The Four Word Curse (A Metal Observation)

theory is full of wholes. Between the Buried and Me are totally great (not "metalcore") & also there's no "the" in Dillinger Escape Plan, who are pretty good too.

How does this theory explain In The Nightside Eclipse, Under A Funeral Moon and Battles In The Norrrth?

they suck now. there is only ONE og member from the first (good) album! they are all new jock dudes and make music like incubus. also there is a THE:

http://www.newburycomics.com/images/bmh/BU/103-702971NEWBU.jpg

To refute chaki:

http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/dillinger-escape-plan.jpg

album art trumps poster, u r pwn3d

that's a nice album cover. although i wonder if anyone bought it thinking it was some kinda autechure type thing?

true

On the other hand, I just checked and am astonished that I have not a single 4-word-band in my two-thousandish-numbering CD collection. You might be onto something here...

the new Dillinger album is incredible, Every Time I Die brings it every time, Between The Buried And Me has put out some OK stuff, Attack Of The Killer Bs is Anthrax's best album, you are silly.

Interesting theory, but totally misses the boat on Megadeth.

Whiney, you lose me at "Every Time I Die brings it every time"

Most of the time? They have been known to bring it.

Everytime Chaki Brings It

LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT THE FIRST DILLINGER ALBUM HAD A "THE"

http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/165/dillingervi1.jpg

(the) plot thickens!!!

thats why this thread got quiet, chaki was GISing

yah that takes me a long time to figure out.

The Four Word Curse Part 2: This Thing Goes Deeper Than I Thought

Anyone: I need an example of ONE FUCKING metal band that has more than 3 words in their name that doesn’t suck. I don’t think there are any. Metalcore is not allowed and Deathcore hasn’t returned a verdict yet....
Further examples: More bands that broke the 3 word rule and began sucking...
Iron Maiden "The Number Of The Beast" (let’s be honest here, the first 2 were the best. Paul DiAnno kicks ass.)
Carcass "Necroticism: Descanting The Insalubrious" (good album, but it’s their "...And Justice for All".)
Cryptopsy "...And Then You’ll Beg"
Manowar "Sign Of The Hammer" (never heard of it? I’m not surprised.)
Kreator "Out of The Dark And Into The Light"
King Diamond "Abigail II: The Revenge" (solo career only)
Accept "Balls To The Wall"

Glaring exception: Judas Priest. It was like by giving their first album, "Sad Wings Of Destiny", a 4 word title, they safeguarded the future of the band. All later material rules. With Halford, at least.

Points of interest: Black Sabbath has never put out a studio album with more than 3 words in the title, even during that terrible phase with Ian Gillan, Glenn Hughes, and Bobby Rondanelli in the late 80’s and early 90’s. Admittedly, "Black Sabbath Vol. 4" is debatable, but I think the band’s name in the title shouldn’t count.
Deep Purple was undoubtably at their best in the Mark II phase with Ian Gillan. They put out 2 albums before his arrival that were in no way metal. The Mark II lineup released "Machine Head", "In Rock", and "Fireball", all sweet metal albums, but guess what they titled their first release with sissy vocalist David Coverdale (later of Whitesnake)? That’s right, "Who Do We Think We Are?". Indeed.

Bands that I speculate will soon put out a shitty album with a 4 word title: Mastodon ("Call of the Mastodon" has the band’s name in it, mind you, plus it was only an EP), Saviours, Necrophagist (I hope I’m wrong...).

i like dianno but cmon dude maiden did NOT start sucking at all until way later.

i agree that was a bit of an exaggeration.

Metallica - Load (of stinking bullshit)

You lost me when you implied Through Silver In Blood sucks

^^^
this

The Megadeth thing sort of works if you're like me and you think Rust in Peace and Countdown to Extinction are better than the earlier ones (with the long titles), but all the shitty modern stuff has 1-2 word titles.

Attack Of The Killer Bs is Anthrax's best album

their best album was also their most pretentious: Persistence of Time.

anyway, to me metal guys with long titles are sort of like bald guys with sports cars, or former professional athletes mis-using four syllable words.

attack of the killer b's is NOT anthrax's best album by a long shot.

Carcass "Necroticism: Descanting The Insalubrious" (good album, but it’s their "...And Justice for All".)

This suggests that Heartwork is their Black Album, about which I must disagree. It has more hooks and trad structures than their earlier stuff, sure, but it's still metal through and through. And it's brilliant.

I do think a short, sharp band name is very metal, insofar as it is direct and to the point. Most great metal bands have short names. However, short names are usually taken these days. Perhaps that's why we have the incredible expanding four-word band name phenomenon. Actually, The Incredible Expanding Four Word Band Name Phenomenon is probably playing at SxSW right now.

