end up playing strip poker with Emma Bunton, Girls Aloud, Holly Valance and Nicky Wire (in a big banana suit) - how do you cheat so Wire and you remain clothed but

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Is there a good way to make sure of this? A full proof way? Or would you just not play at all? What if Wire said that the banana suit was worth at least ten items of everyone else's clothing and threatened to ruin the game, meaning there'd be - say - NO Bunton nudity cos she gets in a huff?

This might happen to you one day. If it does, you'll be glad for this thread.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Bump

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

LSD

― sexyDancer, Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

This is funny? Right? I mean, you laughed?

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

There are 7 women, stop freaking out.

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

There are 12 people in the world, the rest are paste.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm telling you, if Wire goes for this banana suit schtick he'll have re-launched the band overnight.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know who any of these people are...

― sexyDancer, Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Calum there are only three people left in the world who know or care who Nicky Wire is: you, Nicky Wire, and his mom

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

That's not true! I stopped caring months ago.

― Nicky Wire's mum (Aaron W), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

For fuck's sake. Calum Robert Waddell

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread has been reported to the Department of Homeland Security for potential Asymmetry.

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i glue my clothes to my skin.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I like to eat fishsticks.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Monitoring of Nicky Wire taps shows increased level of 'chatter', increase security code level to RED!

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

bananas are CRAZY!!!!

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Does anyone have a pic of Nicky Wire in a banana suit?

― C-Man (C-Man), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I've got one of Richey Edwards dressed as a giant avocado, but none of Wire, no.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

ALEX YOU KNOW MY EMAIL GIVE IT UP YOU BITCH.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i dunno why everyone hates on these threads so much

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 01:12 (twenty-one years ago)

the level of bile directed at calum is kinda pathetic

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 01:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i've been saying that for ages, i mean nicky wire in a banana suit is kind of funny if you think about it for a few minutes.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

these threads are some of the best things on ilx sometimes.

and, at a base level, how is any different from any of the other tomfoolery that goes on here?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

(haha it took all the effort in the word to not use the words j*n w*l*i*ms)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

you already know the answer to this and similar questions, you have been here as long as i have, you cheeky bastard.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~tchien/page_contents/journal12/journal12_banana2.jpg

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 01:56 (twenty-one years ago)

time well spent

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 01:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Like the A&E Network. Only without American Justice.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

http://victorisdead.com/luna/terror.php

― retort pouch (retort pouch), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Can we get a pic of Nicky Wire photoshopped onto one of these Japanese ladies please?

― C-Man (C-Man), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

http://offcentre.net/photo/2003/0827/100097.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:12 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.themoneyrh.com/Banana.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

http://otoro.com/images/vivisection_wire.jpg

― retort pouch (retort pouch), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i...have nothing to add here.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Calum is now saving this thread in favorites.

Although he will curse retort pouch for giving him ecstasy and killing his hard-on at the same time.

― ..., Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

People, I think I may have been a bit harsh on the Wire/ vivisection thing so you can calm down on that now. My conclusion is that, as on many things, he just does not know what the hell he is speaking about. Considering the Manics have written one song that seems to be about animal cruelty ("Small Black Flowers") and Wire strikes me as someone who protests animal cruelty (the covering of "Bright Eyes", "I cry at Watership Down" etc) I'm not so sure. I think he's just ill-informed and a bit dim, but no surprise there then. The Manics never were the sharpest tools on the bench and now I can hate them for just being dull.

More pics of Wire in a banana suit please.

― C-Man (C-Man), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is "just so damn WEIRD"

― artdamages (artdamages), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 05:44 (twenty-one years ago)

The Department of Homepage Security must de-cock all unauthorised bananas.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 07:34 (twenty-one years ago)

right, so that's why the wire hate. Allez klaar.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 07:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Look, Nicky Wire only says these things to intentionally upset people and challenge the received wisdom of things. Didn't he once start a thread about how "The It Girl" was better than "Blonde on Blonde"?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 07:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark, please explain: are you confusing Nicky Wire with Calum; do you think Calum's started confusing himself with Nicky Wire; or do you think Calum actually is Nicky Wire, and his disturbed mind has created this other, even more obviously disturbed, persona called "Calum" as a means of expressing his enormous sense of impotence, worthlessness and self loathing*?

* - i.e. possibly something a bit like his mate Richy did, only using this character "Calum" he's invented and the interweb instead of a razor blade and his arm.....

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 09:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"I think I may have been a bit harsh..." HA. HA. HA.

