Let's make a canon of ILM's strawman punching bags, starting with Phil Collins

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I think he's rubbish as well, but nothing seems to rally a thread like taking a dump on one of these wholly foresaken wretches, these bin Laden's of the music world. So who else is there?

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Sunday, 16 January 2005 08:54 (twenty-one years ago)

phil collins?

drums on in the air tonight. sussudio.

don't you like music?

― greg, Sunday, 16 January 2005 09:05 (twenty-one years ago)

bin ladens???????

fer fuck sakes they do what they do for mooolah.

― tha gregman, Sunday, 16 January 2005 09:06 (twenty-one years ago)

oberst, obv.

― cws (cws), Sunday, 16 January 2005 09:33 (twenty-one years ago)

MC Paul Barman

― Jacob (Jacob), Sunday, 16 January 2005 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Wilco.
Radiohead.
Coldplay.

― Josh Love (screamapillar), Sunday, 16 January 2005 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, no way Greg, sit down. This thread is for looking at some of ILM's more iconic scapegoats, like your iconic bad guy in Bush's alleged War on Terror.

Come to think of it, the thought of having hoarded as much music as I have, only to learn I'd never really liked music in the first place, is a new terror all of my own.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Sunday, 16 January 2005 09:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Michael Bolton is pretty good target too.

― karl76 (karl76), Sunday, 16 January 2005 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Stephen, I do actually think that almost everyone else named on this thread is a bigger scapegoat than Phil Collins, who has defenders a-plenty.

― jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 16 January 2005 10:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Dave Matthews.
Creed.
Nickelback.

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Sunday, 16 January 2005 10:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll defend Wilco and Radiohead, within reason. I think Uncle Tupelo is kinda crap.

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Sunday, 16 January 2005 10:05 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post:

I've seldom seen these defenders, but agree with most other nominations. I'm not sure I've heard any Dave Matthews though.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Sunday, 16 January 2005 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Definitely Bono.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Sunday, 16 January 2005 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.garaj.org/images/haber/dalbarn.jpg

Winner.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 16 January 2005 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

ILM actually makes me feel sorry for bono.

― supercub, Sunday, 16 January 2005 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

WTF? "strawman punching bags"? I don't thik there is a single musical act who somebody won't speak up for.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Sunday, 16 January 2005 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Lock thread.

― Bimble... (Bimble...), Sunday, 16 January 2005 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I actually find MC Paul Barman to be pretty amusing.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 16 January 2005 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

pashmina otm, plus i don't think radiohead belong here *at all* seeing as kid a was voted album of the decade in an ilm poll. oberst and ryan adams are widely, if not universally, hated on ilm. id say there's plenty of love for "in the air tonight" around these parts (myself included) so phil collins is not a suitable candidate.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Sunday, 16 January 2005 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

haha good thing you didn't start with hall and oates, Stephen Stockwell, or you'd be dead by now.

― g--ff (gcannon), Sunday, 16 January 2005 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

MC Hammer.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 16 January 2005 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

bin ladens???????

fer fuck sakes they do what they do for mooolah.

Haha.

― RS £aRue (rockist_scientist), Sunday, 16 January 2005 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't thik there is a single musical act who somebody won't speak up for.

Yeah, no shit. The point was, there are some acts whose supporters on this board are so few and isolated, they're practically clinging to driftwood on the high seas.

But yeah, MC Hammer without a doubt. And if he's in, so is Vanilla Ice.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

And maybe there are bigger scapegoats than Phil Collins, although he's a perfectly good starting point. Bono and Ryan Adams do cop a severe panning, indeed. How about Celine Dion and Shania Twain, though?

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:10 (twenty-one years ago)

And what of ILMers themselves? I can count but ONE defender of Chris Ott, and everyone knows who that is. I'd also include Geir Hongro, but he tended to confound rather than enrage.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I've read defenses of Shania Twain on these boards, although how anyone could possibly see a good side to Celine Dion is beyond me.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually Andrew completely OTM. Shania is sexy, Dion needs to be banished to the countryside permanently.

