Seeing live music by yourself: C/D?

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Definitely dud at times...

― xavier mcshane (xave), Sunday, 12 March 2006 00:36 (twenty years ago)

i do this all the time for work. you get used to it.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 12 March 2006 00:38 (twenty years ago)

Most of my friends aren't into the same music as me and i'd rather see a band I like than miss out just because i have noone to go with.

― Last Of The Famous International Pfunkboys (Kerr), Sunday, 12 March 2006 00:42 (twenty years ago)

same here, it happens

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Sunday, 12 March 2006 00:43 (twenty years ago)

I'm terrified of going to shows by myself, for some reason. I've only done it once, and that was to see Suicide/Pan Sonic because I just couldn't miss it. I had an okay time, but generally, DUD.

― Jena (JenaP), Sunday, 12 March 2006 00:46 (twenty years ago)

Got no problems with it, though by default I tend to go to shows with someone if only due to carlessness. Last time I went to a show solo was Bauhaus in December, had a great time.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 12 March 2006 00:46 (twenty years ago)

ugh, as a girl it can be AWFUL sometimes. seriously. one night alone at a show = a year's worth of pick-up attempts from creepy dudes. depending on the kind of music and club, of course.

― killy (baby lenin pin), Sunday, 12 March 2006 00:49 (twenty years ago)

I end up drinking way too much.

― jergins (jergins), Sunday, 12 March 2006 00:53 (twenty years ago)

I actually do this quite a bit. It can be a pain in the ass trying to coordinate a small group of people to go to a gig. If I'm really excited about a band then there's no way I'm staying at home just because nobody else will go with me.

(in fact, I am going to an Audion gig later tonight -- probably by myself)

― NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Sunday, 12 March 2006 00:59 (twenty years ago)

Sometimes it sucks to have no one to talk to inbetween bands, but in general, classic.

― A. Lingbert (A. Lingbert), Sunday, 12 March 2006 01:03 (twenty years ago)

I just did a quick count of the gigs I saw in 2005:

Total: 21
attended by myself: 15(!)

Whoa, that's more than I thought. The times when I went by myself but ran into people I knew at the gig were still counted toward "by myself", although there's a grey area there and those instances could just as easily not be counted.

― NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Sunday, 12 March 2006 01:10 (twenty years ago)

Depends a lot on the music, and the setting. Seeing Rufus Wainwright live in a seated venue? No prob. Seeing Dennis Brown amongst a enthusiastic, dancing crowd and having no one to smoke weed/look less awkward with? Dud.

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Sunday, 12 March 2006 01:14 (twenty years ago)

Especially classic (or dud) while traveling.

― blunt (blunt), Sunday, 12 March 2006 02:24 (twenty years ago)

As noted above, I think there are gender differences at play here, at least in the USA. As a guy, I have had some really amazing show experiences by myself. Usually I go local and there are folks I know, but occasionally I drive solo to see something. I don't recall ever feeling like I was missing out on the vibe b/c of not knowing the folks there.

The Animal Collective show I saw in Portland recently was all ages and seemed very mixed-gender and relaxed, I feel that this is more characteristic of all ages shows. I'm curious whether women's negative experiences are mostly in 21+ bar type environs.

― sleeve (sleeve), Sunday, 12 March 2006 02:34 (twenty years ago)

I have no problem with this at all.

― The Equator Lounge (Chris Barrus), Sunday, 12 March 2006 02:37 (twenty years ago)

I go to shows by myself sometimes and am used to it by now - I'd rather go to a show by myself than coerce friends who might not have a good time, making me distracted in a way. I'm quite content to hang out with my own thoughts btwn sets. Yeah, I've been hit on but also people have just been generally friendly - I've made long-term friends at shows even!

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Sunday, 12 March 2006 02:42 (twenty years ago)

i go to shows by myself the only part thats bad is between acts and you are standing there just chillin.

― charlie bucket (charlie bucket), Sunday, 12 March 2006 03:08 (twenty years ago)

I swear there were two threads on this already...