"Rising Damp" is funny. Nicky Wire in a banana suit isn't. It's about on the same leven of funnyness as the "thrills" page in the nme.

That said, "retort pouch's" pic is at once very funny, and kind of like art in some strange sort of way.

x-post calum actually is nicky wire? Hmm, what kind of vacuum cleaner do you use calum?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 09:47 (twenty-one years ago)

level, not "leven", argh.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 09:47 (twenty-one years ago)

".... what kind of vacuum cleaner do you use calum?"

Also, was it made in Cuba and has it been tested on animals?

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the main question to be asked is whether Wire is cloated under the banana suit, or it is banana suit or bust. However, having actually ended up in the company of Girls Aloud once I think I would actually just leave the party.

― ___ (___), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 09:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark, please explain: are you

all of those...

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 09:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought as much.

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 10:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you now, or have you at any time been:
(a) a vivisectionist;
(b) an anti-vivisectionist;
(c) Nicky Wire;
(d) Calum;
(e) Fidel Castro;
(f) wearing a banana suit;
(g) all of the above;

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 10:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Intro:
Uh huh, uh huh
Feels good to be back at the essence where it all started you know
Uh huh, uh huh
What up
Uh huh, uh huh
Turn up my headphones man, uh huh uh huh
I got a few things I wanna tell the people out there
Yo, yo, yo

Hook:
All I hear is fugee this, fugee that
Where fugee at? I need fugees to spit up on this track
Lauryn if you’re listenin, pras if you’re listenin
Gimme a call I’m in the lab in the booga basement
Y’all know my style, I’m still *mini, money, mini, mini,
It ain’t all about the money*

[verse 1]
When I was hustla, two dogs by my side plus a black pistola
Loud mcs, feel the silencer
Y’all still rhymin, y’all cuckoo, I send cycles to belvue
This ain’t a sequel son, but I have you scream 2 [ahhh!]
Real live cinema of the streets produced a junkie
Put back on your shirt man you lookin like et
You’re cracked out, for dough, some blow on saxophone
You’re rhymin off beat even with help from my metronomes
See, y’all ain’t mcs, you a cm
Common motherfucker rhymin about lexus and benz
The same benz you got jacked in, drunk off of gin
You woke up in hell gettin sexed by marilyn manson
You lie, you deny, pass me the microphone
I guess like eddie murphy you was givin ’em a ride home
Yeah right, 25 mics, material in the source
While your rap crew’s on steroids lookin like full force
Your girl she’s buffed, puffed, in daytime don’t play rough
The freaks come out at night so that’s when I bring out the cuffs
Grandma marnier, cd player number two
Shadae’s in my bedroom singin sweetest taboo

Hook

[verse 2]
We used to rap, now y’all wanna come and get me with a bat?
Y’all must be smokin crack, with pookie from new jack
How could y’all forget, I’m the reason y’all mc
But y’all flip like pharisees and charge me for blasphemy
You know who you are, eight bar superstar
Karate cars, buy up the bars with the credit cards
You wanna impress, I’m young chick, you just met
First thing she say, I used to run with wyclef
Look surprised, see your flesh outside your vest
Yeah you could fight, in the wwf
Cuz in this arena ain’t nothin but gladiators and haters
Hopin they kill me and roll and feed me to the tigers
Oh lord, protect me from the devil
They open the book of life, y’all readin like the anti christ
Your weak kid, stop lyin to the public
You wanted it so bad that you took all the production credits
Some mcs in the underground, mad at me cuz I’m above ground
Counting english pounds
I tell ya what, success don’t come overnight
I was in noah’s ark for forty days and forty nights
Contemplatin what should I write, what should I recite
Cuz ain’t nobody here but thugs and chicks wit ice
That’s when I daydream into the twilight
Girls wit they man, screamin I hate life
Baby girl look in the opposite direction
Cuz my class is the *misedu...*

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 10:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Did anyone actually answer the question?

― C-Man (C-Man), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)

why would YOU want to keep your clothes on? wouldn't you want the ladies to see how fantastically well endowed you are so they would "shag" you?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

(They'd still go for the banana)

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 11:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd like to see more pics of Wire in the suit. Norman is wrong. It is HILARIOUS (can't you just see him stumbling on to the stage in one and jumping up an down whilst the crowd look on confused?)

