In 2025, when we are all gumming our food, these are the acts that will get "criticially reassessed"...

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Hypothetical futurology...
Imagine that it's 2025, and all the current music-crit folks on ILM have all gone on to gigs writing at Blender (which in this hypothetical scenario, fills the same nichein the year 2025 that Rolling Stone does in 2005...) and a new crop of music-crits are writing for a new crop of music magazines.
Eventually, they decide to "criticially reassess" the stuff they grew up on.
So, what currently-seen-as-unbearably-crappy acts, will get the favorable nostalgic reappraisals?
Which currently-lauded-as-heroes-acts will be mocked as dinosaurs?

Eh?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 29 November 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

White Stripes in lip-synching controversy!

― Huk-L, Monday, 29 November 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahahahaha!
Like that quick response, Huk.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 29 November 2004 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

all the current music-crit folks on ILM have all gone on to gigs writing at Blender

That's it, aim low.

― George Smith, Monday, 29 November 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"Musically, we are more talented than any Michael Stipe. Musically, we are more talented than Jack White! Thom Yorke, his vocals are not clear. He don't know how he should produce a sound. I'm the new modern rock-n-roll. I'm the new Eminem." - Julian Casablancas (right before he had to hand his award back and die from an overdose.)

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 29 November 2004 21:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Eminem was a hero to most
But he never meant shit to me you see
Straight up racist that sucker was
Simple and plain
Motherfuck him and Mel Gibson

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 29 November 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmmm, wonder if Wu-Tang will have more impact on the future than PE ever did?
Or if in the future, Hip-Hop will be scoffed at for being music for "dumb crackers" or somesuch.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 29 November 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Too bad it won't be said in that Hans und Franz voice.

― Pekka, Monday, 29 November 2004 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Dec. 2024: After having dismissed them for decades, critics agree The Dave Mathews Band is the greatest band of modern time.

Jan. 2025: Universe implodes.

― Apparently now known as (o )( o) (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 29 November 2004 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Feb. 2025: new bubble universe forms, inhabited solely by jam band fans transported there by doing too much shrooms. accidental glimpses of this realm in our universe throughout history will form the basis of the judaeo-christian conception of Hell.

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Monday, 29 November 2004 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i surf these channels with astral powers...they are the Hell beyond hell which dare not speak its name

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Monday, 29 November 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

While it remains to be seen if critics will ever agree to actually like the Strokes, they will at least decide that they sound a lot more akin to the Modern Lovers, Thin Lizzy* and the Buzzcocks than the Velvet Underground.

*I shit you not; exhibit A being "Look What the Wind Blew In"; exhibit B being my own personal imagination of what Phil Lynott would sing like if he was a perpetually baffled vaguely-Italian dude

― MC Transmaniacon (natepatrin), Tuesday, 30 November 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

*I shit you not; exhibit A being "Look What the Wind Blew In"; exhibit B being my own personal imagination of what Phil Lynott would sing like if he was a perpetually baffled vaguely-Italian dude- i thought he was a perpetually baffled vaguely-Italian dude.

― lars, Tuesday, 30 November 2004 07:22 (twenty-one years ago)

He's Irish-Brazilian, actcherly

― MC Transmaniacon (natepatrin), Tuesday, 30 November 2004 07:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Slightly new questions:
1) Will Britney and Xtina be sponging fame off some future diva the way Madonna sponges off of them?
2) What will Nu-Nu-Nu-Nu-Metal sound like?
3) Kid Rock...the Kurt Cobain of 2025?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

*wishful thinking*

Matthew Sweet will be our Gram Parsons.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

My best guess: since postmodernist pastiche method is pretty much set to expire, Outkast and Beck will be first to leave the canon. Their approach will not make any sense or provide any pleasure when all the genres they surf between are equally dated.

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Christ, I hope the robots kill us all first

― MC Transmaniacon (natepatrin), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

dave matthews, john mayer, maroon 5, and hoobastank will all be remembered as better than any of us (including me) think they are. some critics will write very, very convincingly about this. trust me.

― chuck, Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

there will also be a major critical reasessment, somewhere along the line, of '00s christian pop and rock bands, perhaps starting with switchfoot, but moving on to artists none of us have ever heard of.