― Yoo Doo Nut (donut), Sunday, 12 March 2006 03:10 (twenty years ago)

I always go to shows by myself. It's not even an issue. Not having someone to chatter with in between can be occasionally lame, but I'm usually seeing someone I'm mad excited about, so who cares? I don't think I hardly ever get hit on at shows either. Bars and clubs on the other hand...gah.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Sunday, 12 March 2006 03:29 (twenty years ago)

i never get hit on at shows, what am i doing wrong? :,-(

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 12 March 2006 03:32 (twenty years ago)

do i need to dress skimpier?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 12 March 2006 03:43 (twenty years ago)

Start batting your eyelashes at everyone standing by themselves. That'll get 'em.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Sunday, 12 March 2006 03:50 (twenty years ago)

i used to do this all the time. less so now. is this possible to do without smoking at least five cigarettes? maxwells in hoboken and the middle east in cambridge are good for this due to the bar and restaurant next door. ive brought a book before for between sets but im not sure about it

― kephm (kephm), Sunday, 12 March 2006 04:05 (twenty years ago)

last spring i found out about a sold out show i wanted to see on the same day it was happening. so i searched the internet for a ticket for a couple hours, found one. went though phone/texting tag. drove to the gig early, found girl w/ticket in long line. then found out the main act wasnt coming on for another 3 hours. decided to kill time to go get some pizza at the end of the block, started walking in that direction and stopped into a 7-11, bought something and then just went to my car and drove home. it was like an issue of optic nerve or something. i've chalked it up to getting a really good parking spot and not knowing how to conduct myself without having to walk 15 blocks.

― kephm (kephm), Sunday, 12 March 2006 04:20 (twenty years ago)

sucks that your friends are too high to leave the house and go out with you..usually not too hard to make single-serve friends at the show...Nothing worse than missing a great show because no one will go with you, though. You gotta go, no matter

― ghost dong (Sonny A.), Sunday, 12 March 2006 05:23 (twenty years ago)

I'm more comfortable by myself.

― Jeff. (Jeff), Sunday, 12 March 2006 05:24 (twenty years ago)

I've never had any problems seeing a show by myself. Actually, I prefer it!

― van igloo (van smack), Sunday, 12 March 2006 05:29 (twenty years ago)

I'd rather go to a show by myself than coerce friends who might not have a good time, making me distracted in a way. I'm quite content to hang out with my own thoughts btwn sets
OTM.

i prefer seeing shows alone than with people who aren't as into the band as i am. mind, i only go to shows that i know i'll be into; if i was going to a lot of shows out of curiosity, i'd probably like to have a friend along to debrief with. i find good rock shows excellent venues for introspection and focus, and having a friend along, both us of feeling the oppressive need to chatter.. it kills the mood, y'know.

― derrick (derrick), Sunday, 12 March 2006 06:02 (twenty years ago)

While being alone at shows i was offerd twice a free bear by a bunch of guys who probably thought i was looking kinda lonely..:
both classic and dud at the same time i guess..

― sam the man, Sunday, 12 March 2006 06:47 (twenty years ago)

a free bear by a bunch of guys

Somehow I'm not surprised.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 12 March 2006 06:49 (twenty years ago)

hehe
crazyshit happens

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Sunday, 12 March 2006 06:58 (twenty years ago)

"Somehow I'm not surprised"

because...?

― sam the man, Sunday, 12 March 2006 06:59 (twenty years ago)

in my younger years, all alone and self-concious at gigs, i used to fill the dreadful downtime between sets by leaning in a corner and writing gibberish in a notebook brought 'specially, hoping to appear as if i meant something.

i see plenty people do this nowadays by using the ubiquitous 'phone fiddle' tactic. such shame in being alone, eh?

― {apal curtsy, Sunday, 12 March 2006 07:11 (twenty years ago)

jena, do you pronounce your name with a hard or soft "j"

i mean is it like "gina" or "yeena"?

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Sunday, 12 March 2006 07:28 (twenty years ago)

also i did this in paris all the time because i knew NO ONE. i would bring a book and pretend to read it during lulls in the shows...

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Sunday, 12 March 2006 07:29 (twenty years ago)

one time i tried to TALK TO THE PEOPLE FROM CONSTELLATION RECORDS and they were rude.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Sunday, 12 March 2006 07:30 (twenty years ago)

also

(1) yes smoking is key in these circumstances (also allows for the possibility that someone will ask you for a light and/or cigarette and you can thereby strike up conversation)

(2) yes, while travelling! sos you don't have to think to yourself, "why do i not know anyone here?"

