TS: Worst Lyricist: Chris Martin or Rivers Cuomo?

chris martin wrote songs like..yellow..

chris martin is worse. just because songs like tired of sex.

But I can't just say they're bad songwriters. They've written some of my favorite songs.

I don't mean to be mean, but how come when people get some major success no one really likes them anymore? I bet if coldplay were One-Hit-Wonders with "Yellow" then they just made those other albums with no success, you guys would be going crazy fo' dem.

As for Weezer: I think they're done, but I still like the first 2 albums (and "Maladroit").

As for an answer: I can't pick

But I am awful. I do not know this Rivers fellow but I am sure he is better than be. Everyone is better than me. That's why I had to steal from Echo & The Bunnymen.

The worst Chris Martin lyric I can think of:
You cut me down a tree
And brought it back to me
And that's what made me see
Where I was going wrong

You put me on a shelf
And kept me for yourself
I can only blame myself
You can only blame me

And I could write a song
A hundred miles long
Well that's where I belong
And you belong with me

And I could write it down
And spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
or swallowed in the sea

You put me on a line
And hung me out to dry
And darling, that's when I
decided to go see

You cut me down to size
And opened up my eyes
Made me realize
What I could not see

And I could write a book
The one they'll say that shook
The world and then it took
It took it back from me

I think Exhibit B is worse. Chris Martin has been peddling the whole I'm-a-nice-guy lyrical thing for such a length of time now that I suspect he's either extremely cynical or very, very stupid.

Give it all away
Give it all away

Oh, oh
Possibilities
Take you home with me
In your arms

I never thought I'd do that
Take me all the way
And let your body stay

Oh, oh
Take me by the hand
Let me be the man in your arms

I never thought I'd do that
Take me all the way
And let your body stay

Oh, you're gone
Oh, you're gone
You're gone, you're gone to stay

I never thought I'd do that
Take me all the way
And let your body stay

Oh, you're gone
Oh, you're gone
You're gone, you're gone to stay

Oh-oh, oh
Oh-oh, oh
Oh-oh, oh
I need you
I plead you now
Fall together, get up

Yeah, yeah, yeah

shackles and chains :: won't keep me away :: temple is you :: and my brow is insane

i wanna be just like you :: i wanna feel right through you :: i wanna see just with you :: i wanna live :: i wanna die you

thinning ice :: 14 hair dryers :: swimming to you :: flame on earth desire :: poor on the rise :: rich on the fall :: this cripple's with you :: fame is a whore

i wanna fit inside you :: i wanna room inside you :: if money talks i wanna buy you :: i wanna die :: i wanna die :: i wanna live you

i'm not scared of you :: could give up on drugs :: if i make it through :: the jaws of love :: jaws of love

you give

i am poison crazy lush :: built these hands to lift me up :: we are servants to our formulaic ways :: i'm screaming daisies :: from 14 miles away :: i've got my own time :: got it all today :: make up your mind :: i need some help :: to find this mind

limbo this and limbo that :: you were this and you were that :: ever know that what you fear is what you find :: this indian summer :: i signed my life away :: there's a greedy fly in here :: and i fly away

my future lies :: in space travel :: she's coming over me

they're burning the tenements :: topless progressive thinking :: political holes got 6 but pray for 7

my future lies :: in space travel :: she's coming over me i employ spies :: to stroll the gravel :: they never want to leave

my future lies :: i'm scared of the government

my future lies :: in space travel :: there's someone after me :: i employ spies in silver tassels :: they never seen that pleased :: my future lies

big cheese is all greed :: it's all relative what you needed :: happy birthday here's your nerve gas

all the fisherman and their families :: all sickly crumbling cerebellum :: it's all over for urang-a-tans :: looks like they're back on the street again

mistrusted, disruptive :: rape land :: and kill good habitat :: world weary, world broken :: well spent :: and money money money :: injected, transmuted :: 80 tons of mercury :: dumped in a bay :: it's breathing :: it puts the dog :: in the basket

all sickly :: growing sentimental

invaded, downgraded :: your bile lands :: right in my head :: uncalled for, unwanted :: my sinking zero tolerance

it's all over for urang-a-tans looks like they're back on the street again

we move
we break
the sun with shade

you come
we go
we're fast
we're slow

blood on your dress
hole in your sky
blanket is gone
permanent night

we're glued
we break
we all
dilate

we please
we pain
again

she checks her head
she's in the smoke
figuring which way to turn
now she's got a rope

oh
we need solutions
a brave megaphone
we need solutions
a brave megaphone

she's broken your shoes
you look like winter
you're all in a bruise
handful of splinters

we brood
we flake
we torch
we take

rebound
rebirth
cocoon

i could be wrong
i could be right
do you think we'll make it
out of here alive

[chorus]
oh
we need solutions
a brave megaphone
we need solutions
we got a common home

she makes me see god
i'm out on a line
anyway the pleasure comes

[chorus]

Is proof that the answer to this question is not Rivers...

Because too many people like them?

The popularization of mass education in the 19th century meant you had to be obscurantist and irrational in the 20th in order to distinguish yourself from "everybody else."

Quick, react to Pitchofork with an anti-Pitchrork statment (spelling: disaster!)! Immediately counter hype with cynical comments!

BTW: I will slaughter five children for the new Child Ballads album. Double black diamond!!!

I fucking seriously like milk. Dahls grocery is the best! Des Moines, IA wins!

You can really stop now:

American musician and singer-songwriter Scott Murphy from pop-punk band Allister and vocalist, guitarist and songwriter Rivers Cuomo from the Grammy award winning alternative rock band Weezer, have partnered up to release an extraordinary self-titled debut album, Scott & Rivers. Available now on iTunes, Scott & Rivers features twelve catchy pop-rock songs, which are almost entirely sung in the Japanese language, including the hit track “Homely Girl.”

I bet the translations will be an absolute riot.

As for the Chris Martin vs. Rivers Cuomo thing, I'd say Chris Martin was a worse lyricist... his lyrics tend to be a load of cliched empty stadium bluster nonsense strung together and masquerading as something 'deep' and 'profound'. If Chris Martin's lyrics were a snack, they would be a Pot Noodle. The problem with Rivers Cuomo is that he is more than capable of writing a decent lyric, he just chooses not to (which of course frustrates the hell out of some of his most loyal fans)... and lets face it, some of his dumber lyrics can be laugh-out-loud funny at the very least.

i dunno if rivers has still "got it" -- he was good at writing in the voice of a twentysomething slacker but it doesn't always make sense to write songs from that perspective when you are a forty year old millionaire or whatever. i mean, even then his schtick bordered on the contrived. still, he's a lot better than chris martin, whose faux profundity is a bit obnoxious.