― Bimble... (Bimble...), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I was in Borders the other day and saw a Anne Geddes calendar featuring Celine Dion. Just what I wanted! "Cute" bloated sack of crap babies on potplants with some hideous airbrushed "diva" cuddling them! Fucking YAY.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Every. Indie. Rapper. Ever.

― What's this place, Biblevania? (natepatrin), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

g--ff:There's definitely buzz for Hall & Oats around here.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:21 (twenty-one years ago)

And with Michael Bolton should come Kenny G. Such mullets usually travel in pairs.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Vanilla ice
Britney Spears
Beyonce
Fantasia
Alicia Keys

― startrekman, Monday, 17 January 2005 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Whooah! I don't think you'll get away with Britney or Beyonce. Tom would strongly disagree. And Tim Finney, and quite a few others, I'd expect.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

startrekman has clearly not been around here long enough.

I don't think anyone came to the defense of Creed.

Find a song on ILM that everybody HATES
Bands that EVERYONE hates

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm a big fan of Britney and Beyonce, so, yeah...

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:29 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost) I always thought Britney and Beyonce were in the top 10 most beloved among ILMers.

― billstevejim, Monday, 17 January 2005 04:41 (twenty-one years ago)

What has Chris Robinson contributed to music?

― Disco Nihilist (mjt), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Thread sucks.

― cdwill, Monday, 17 January 2005 05:56 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah yer right stephen :-)

howzabout:

jazzanova
dubstep
idm

― thagregman, Monday, 17 January 2005 08:33 (twenty-one years ago)

jazzy hiphop

― thegregman, Monday, 17 January 2005 08:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Arrested Development!

― mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Monday, 17 January 2005 10:07 (twenty-one years ago)

petridish. but then the doughnut can't be kicked hard or often enough.

exhibit one: review of mercury rev album in grauniad friday review. standard petridish structure, i.e. spend first half of review ranting against "experimental" and "avant garde" music, then second half getting entirely wrong picture of the record he's supposed to be reviewing.

exhibit two: waiting in the hairdressers on fridays i read GQ. frightful blokey right-wing rot - let's party like it's 1987 - but i discover that petridish is also their music editor! and lo and behold there's an article by him going on about how british acts shouldn't bother trying to sell records in america because american audiences have zero taste in music. illustrated, appropriately, with yet another full-sized photo of his ugly smug mug in the basement of out on the floor in camden's busy inverness street.

someone conscript him to basra, please, before he does any more damage.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 17 January 2005 10:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Gilles Peterson!
Oasis!
Ashlee Simpson!
The Dave Matthews Band!
3 Feet High And Rising!
The Libertines!

― mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Monday, 17 January 2005 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

3 feet high and rising?

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 17 January 2005 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe no-one's mentioned http://www.nrk.no/img/208663.jpeg yet.

Honorary additional mention: Kenny G.

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Monday, 17 January 2005 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Come on, Mike. I've seen no lack of spirited defence for Arrested Development, De La Soul and even Oasis. Gilles Peterson seems to have very few friends indeed, though.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Monday, 17 January 2005 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

The drummer for Gay Dad.

― Ian Moraine (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 17 January 2005 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and Nicky Wire.

― Ian Moraine (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 17 January 2005 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I was just coming here to say Alexis Petrides, but Mr Carlin has already demonstrated that "strawman" means "way-too-easy target that is slathered with overheated invective beat up upon in lieu of a real argument." Also, I'd say, "The Guardian" in general, "random googlers," and Pitchfork.

Musically, maybe Peter Cetera and/or Chicago songs featuring Peter Cetera. Also, Gomez. (Note: there are three other people besides me who have admitted love for Gomez.)

― Haibun (Begs2Differ), Monday, 17 January 2005 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Keane
Jamie Cullum
Pitchfork
Kings of Leon

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Monday, 17 January 2005 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Wot, no Lenny Kravitz yet!?