― chuck, Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

chuck sasha frere-jones already sold me on hoobastank!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, I'm willing to settle for nuclear armageddon if robots are unavailable

― MC Transmaniacon (natepatrin), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

mikael wood likes hoobastank okay too. (and he writes about maroon 5 and switchfoot in the voice next week, too. which, okay, partically gave me this idea.) but that's only a start. i am fucking clueless about this stuff, and any idiots out there who still believe that i "only like what other critics hate" or whatever the retarded canard is should wonder how come i hate this pisswater as much as all the critics do. but other people won't. the christian rock thing is going to be a big deal -- especially when some smart upstart shows us that, rather than being the reactionaries we think they are, all these christian rockers saved jesus for the liberals and the progressives while evangelical laissez faire fascists were taking over the world.

― chuck, Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

"since postmodernist pastiche method is pretty much set to expire"

You're right. Them Beatles and Stones never did get very far

― Bumfluff, Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:35 (twenty-one years ago)

'flood' by jars of clay is definitely in my top 100 alt-rock classix!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

well, i always loved days of the new myself. and "gel" by collective soul, and "kryptonite." but i'm still not sure if those count.

― chuck, Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

how did "gel" go?

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

< NOT SO SERIOUS QUESTIONS>
Norah Jones == the future's Carly Simon?
John Mayer == nu-Sting?
Ryan Adams == Peter Frampton? (Except he still calls the columnists up to bitch as he fills his Depends up.)
< /NOT SO SERIOUS QUESTIONS>

< EXTREMELY SERIOUS QUESTION>
Will this "Radiohead is the next Pink Floyd" nonsense ever go away?
< /EXTREMELY SERIOUS QUESTION>

Hoobastank, no. I think they'll be something for the obscurantists.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:48 (twenty-one years ago)

In 2025, I'm certain that some form of The Dead will still be touring.

― Edward Bax, Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Unfortunately, they will be eating the living.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Soylent Green Day is people!!

― Bruce S. Urquhart (BanjoMania), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Jack Logan's Run

― MC Transmaniacon (natepatrin), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Zager and Evans?

― Ernest P. (ernestp), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Why will I be gumming food at age 41?

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:38 (twenty-one years ago)

You forgot to floss.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Hoobastank, no. I think they'll be something for the obscurantists.

That gives me a horrible thought: Nuggets-style revisionism of current alt-rock...

"Y'see, bands like Puddle Of Mudd were really, like, growing up in the shadow of Nirvana and Pearl Jam. So, like, they never really got their due. Until now. Man, I can't believe these guys weren't appreciated back in the day. Didn't people know a good thing when they heard it?"

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Thursday, 2 December 2004 04:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Didn't people know a good thing when they heard it?
Yeah. And Hoobastank wasn't it. Hence, why they changed the station.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 06:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I see future Nuggets compilers combing through thousands of crap IDM CDRs and mp3s and pulling out the best little moments to create a whole late '90s, early '00s bedroom music revival. By then all of the computer moves that seem hopelessly cliched to us now will seem as precious and glorious as the fuzz, phase and flange trappings of rare '60s psych 45s. Music geeks will go on an insane quest to replicate the exact flavors of vintage timestretching used on seminal tracks and boutique software companies will reissue rare MAX/MSP patches ported to Windows 2025.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Thursday, 2 December 2004 08:08 (twenty-one years ago)

i have never read anything so true

― JaXoN (JasonD), Thursday, 2 December 2004 08:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Jezz, Walter thats scary. My life just got shorter somehow.

― The Velvet Overlord (The Velvet Overlord), Thursday, 2 December 2004 08:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Happy Hardcore is gonna be the new northern soul in 20 years time. It's already bloody hard to find cos only the breakbeat stuff gets compiled and reissued, and most of the really pure 4/4 stompy stuff only ever ends up in Cash Converters, never on eBay because all the folks that bought it back in the mid 90s have either outgrown it or sold it for smack. I can see strangely mustachioed men selling 12"s on Evolution gold to one another for big bucks in the back rooms of pubs many years from now and reminiscing about when ecstasy was illegal.

― Jacob (Jacob), Thursday, 2 December 2004 09:38 (twenty-one years ago)

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