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Sunday, 12 March 2006 07:31 (twenty years ago)

i don'tunderstand this stroy

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Sunday, 12 March 2006 07:33 (twenty years ago)

one night alone at a show = a year's worth of pick-up attempts from creepy dudes. depending on the kind of music and club, of course

And the type of girl (read: this never happens to me). I go alone out of necessity - sometimes I meet people I know there but usually if I want to go and see a show I get a ticket for myself and then wonder about who else is going - I don't have a bunch of people I would phone up and arrange to go and do stuff with.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 12 March 2006 08:24 (twenty years ago)

I don't know why I fear going to shows alone. I've done it ONE time in my life, to see Xiu Xiu...and it actually wasn't too bad. I brought music to listen to in between sets, so that generally made it okay. Still kinda awkward. Smoking wasn't an option in this venue, unfortunately. I think I'm slowly getting over the fear, though. I guess I'd rather go see a gig I really want to see than miss it completely. Plus, getting in most shows for free isn't all bad. But when you dont have a plus one, that can kinda suck.

― Fed-Ex Pope (D.J.), Sunday, 12 March 2006 08:29 (twenty years ago)

classic. it's not that rare that it's preferable to going with someone else.

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Sunday, 12 March 2006 08:29 (twenty years ago)

sometimes if there's something you really want to see you have to lie to everyone and tell them you're unavailable that evening, just to shake them off, so you can go on your own, otherwise you end up fucking around for four hours beforehand while everybody's getting their shit together (half of them eventually deciding they want to do something else) and you miss the fucking show, which really blows if you went through a lot of effort to get tickets.

― dave q (listerine), Sunday, 12 March 2006 09:09 (twenty years ago)

Amateurist, it's a soft 'J', as in 'Yena'. It's the name of a town in Germany. xxxxpost

― Jena (JenaP), Sunday, 12 March 2006 10:10 (twenty years ago)

is this possible to do without smoking at least five cigarettes?

― jergins (jergins), Sunday, 12 March 2006 10:24 (twenty years ago)

Amateurist, it's a soft 'J', as in 'Yena'. It's the name of a town in Germany.

ah yes, as in fichte's later jena wissenschaftlehre

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Sunday, 12 March 2006 10:52 (twenty years ago)

dud when everyone around you is pounding beers and you have to drive your sorry ass home after the show (see: any Drive-By Truckers show - 2 of the 3 shows I've been to by myself were DBT).

considering flying solo again though b/c Miranda Lambert's playing here next month and I'm pretty damn sure I won't be able to coerce any of my hipster friends or the missus into going.

― Josh Love (screamapillar), Sunday, 12 March 2006 12:20 (twenty years ago)

While I usually see if I can find a buddy for shows (and end up doing things like taking a not-too-metal female friend to High on Fire), being alone definitely does not affect my ability to enjoy the concert. I was alone when I saw TV on the Radio play a pretty small club, and it's still one of the best five shows I've seen.

― Sean Braudis (Sean Braudis), Sunday, 12 March 2006 15:20 (twenty years ago)

because...?

You might want to review your spelling in the original post, sam.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 12 March 2006 15:37 (twenty years ago)

I am terrified of seeing a show by myself also. On top of the common sense fear of it (boring with nobody to to, awkwardness, etc) there's also the fact that there are almost never shows here worth seeing. All the bands I'm interested stop by Asheville or Chapel Hill, both about 2 hours away, so I also have to come to terms with a 4 hour drive by myself. So far I've solved this by pretty much not going to any shows at all, and that is definitely a dud.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Sunday, 12 March 2006 16:16 (twenty years ago)

no problem ('o), o' no. wotsa'ver. no, really. 'onest, i do. NOT!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Sunday, 12 March 2006 16:22 (twenty years ago)

a year or so ago i was at a conference in chicago and went to see little brother by myself...the show was great, but as a canadian who had never been to chicago before, and very rarely gets down to that country down south, it was a little weird. i wanted someone to talk to. laughing at big pooh and fonte's jokes was coolish, but i wished someone else coulda shared. i have since made up for it by forcing friends to listen to "the story of U.S." and so when i think back to how great the concret was, i now have friends who get just how flipping hilarious those boys are.

