SHOULD I APPLY TO WRITE FOR PITCHFORK

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All submissions must also include:

# A list of your Top 10 favorite albums of 2004 (so far)

# A list of your Top 5 favorite bands from each decade (1970s-2000s)

# A list of the last 10 CDs you bought

# Estimate of the number of CDs and LPs you think you've owned

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Apparently, music began in 1970, people only buy CDs and tapes never existed

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

yuo'd b teh saveiour ov pitchfrock mate.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

whatever - they just want to get an idea of what youre like. we cant crucify pitchfork for everything they say...

― peter smith (plsmith), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I can.

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

# A list of the last 10 CDs you bought

This is a trick question. The correct answer is "I only get stuff from www.mycokemusic.com nowadays".

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

he has a lot of free time.

you might as well go for it jon.

― jess, Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I might actually do it.... I know exactly what I'm going to review too:

http://www.wolfeyes.net/images/releases/supra.jpg

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I already claimed the Boredoms record

― dleone (dleone), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

haha is that the cover to the sub pop record?

― jess, Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

dude, of course I can't write the review for a MAJOR RELEASE by the BEST BAND EVER

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i guess im considering responding - i dunno, though - im not sure what i want to review, though. maybe next time they do an open call...

― peter smith (plsmith), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

no, its the cover of a REMIX CDR by a 'MYSTERY' ____MAN FROM PROVIDENCE

I got it for $3. Fuck a subpop, this shit is the real shit.

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

also, watch the CAPS

― dleone (dleone), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I will say no more.

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i should do this under an assumed name.

― jess, Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

assuming ryan still hates me.

― jess, Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

jess, shhhh

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:15 (twenty-one years ago)

are there any more details about new boredoms, jon or dom? personnel? title? etc?

― peter smith (plsmith), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Its called Seadrum/House of Sun. People are speculating that it might be the "underwater drumming" that Eye talked about or possibly the V0oredoms beach sessions.

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

http://mediamax.sumiya.co.jp/review.asp?cd=WPCL10119

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

NEW BOREDOMS!!!!!! 9/23/2004 (THIS IS THE THREAD WHERE GYGAX! AND JW KISS EACH OTHER)

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

actually, maybe you can be the guy that does caps

― dleone (dleone), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder if Pitchfork would print something in all caps....

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Mountain mound EYE it is ever since 1998 of lock band and BOREDOMS which are led, the album "of the BOREDOMS" name.

― peter smith (plsmith), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess do it under the assumed name "Jon Williams".

Jon, seriously, I say go for it.

― mcd (mcd), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:20 (twenty-one years ago)

you'd have to frame it as like a diaryland entry or something xpost

― jess, Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:20 (twenty-one years ago)

go for it IN ALL CAPS?

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:20 (twenty-one years ago)

you should. you are the dave q of 2004, jon.

― doomie x, Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:23 (twenty-one years ago)

you may apply if you wish, but i don't think even pitchfork would take on a moron like jon williams. apols for bluntness.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

You type in all lowercase!

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i rest my case

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:37 (twenty-one years ago)

but i don't think even pitchfork would take on a moron like jon williams.

they have their share of morons already.

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i like jon, but he's nowhere near dave q

― jess, Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a false comparison anyway, potatoes and rutabegas

― jess, Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

which is jon?

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

kiwi

― jess, Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

rough and hairy on the outside, inside a green tart

― jess, Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

You temptress, Jess.

he's nowhere near dave q

Spot on.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a false comparison anyway, potatoes and rutabegas

TS: potatoes vs rutabegas

another old ilm guy would say, DO YOU SEE?!?!

― dleone (dleone), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Jon should EDIT pitchfork.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

pitchfork needs more animated gifs

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Holy mother of fuck, Latebloomer is a genius.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

(other than ads for Death Cab for Cutie rekkids)

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

be fair jess, ned, everyone: NO ONE can touch dave q right now, no one in the world

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

SHOULD JON APPLY TO WRITE FOR CONFLICT

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

be fair jess, ned, everyone: NO ONE can touch dave q right now, no one in the world

maybe if Meltzer came to terms with life on this planet after 1968

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

meltzer, schmeltzer: he ain't shit no more, move over old man and make room for the new breed

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

jon is the underground dave q now that dave q has sold out to the maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. (joke btw to all touchy ilxors.)

