Does 50 Cent do "Jazz Hands"?

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I don't know if this is true or not (can someone confirm?) but I'm clearing old e-mails I don't want to save, and so here's what my friend sent me (maybe this has already been discussed):

I always thought 50 Cent was pretty hardcore until I found out he performed at Long Island defense contractor David H. Brooks' daughter's bat mitzvah.

For his estimated $500,000, I hear that 50 Cent performed only four or five songs - and badly - though he did manage to work in the lyric, "Go shorty, it's your bat miztvah, we gonna party like it's your bat mitzvah."

At one point, I'm told, one of Fitty's beefy bodyguards blocked shots of his boss performing and batted down the kids' cameras, shouting "No pictures! No pictures!" - even preventing Brooks' personal videographers and photographers from capturing 50 Cent's bat-miztvah moment.

It doesn't matter how many times you've been shot and how many gangster rap albums you've sold, because the second you perform at a little girl's bat mitzvah you're automatically a lame little sissy girl. 50 Cent could've strangled a bear with his bare hands, but from now on he'll forever be remembered as that pansy who performed at some rich girl's bat mitzvah.

Now, I wouldn't call milking some idiot for a half million $$$$ the workings of a "sissy little girl", especially when you don't come close to trying to give them their money's worth, but at the same time you are kind of doing "Jazz Hands", which does knock down the street cred quite a bit, as well as any Black Power status.....

But only if this is true...

(I'm asking because to this stay I still can't decide if this guy's a phony or not)

― jsoulja (jsoulja), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

I'm asking because to this stay I still can't decide if this guy's a phony or not

Here, let me halp you...

― Dan (FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKITY FAKE FAKER FAKE Plus He Sucks) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:47 (twenty years ago)

Black Power status?

I'll jazz hands the fuck out of a bat mitzvah for like $75!

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:48 (twenty years ago)

I'd pay the 500,000 but only if it was for the Three Six Mafia.

― FFFF, Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

http://www.mediabuyerplanner.com/images/idiots.jpg

― GET EQUIPPED WITH BUBBLE LEAD (ex machina), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

hahahah a book on how to search the internet

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

what the hell did they fill that book with?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

I hope they put in a bunch of javascript injections that will cause search submissions to send you to http://www.whitehouse.com.

― Dan (Yay Founding Fathers) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

It's true. And not just Fiddy, either, he also got: Aerosmith, Tom Petty, Don Henley, Joe Walsh, Stevie Nicks, Ciara, and Kenny G (!).

― telephone thing, Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:57 (twenty years ago)

Also it's kind of funny that 50 Cent is doing this for a guy who made his fortune manufacturing bulletproof vests.

― telephone thing, Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

I really hope that Stevie Nicks, Ciara and Don Henley collaborated on a cover version of "Little Lies".

― Dan (Tell Me Tell Me Lies) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

Black Power status?
I'll jazz hands the fuck out of a bat mitzvah for like $75!

-- M@tt He1geson (matt@game[remove]informer.com), December 6th, 2005.

Yeah but that because you don't have $50 million dollars!

I'm thinking fake so far (as in I also don't respect this guy enough to begin with, so I'm not going to do an internet search to find out if this story is true or not- people here will know anyway).

― jsoulja (jsoulja), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:01 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I thought you were wondering if 50 CENT was fake or not. My Bad.

― Dan (Fiddy Gots Fake Tiddies) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:03 (twenty years ago)

This is really sad. Why do this? You have the money.

See, as far as I'm concerned, once you sell your credibility like this, your tough-rhymin' days are over.

― jsoulja (jsoulja), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

I was deeply moved by that story.

― Lame Little Sissy Girl (Drew Daniel), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

But did he finish the opening stanza with "we don't give a fuck it's not 'cha Bat Mitzvah"?

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

I think I had a dream last night about making fun of 50 Cent.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:28 (twenty years ago)

We must make that dream a reality.

― Dan (MLK Lives In Us All) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:34 (twenty years ago)

No Homo!

http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/upload/2005/12/50kisses.jpg

― jaxon (jaxon), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:39 (twenty years ago)

1. Jazz Hands - wtf?
2. Performer performs show for money = not cred how?

― jcartledge (jcartledge), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:52 (twenty years ago)

I really hope that Stevie Nicks, Ciara and Don Henley collaborated on a cover version of "Little Lies".