― C-Man (C-Man), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Pah, I can just visualise you opening nme, turning to the "thrills" page, and crying w/laughter. IT IS NOT FUNNY. NOBODY CARES ABOUT NICKY WIRE.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Cant you come up with a thread topic that includes banana-suited nicky wire, sleeper, and pitchfork magazine? (possibly alo momus as well) That would rule, and probably get 1000+ replies.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Nicky Wire wearing a trucker hat and a banana suit shouting Pitchfork reviews by Brent D out of a car window at Momus with rock music made by the black people from Dave Matthews Band playing in the background.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

ON ACID

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I wuz right the 1st time.

― sexyAnswerMe!, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I know, I was hoping Dan'd lock the thread & we'd have a near-perfect circle

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Who's Nicky Wire?

But yes, to answer the question, you'd play with a marked deck, although it would require you and N. Wire memorising the symbols on the back of the cards first.

― Sasha (sgh), Thursday, 24 June 2004 00:50 (twenty-one years ago)

TS: Nicky Wire in a banana suit vs. Momus

― wetmink (wetmink), Thursday, 24 June 2004 03:11 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

yeah, i still don't know who nicky wire is either. i will always picture him in a banana suit though.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 18:08 (twenty years ago)

This thread reminds me of "Who's line is it anyway", in that there's a lot of funnie going on, and Calum is the "Clive Anderson" 'straight man' i.e. not that funny, part.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 09:40 (twenty years ago)

these threads are some of the best things on ilx sometimes.
(...)

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle@ho

If you wait long enough, it becomes true, it seems.

Sad to see retort pouch' amazing picture isn't there anymore. Did anyone save it?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 09:53 (twenty years ago)

A fine analogy Mark, but one which unfortunately leaves one vital and burning question unanswered: who is assuming the pivotal role of Richard Vranch at the piano?

(x-post)

― John Sessions (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 09:57 (twenty years ago)

Nicky Wire is the bassist in global rock gods 'Manic Lane Preachers'.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 09:59 (twenty years ago)

Panic Meat Stretchers

― Vintage Latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 10:34 (twenty years ago)

Have I mentioned how glad I am that C-Man has died?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 10:50 (twenty years ago)

you are at a drunken party with emma bunton, nicky wire (in a banana suit) and rachel stevens. A man walks up to you and hands you a piece of paper. When you look at it it reads "OPO double albums featuring a guest appearance from an artist on another label, that have a picture of a woman on the cover and that are name after capital cities:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.".

How do you manage to shoot him in the face without a/ getting arrested b/getting thrown out of the party (which is otherwise very enjoyable)?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 11:12 (twenty years ago)

You don't fool me. That list of Chicago albums aren't all double albums.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 11:16 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha ha ha.

Git.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 11:19 (twenty years ago)

"you are at a drunken party with emma bunton, nicky wire (in a banana suit) and rachel stevens. A man walks up to you and hands you a piece of paper...."

Hang on a minute.... surely you're not trying to tell me that Holly Valance left the party early with C-Man?

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 11:31 (twenty years ago)

Well, he's not here now. And it is a party, right?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 11:36 (twenty years ago)

Have I mentioned how glad I am that C-Man has died?

That's cold, man. That's cold.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 11:38 (twenty years ago)

surely you're not trying to tell me that Holly Valance left the party early with C-Man?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 11:40 (twenty years ago)

????

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 11:40 (twenty years ago)

summat didn't work there.

Nevermind, the punchline wasn't funny anyway.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 11:41 (twenty years ago)

"Well, he's not here now. And it is a party, right?"

If it is, it's not the best one I've ever been to.

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 12:46 (twenty years ago)

Well, I'm in the kitchen so I guess it must be.

― jonah lewie (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 12:50 (twenty years ago)

We all walked out of the kitchen, and danced in a new way...
http://www.pieravenuebaptistchurch.org.uk/Dance%20Worship%20logo.gif

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 12:54 (twenty years ago)

You should wear lycra more often Mark, it suits you.

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 13:07 (twenty years ago)

having been to glasgow i understand c-man more

― retarded and gay (bato), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 20:00 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

[admin:can you not do this please]

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 31 January 2008 14:16 (eighteen years ago)

A full proof way?

Those are the skills that got Calum where he is today.

― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 31 January 2008 14:18 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.electricscotland.com/music/minstrelsie/vol6p318.jpg

― Tom D., Thursday, 31 January 2008 14:21 (eighteen years ago)

one of those ordinary horror cinema freelancer nights, then...

― DJ Mencap, Thursday, 31 January 2008 14:26 (eighteen years ago)

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