― doomie x, Tuesday, 10 August 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd actually read reviews by you, Jon.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 34 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

jon should do columns for them in the form of flashing animated paintshop pro gifs over animated backgrounds.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Jon Williams has seen the band VietNam...and it was a terrible time to be an american.

― ddb (ddb), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

jon should do columns for them in the form of flashing animated paintshop pro gifs over animated backgrounds.

have you not seen: http://www.playlouder.com/ ?

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread has made my depressed sick self very happy

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought about applying but I don't write long enough for them.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

shit sandwich.

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread has made my depressed sick self very happy

Me too.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Every review should begin with a variant of that Good Charlotte-beating-up-Avril anime illustration. Wolf Eyes stomping on John Mayer...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Ryan crying in a corner and sucking his thumb animated gif!

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I almost wrote an angry letter to Pitchfork this morning for erroneously crediting "Crazy In Love" to Scott Storch for at least the 3rd time in print.

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

they should make like the economist and have every letter on their mail page start with "SIRS--"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

They could have said Scott Stapp.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

it does have thump.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Jon Williams has seen the band VietNam...and it was a terrible time to be an american.

they're from philly originally, you know. as if i needed another reason to be ashamed of this city!

maybe i should write for pitchfork. er, no.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

austin -> philly -> vice HQ

THEY ARE SO BAD

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

pitchfork doesn't pay, do they?

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

It's funny how badly we all want something interesting to happen to Pitchfork.

But yeah, do it. Mention Ian in all your reviews, too

― Sonny A. (Keiko), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 17:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Why would anyone want to write for such an appallingly vanilla rag?

Any list of the last ten CDs I bought would end in '01 and begin in '98... After '01, none purchased. My point? That the proliferation of music online - an infinite quantity, in every imaginable genre - should have made all music writers realize that concepts like "best," "favorite," and "top ten" are as outmoded as rotary dial telephones, hoop skirts, and butter churns. With everything available, and given the sheer impossibility of sampling even a fraction of releases within a particluar genre, perceived knowledge of a "five-star" effort should be greeted with derision and threats of violence.

Are the Boredoms quantitatively superior to Arkie Shibley? Who "rocks" harder: Hecate or Kalevi Aho?

It's all completely meaningless now, and THAT's the angle that needs to be played up.

Anyone's best is automatically high atop my dead pool... It all should be for fun, for maximum leverage of ENJOYMENT, whether it be GZA, Asmus Tietchens, Baron, Proem, Sieg Uber Die Sonne, or Al friggin' Hirt.

― ggsh josh, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Jon I love you

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 23:53 (twenty-one years ago)

physically

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i quite liked that tirade

― cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 12 August 2004 00:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Al, i thought SS did Crazy in Love too! so uh, who DID produce it?

and jon since when do you write? more importantly, DOES THE WORLD NEED ANOTHER ROCKCRIT??

― Ade (Adrian Langston), Thursday, 12 August 2004 00:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Jon, howcum yu dunt haf a bloggg? i wood read it ifn the crazy pictures weren't too big.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 12 August 2004 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck pitchfork, i think u should be fucking up at the VV instead

― V-Man, Thursday, 12 August 2004 01:19 (twenty-one years ago)

or better yet TEH ROLLING STONE

― V-Man, Thursday, 12 August 2004 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Christ, you dudes are thick... I'm not yr pal Jon. I'm just a guy with an opinion. I'm sick of everything being dumbed down, and I'm not auditioning for a position anywhere. My point was simple - at least it seemed obvious to me. Our critics need to 86 the superlatives, which are inevitably married to tiresome, old-ass ideas in the first place. Far better to play the system against itself. Meltzer may be a relic of the 60s, but he certainly had a great set of ideas: disrupt, sabotage, dismantle. Pitchfork is utter rubbish. I long for the days when John Holstrom was doing "Punk" - they pitted Bay City Rollers against Sex Pistols! It never got much better than that... Too bad I was minus three years old at the time!