My personal position re Celine Dion has always ranged from extreme indifference to half-arsed approval. And if I'm not the ONLY supporter of The Tea Party and Barbra Streisand, I'm sure I'm close to it (and surely the only one who likes 'em BOTH.)

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Monday, 17 January 2005 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

derogatis!

― artdamages (artdamages), Monday, 17 January 2005 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

The answer has go to be The Dave Matthews Band. I've NEVER seen anyone defend them.

― darin (darin), Monday, 17 January 2005 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post:

I've resisted adding Barbara Streisand for a day and a half, and for no good reason. A couple of weeks ago, I sat through her film, The Way we Were, on the train from Adelaide to Melbourne and was reminded just what a tiresome crank she is. And I think you're right, Von Bontee: no one else is waving her flag for miles around.

I don't know why everyone beats up on The Tea Party, though; they're not good or particularly bad, they're just there, like most others.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Looks like I gotta listen me some Dave Matthews and see what all the fuss is about.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 01:35 (twenty-one years ago)

You could just read this.

Dave Matthews Band : Name Your Reasons Why They Are So Bad & Hated.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, no - it's much too long! Ten thousand posts or something? You'd be better off just... well, you'd be, you know, you could just.. um... that is to say, you could listen to the - aw, jeez. I don't know, man.

― Pangolino again, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 01:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Jody Beth and I will always stand up for at least SOME Barbra Streisand albums.

― Haibun (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

There's more than a few IDM enthusiasts around here, Gregman (upthread). I'm one of them.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 03:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Everclear /Art alexasskiss solo

― Disco Nihilist (mjt), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 04:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Everclear's got some fans here! Including me (at least Sparkle & Fade thru that Volume One Album)

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 04:32 (twenty-one years ago)

joss stone

― Shmool McShmool (shmuel), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 06:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"ILM's strawman punching bags" != "has no defenders on ILM"

― Shmool McShmool (shmuel), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 06:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Is this Petridis chap like the DeRo of the UK?

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 06:08 (twenty-one years ago)

more like casey kasem wanting to be derogatis

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 08:11 (twenty-one years ago)

wholly forsaken wretches

straw man

this mean stephen wants to set up punching bags i believe. a canon of musicians we raise up as rubbish and kick kick kick to prove...what?

i do this myself - i do.

― thagregman, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 08:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm here to defend Streisand. She's okay by me.

― Bimble... (Bimble...), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 08:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, her music anyway.

― Bimble... (Bimble...), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 08:30 (twenty-one years ago)

But Linda Rondstat is better.

― Bimble... (Bimble...), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 08:32 (twenty-one years ago)

*ignores last three posts*

i believe it's called "bullying."

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 08:32 (twenty-one years ago)

But still I'll defend Streisand.

― Bimble... (Bimble...), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 08:33 (twenty-one years ago)

is there a rule against it Marcello?

― thagregman, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 08:51 (twenty-one years ago)

there is a difference between bullying and righting wrongs.

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 08:54 (twenty-one years ago)

ha! yes. sorry, meant in "rockcrit" (sic). do you not? or expand on righting wrongs...

― thagregman, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 08:59 (twenty-one years ago)

put it in a glengarry glen ross way:

"bullying" = alec baldwin's speech to the salesmen.

"righting wrongs" = al pacino's rant at kevin spacey's office manager, who he knows has not earned his job by means of his skills, abilities or knowledge but by other nefarious means (viz. "i don't care whose nephew you are! whose dick you sucked!" etc. etc.).

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

stephen wants to set up punching bags i believe. a canon of musicians we raise up as rubbish and kick kick kick to prove...what?

The question wasn't about righting wrongs OR bullying. It was no more than another stab at some sort of ilm demographic snapshot, from yet another angle, in addition to all the other angles already archived here over the years.

Oh... add John Farnham.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

30 Odd Foot of Grunts & Dogstar.

― Stephen Stockwell (Stephen Stockwell), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.