― cybele (cybele), Sunday, 12 March 2006 16:43 (twenty years ago)

classic or dud is silly in this situation because it depends on the band, how much you like them, and what performance they give.
it'd be a dud if i was stuck with a ticket for a band i SORT OF liked that i bought because my friends (before they decided to bail) and i thought 'say! that sounds like a good show to have a good time at!' without them.
but some of the best shows i've seen i've seen alone and if a band is playing i want to see, i don't hesitate to get myself a ticket regardless of whether or not my friends can certainly go (or even want to).
sure it can be awkward and/or boring between sets and thats the bummer about going solo, but save up all your text messages to write during that time or something. reading is usually a lost cause with the poor lighting and people moving around and whatnot :(

― buyabiznatch, Sunday, 12 March 2006 17:11 (twenty years ago)

I got pretty realistic a long time ago about what kind of shows I can get away with dragging friends, which is a pretty small subset of all the shows I want to see, so I go to shows alone more often than not.

― Alex in Baltimore (Alex in Baltimore), Sunday, 12 March 2006 17:19 (twenty years ago)

the only really annoying thing about going to shows alone, especially in smaller venues, is that i'm there to actually, you know, listen to the music, so the constant bar chatter becomes even more oppressive, especially if it's quiet music.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 12 March 2006 17:23 (twenty years ago)

attn. baltimoreans: if you really want to do coke, plz go upstairs or to another bar without live music. you're even less interesting while flying, and the ostentatious flaring of nostrils is really played. luv, strongo.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 12 March 2006 17:26 (twenty years ago)

I find it's better to go solo if I'm there in 'journalist' mode, as I always have a notepad and pen and end up spending most of the show scribbling notes and impressions rather than really sharing the experience, as it were. On the other hand, it can be a nice way to help get my closest friends into shows with me for free, since they almost always give me a +1...

― Myke. (Myke Weiskopf), Sunday, 12 March 2006 17:40 (twenty years ago)

Definite dud when it has to happen, but the people here are friendly so I usually wind up finding a decent person or two to chat with between bands anyways.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 12 March 2006 17:43 (twenty years ago)

I do it, it's obviously not as fun, but I've enjoyed myself at times. If I'm covering the show, then I don't mind at all, it's just a job. It sounds geeky, but I like to bring something to read -- so if there is 40 minutes between bands or whatever I don't just stand there staring at people.

― Mark (MarkR), Sunday, 12 March 2006 17:47 (twenty years ago)

Honestly, depends on the show. If it's good, then whatever, I had fun. Doesn't matter if someone I know wasnt with me. That said, if it's a bad show, having a buddy along could make it considerably funner. Example being, Keane's set at Music Midtown last year. Talk about awful, but at least I had a few friends to help me survive it.

― Harrison Barr (Petar), Sunday, 12 March 2006 18:03 (twenty years ago)

I always loved going to shows on my own. A lot of expensive shows I'd see alone, my mum would buy me the ticket, stuff like Bob Dylan & Patti, Roger Waters, Tony Bennett, and a bunch of Nick Cave shows. But I also went to a lot of Cruel Sea, You Am I & Meanies shows on my own too.

For me the music was always so personal that I didn't want to drag someone along unless they really wanted to come. I always liked my own company for stuff like concerts, or movies. I kind of space out during shows, so I don't really look at it as a social event.

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 12 March 2006 20:05 (twenty years ago)

Going to see Stereolab in a hour....on my own (my wife has to get up early for work tomorrow [she "kinda" likes Stereolab, but has agreed to see the Books...who she doesn't really like that much...with me later in the week, mainly though for the venue and a chance to hang out in AnnArbor] and the singer in my band REALLY wanted to but she's just called me and says she's way too ill]).

I've avoided doing this for years, but I'd had enough with missing shows I wanna see just because no one else wanted to go. It's been such a positive experience for the most part, because of not having to worry about whether my friends are having enough of a good time (the shows are almost ALWAYS my idea). There are almost always acquaintances at the shows, but I can just enjoy the show on any level I wish.