Oh come on now, they could at least do one of Stevie's songs...

― Myke Weiskopf (Myke Weiskopf), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

xpost
1. HOW DO I JAZZ HANDS (make them quiver real fast once in position)
http://files.rocketfish.net/files/macros/JazzHandsKitten.jpg

2. hmmmm, I thought I could brush this one away easier. Sounds right theoretically but completely amoral. You could also demolish your cred by secretly being paid at an officially non-profit gig (for a counter-example).

― blunt (blunt), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:24 (twenty years ago)

Ja did it.

― ianinportland (ianinportland), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:30 (twenty years ago)

for free.

― ianinportland (ianinportland), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:32 (twenty years ago)

OK, so it's like that old minstrel call in disguise. Sorry to be difficult, but doesn't the act of making cynical (ok, amoral if you like) business decisions reinforce 50's stance/cred i.e. stop-at-nothing hustler? (c.f. vitamin water)

― jcartledge (jcartledge), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:50 (twenty years ago)

Sure, it's that completely unnecessary Jewish vs. African American cultural friction that makes it sound weird isn't it ? Not the girl's age or her dad's "I'll-grab-anyone-I-want-with-truckloads-of-cash-me" 'tude.

― blunt (blunt), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:58 (twenty years ago)

WHAT ABOUT BROOKS' CRED?
http://judicial-inc.biz/War_pr20.jpg
The 50-year-old Brooks changed from a black-leather, metal-studded suit - accessorized with biker-chic necklace chains and diamonds from Chrome Hearts jewelers - into a hot-pink leather version of the same lovely outfit.

― jcartledge (jcartledge), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:10 (twenty years ago)

1. Jazz Hands - wtf?
2. Performer performs show for money = not cred how?
-- jcartledge (jcartledg...), December 6th, 2005.

Because of America's history w/r/t slavery and post-slavery attitudes towards African Americans (that sadly still continues to this day in certain areas and arenas), I think I'm being objective when I suggest it doesn't bode well for an African American performer who made his name off of breaking the law, hustling, and playing the part of a hard-ass gangster to reflect that lifestyle in his music and then follw it up with intimate performances to the children of wealthy white men who paid him to act (regardless of how much- again, he doesn't need it).

He obviously didn't want to do it and/or was embarrassed (hence the rushed, "no cameras" performance), leaving the only conclusion for it to be that 50 Cent can be bought by anyone, for a price. Not very O.G.

Remember Cube's follow-up to Easy E's political elbow rubbing?

"I never had dinner with the president!"

― jsoulja (jsoulja), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:16 (twenty years ago)

This didn't really strike a cord with me so much. It could have been a birthday party and I would have still thought WTF. Though I'm sure Professor Griff now thinks he's a big sell-out....

― jsoulja (jsoulja), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:20 (twenty years ago)

(xpost) I get that, but if you want to be a global brand you have to get a bit cuddly. If it burns off some hardcore crime/violence fans, I guess that's the price you pay so the kids of the world are actually allowed into your movie / to buy your xbox game / textbook covers etc. Taking cheques from a (alleged) union busting arms dealer seems a pretty good fit anyway, no?

― jcartledge (jcartledge), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:34 (twenty years ago)

xpost!
well I'm truly happy to be the only one seeing malice there.

― blunt (blunt), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

My friend just made the very good point that 50 should take this sucker's money, because since he's already been so far removed from his thug life past, for years now, it's not like there's cred to maintain anymore. At this stage he's probably doing the most thug thing he possibly can: taking every white fool for every penny they're worth by releasing albums that make their children want to talk trash, sell drugs, and shoot people.

― jsoulja (jsoulja), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:02 (twenty years ago)

I'm afraid your friend is of the malicious kind then :(

― blunt (blunt), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:05 (twenty years ago)

Then again, 50 is also a Republican. Another co-worker just reminded me of that.

Office poll results: 5 to 0 : 50 is a punk-ass sell-out doing jazz hands for the white man trying to keep his people down.

No respect. None.

― jsoulja (jsoulja), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:07 (twenty years ago)

I had forgotten about the whole Kanye West thing. That was just terrible and absurd.

― jsoulja (jsoulja), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:09 (twenty years ago)

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