I need to get 1500 words out of a worse case scenario interview, and I have no idea how. Please help!

sarcastic, insulting piece is the way to go!

I feel like this is one of those cases where my personal experience with the band and trying to get the interview is more interesting than anything I could say about the band. It was a rather eventful evening even outside of all the stuff with the interview.

don't do it. those stories are never interesting.

Yeah, I'm aware of that, and I'm not seriously considering doing it. It would, however, be a nice way to fill in those 1500 words.

Well, I don't know ANYTHING about writing for magazines but I think you should put your elaborate questions with his short uninformative answers, all of them I mean. And I think it's sort of funny how "Shagrath had a fever". Not laugh out loud funny but sort of funny. So you could tell a little bit about that. And then I'm not sure how many words you will have left, but... well.

Prescient photograph:

http://www.nuclearblast.de/coppermine/albums/studio/normal_1.Shagrath-booklet_klein.jpg

Just tell your editor a picture is worth a thousand words.

Was that really, really helpful?

Write a big introduction aboutDimmuborgir. Then find some connection between the volcanoes and the band (other than the name, obviously). Mention his fever and the dedication he puts into his work. You can then transition into a band history and end with the quote, "we don't give a fuck what other people think."

I always wondered where they got their name from! I guess the Internet knows everything.

don't do it. those stories are never interesting.

au contraire. so many interviews are boring and trite; just write about what happened.

Wikipedia has the answer to everything.

Oh, and please don't mention yourself in the piece; that is, unless your story is eons more interesting than how you just framed it (unprepared journalist tales are all the same, right?)

Well, I did get to wait outside for an hour for someone to get me, only to discover that I was in the wrong place (not anyone's fault, just miscommunication; their idea of "the front" was different than mine, apparently). And I got to go to the after party and listen to Brendon Small (Metalocalypse)'s girlfriend (who is apparently a professional violinist named Emilie Autumn) talk about tea with the Nuclear Blast publicity lady. So I don't know if that's interesting, but it was certainly a unique experience.

If it makes you feel any better, throughout this entire year, I've worked hard trying to set up an email interview with an ex-boy band member (who shall remain anonymous). A few weeks ago--the day before we went to press--I finally received it. He replied to only half of the questions, and every answer was one dull sentence (e.g. "They were cool; it was fun.").

As the interview was for a templated Q&A column, I ended up printing the entire interview word for word. Uh, can't get much worse than that, right?

He was prepared. The band were a bunch of jerks. I say go with the personal narrative. Just make sure the writing itself is crisp and tight.

Yeah, if you're writing is fun to read, that could work.

Doesn't this just prove, once again, that if you're going to interview somebody you should have some mind-bending drugs at the ready so that you can easily slip into a little gonzo journalism?

and by you're, I mean your, obv.

Advice from someone who just recently wrote 1000 words about Dimmu Borgir: explain the concept of the album and talk about what it sounds like, relative to their other work, in some detail. That's 2-400 words right there. Talk about the difficulties with equipment, unresponsive interviewee, etc., without using first person - do it ultra-formal, third person, using "a journalist" in place of "I" like you were writing for the "Talk Of The Town" section of the New Yorker. That's probably another 3-400 words right there. Describe their fans (you were either at the signing, or the show - your post was unclear) and describe what they're like live. That's another 300 words or so. You're up to 1100 already, if you're stretching and getting really descriptive. Fill the rest with boilerplate discussion of how their bombastic music has been polarizing the black metal community for years, and toss in the not-giving-a-fuck quote. The end.

I wasn't at the signing. Hell if I'm going to go to hot topic in Hollywood on a Thursday afternoon just to stare at Black metal nerds. There were some interesting people at the show, though. I mean, apparently Corp.'s paint isn't hard-core enough for some people. There were these two guys at the front of the line that had bloody gore effect makeup on that made it look like their cheek was ripped open and they had bullet holes in their forehead. A lot of effort to go stand in a dark auditorium, but pretty entertaining to see.

I think it's sort of funny how "Shagrath had a fever". Not laugh out loud funny but sort of funny.

I lol'd.

(corpse, that should be)

unperson/sfj did you get your hard drive fixed?

(and man, that's an ugly sentence. I will try to write it better than that in the actual piece.)

The next extreme metal figure to diversify into electronic music should call him or herself "Corp.'s"

BTW, here's how one of my fellow student journalists would start the story: "Dimmu Borgir has a fever, and it's not for more cowbell. No, it's a 200 degree, scratchy throat, skip-school fever. But oddly enough, when the bell rings, Borgir's in his seat, kicking ass and taking names like the black metal badass he is."

That's actually pretty funny, although I would wear gore makeup to a black metal show before I used the "more cowbell" thing in anything I wrote.

"but not of the cat-scratch induced variety"

"possibly even exceeding 103"

"With his 103 fever, Dimmu Borgir confirms what many black metal fans have hoped for years: Rocking Out Makes You Seriously ILL."

Well, I did get to wait outside for an hour for someone to get me, only to discover that I was in the wrong place (not anyone's fault, just miscommunication; their idea of "the front" was different than mine, apparently). And I got to go to the after party and listen to Brendon Small (Metalocalypse)'s girlfriend (who is apparently a professional violinist named Emilie Autumn) talk about tea with the Nuclear Blast publicity lady. So I don't know if that's interesting, but it was certainly a unique experience.

-- Jeff Treppel, Friday, June 1, 2007 12:14 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

No offense, but I fell asleep halfway through this post! Don't try to fill more than a very small amount of space with this story.

it reads like a story about arthur dent minus this conclusion: "And then I switched dimensions and all the colors in the dressing room were reversed."

unperson/sfj did you get your hard drive fixed?

unperson != sfj

I'm not going to put that story in there. I realize it's incredibly boring. That's why I put it in here!

ned ragget/sfj did you get your hd fixed?

you spent some time w/the guy, correct? potentially that's worth more than 10,000 words transmitted via phone or email. and it seems like you are familiar w/the music in question so exercise yr descriptive power and construct a narrative rather than "transitioning" quote to quote.

don't do it. those stories are never interesting.

not necessarily. going into the nuts & bolts of being a journalist and yr discussions w/press agents, etc, = very boring. but there must be stuff you can glean from what he was like that would make for a good piece, the details, his demeanour. there's got to be stuff there.