― peepee (peepee), Monday, 13 March 2006 00:19 (twenty years ago)

haha yet another reason why I socialize at rap shows way more than rock shows: Baltimore's army of indie cokeheads.

― Alex in Baltimore (Alex in Baltimore), Monday, 13 March 2006 00:32 (twenty years ago)

http://www.turntablelab.com/images/content/1/7/174.jpg

― gritty sanskrit (sanskrit), Monday, 13 March 2006 01:35 (twenty years ago)

Going to gigs alone > going to gigs with mates who arebrn;t into it.

― I'm thinking six, six, six (noodle vague), Monday, 13 March 2006 01:36 (twenty years ago)

last week i dragged a friend who absolutely detests noise to see wolf eyes..he hated it but somehow i got him to go as i didnt really wanna make the trip alone.. i promised him we'd leave for white house as he said he wouldnt be able to handle the volume but then they cancelled anyways....

― Greydynwolfcow, Monday, 13 March 2006 01:51 (twenty years ago)

I didn't have a car in my college days, and I lived in a town (Houston) where it is essential to have some sort of motor vehicle to travel anywhere. So, I wound up dragging vehicle-owning friends to shows that they oftentimes didn't enjoy; this, in turn, limited my enjoyment of the shows. After this experience, I started going to shows by myself once I had my own car, and I've been doing it for the past decade or so. It's nice to have someone with me who appreciates the music (like when my friend from college and I caught the Donald Fagen tour in DC last Monday...), but otherwise I'm fine with going alone.

― John Fredland (jfredland), Monday, 13 March 2006 01:59 (twenty years ago)

Gigs on your own. Sad or Not sad?

Going to shows alone . . . classic or dud?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 13 March 2006 03:34 (twenty years ago)

I have no qualms going to a gig by myself - on some occasions its a preference!

― chris andrews (fraew), Monday, 13 March 2006 03:42 (twenty years ago)

http://www.turntablelab.com/images/content/1/7/174.jpg

-- gritty sanskrit (nutramentmik...), March 12th, 2006 8:35 PM.

hipsters doing coke /= hipsters thinking crack is hilarious

― Alex in Baltimore (Alex in Baltimore), Monday, 13 March 2006 04:12 (twenty years ago)

Going to gigs alone > going to gigs with mates who arebrn;t into it.
-- I'm thinking six, six, six (noodle_vagu...), March 12th, 2006 8:36 PM

OTM, wish I'd thought to say it that simply

― Alex in Baltimore (Alex in Baltimore), Monday, 13 March 2006 04:16 (twenty years ago)

Sometimes it sucks to have no one to talk to inbetween bands, but in general, classic.
-- A. Lingbert (alingber...), March 12th, 2006.

bring a book. i prefer something esoteric like adorno or derrida or debord or even meltzer's 'aesthetics of rock' 'cuz then you look cool. perhaps cooler than everyone else who need friends/witnesses to their coolness.

― Ben H (Ben H), Monday, 13 March 2006 05:48 (twenty years ago)

http://img376.imageshack.us/img376/4564/kds9eh.jpg

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Monday, 13 March 2006 06:59 (twenty years ago)

i always go to shows alone - can't stand having to organize a group of people. its like herding cats, i tell ya. even though i fly solo, i always run into people i know. its kind of a given at this point. and if i dont, i have book to read [though i prefer magazines].

― mts (theoreticalgirl), Monday, 13 March 2006 08:47 (twenty years ago)

Taking a book to a gig? Not sure about that one. I think I would check the cover to see if it was Catcher in The Rye.

I go occasionally by myself but tend to drink more (esp. at place i work where i drink on the cheap) so lose focus so better if i go with others who slow me down a bit.

― uptoeleven (uptoeleven), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 04:07 (twenty years ago)

i definately prefer going by myself. my friends just don't care for anything i listen to. i did drag tehem with me a couple of times but they ruin my whole meditative experience, im just too in love with the music i'm seeing to talk during a show

― rizzx (rizzx), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 10:23 (twenty years ago)

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