― ggsh josh, Thursday, 12 August 2004 01:37 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://digitalcolony.com/02/maskemail/images/f2863275.12241727.jpg

― Ms. Cleo, Thursday, 12 August 2004 01:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I curse the image formatting in this bitch, hear?

― Ms. Cleo, Thursday, 12 August 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Should I write for pitchfork?

― frankE (frankE), Thursday, 12 August 2004 03:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll challenge it.

1) People can still have favorites (meaning, obv, their favorites amongst WHAT THEY KNOW).

2) "Are the Boredoms quantitatively superior to Arkie Shibley?"

You're saying that someone could not listen to both and have an opinion about it?

3) "It all should be for fun, for maximum leverage of ENJOYMENT"

What is this, a "shut up and play your guitar" statement? (Frank Kogan to thread?)

― Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Thursday, 12 August 2004 04:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyone who pays more attention to the numbers than the words needs a fucking slap.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 12 August 2004 06:08 (twenty-one years ago)

As does anybody who pays more attention to the words than to the music, MMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnn........

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 12 August 2004 06:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I AM PLAYING KYUSS IN A LIBRARY AT 8.30AM MOTHERFUCKERS.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 12 August 2004 06:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Christ, you dudes are thick... I'm not yr pal Jon.

Yes, well, this is why those posts that mentioned Jon were directed at him, not you. :)

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Thursday, 12 August 2004 09:48 (twenty-one years ago)

(cat noise)

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Thursday, 12 August 2004 09:53 (twenty-one years ago)

ALCAZARIZED!

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Thursday, 12 August 2004 09:54 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

What does advertising intern entail?

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

And with what lies should I pad out my resume?

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Just tell R. Pitchfork that you know a dozen Suicide Girls and all your female friends post to makeoutclub.com

also, Neutral Milk Hotel, best band ever.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 03:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think I was accepted to write for them. :(

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 05:07 (twenty-one years ago)

You should consider yourself blessed.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 05:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris Ott once intimated they wanted to "sign" me, which made me laugh.

If my memory serves I was paying you a compliment, something on the order of, "I've been reading your stuff, mentioned it to Ryan, I think it's very good," but this was before you started quoting Revelations and signing every review in dyed tears. That has its place too, I guess - there's always room for a few more The World is Moving Through Me Right Now as I Listen to The Best Record Ever Made sort of pieces.

And actually I don't recall any umbrage at the time, but, feel free to paint a fleeting past interest in as revisionist a light as you need - any association you can make between yourself and Pitchfork (or even just me) is only going to improve your situation in the exposure department.

As regards writing for Pitchfork, Gear! has the dated 2001 shortlist to getting your foot in the Pfork door - Scott is actually putting forth the candidates these days. Swap NMH with DI and makeoutclub with ILM and you're there. Which...shock horror, means I Love Pitchfork subforum is just weeks away.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

The thing is, Ott, that you delivered your 'compliment' in your usual snide, supercillious manner, meaning that it appeared less as a compliment than as the kind of snide, supercillious aside you specialise in. Much like this post.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Well you know they call me The Specialist...forgive the Tony Wilson impression, it's that Libertines article poisoning me; I still read your stuff Nick.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

When you boys are done swordfighting, kindly please to answer my advertising intern position question.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear! has the dated 2001 shortlist to getting your foot in the Pfork door

no wonder I've been getting rebuffed. = (

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

they already have enough writers

if you write 4 or more reviews a month (give or take we can work something out) i'll pay $10 a review (and they only have to be three paragraphs)

interviews and articles i'll pay $20

[email protected] if interested

― twelve, Thursday, 2 September 2004 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

Oh boy, this thread brings the comedy on so many levels....

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 24 December 2005 01:18 (twenty years ago)

four years pass...

pitchfork needs more animated gifs
― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, August 10, 2004 2:07 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark

wish granted

― thistle supporter (mcoll), Monday, 1 November 2010 19:19 (fifteen years ago)

i can't believe they hanged the dude from javelin

― like a musical album. made by a band. (fucking in the streets), Monday, 1 November 2010 19:30 (fifteen years ago)

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