So your argt is that a four-word album title spells suckitude? You are posing!

Don't Break the Oath
Take As Needed for Pain & In the Name of Suffering
Ad Majorem Sathanas Gloriam
Sons of Northern Darkness
Det som Engang Var & Hviss Lyset Tar Oss
The Erosion of Sanity

These are not just decent metal albums they are stone classics!

I have an as-yet-not-fully-developed theory about that: It's called the Priest Axiom. It runs as follows: Sometimes, a metal band can escape the Four Word Curse by putting out a really awesome 4 word album really early in their career. This ensures that they will somehow always remain rad, but is risky nonetheless.

Examples:
Suffocation "Effigy of the Forgotten", Nile "Amongst The Catacombs Of Nephren-Kaa", Napalm Death "From Enslavement To Obliteration", Mercyful Fate "Don't Break The Oath", 3 Inches of Blood "Battlecry Under A Wintersun" (so far so good...), Morbid Angel "Blessed Are The Sick", Cannibal Corpse "Eaten Back To Life", Bolt Thrower "In Battle There Is No Law". All these bands still kick ass and will continue to do so because they beat the Four Word Curse.

I think your theory is "it's kind of common for modern metal bands to have four word names and i'm old and don't like many of them."

If Black Metal counts, chaki's theory is put to sleep.

Weighing Souls With Sand was one of the best albums of 2007. But I'm not sure shoegazer metal counts here.

Does Grave In The Sky count? Scott Seward loves them

Maiden obviously started sucking after SSOASS.

lol Whiney I'd watch who you call old, I feel like I been seein' your byline for several minutes now!!

Ha, I'm certainly no spring chicken! But I always try to find some good in the stuff all the damn kids are listening to. I went to A Taste Of Chaos for Revolver this year and I'd be lying if I didn't say Bullet For My Valentine certainly impressed me.

And one-word band Atreyu filled me with a rage I can barely contain.

I'm gonna change all the names of bands I don't like to four-word names just to help chaki's theory along

Atreyu of the Spirit is my first one

Total Hatebreed of the Night

Darkest Hour of the Soul

Vampire Weekend For A Thirsty Vampire

fucking LOL'd

I think my theory is that a one of two word band name is METAAAAAAL. However, when it comes to album titles, it's entirely the reverse: a four word album title is HAILSWORTHY indeed.

More research is necessary to determine why this relationship holds.

Who says the verdict isn't out on death core? They're the ones that started with the sentence names, and they all pretty much suck (if Chaki can generalize, so can I).

So what's the earliest example of a sentence metal band name? Who started this?

I guess Today Is The Day

Whose awesomeness proves your theory is SHIT

Maybe the problem with the four word band names (Dillinger Escape Plan excluded) is that, in complete ignorance of what they actually sound like, I would have guessed they were all gothy versions of Black Tape for a Blue Girl.

you know, just on hunch I'll say that sentence band name = band sucks with Today Is The Day providing yr classic exception-proving-the-rule

The Teardrop Explodes stood out, back in the day, as a rather elaborate and long-winded band name.

I also don't think Dillinger Escape Plan fits into this scenario considering that name is more like Steel Pole Bathtub or something

I also don't think Dillinger Escape Plan are metal. They're indie.

*ducks*

my arms, your hearse is classic

I enjoy chaki's music criticism.

Iron Maiden "The Number Of The Beast" (let’s be honest here, the first 2 were the best. Paul DiAnno kicks ass.)

^this is a little exaggeration, but they never got better than killers imo

Glaring exception: Judas Priest. It was like by giving their first album, "Sad Wings Of Destiny", a 4 word title, they safeguarded the future of the band.

^this is wrong, rocka rolla was first jp album

Big Brother and the Holding Company
George Brigman and Split
Dick Destiny and the Highway Kings
Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods
Hapshash and the Colored Coat
Ted Nugent and the Amboy Dukes
Peter and the Test Tube Babies
Prince and the Revolution
Teenage Jesus and the Jerks
Neil Young and Crazy Horse

...have all made good, somewhat metal-sounding records, but are generally not considered "metal bands" (well, except for Ted Nugent and the Amboy Dukes maybe, depending on who you ask), plus they all have "and the" in their names so they probably don't count.

Therefore, I nominate these:

Rocket From The Tombs
Sensational Alex Harvey Band

Titles:

If You Want Blood You've Got It
In Hearing Of Atomic Rooster
Love It To Death
Where The Women Wear The Glory and the Men Wear The Pants
On Through the Night
Free Your Mind...And Your Ass Will Follow
Featuring the Human Hose and the Heavy Metal Kids
Hall of the Mountain Grill
Axis: Bold As Love
Gretchen Goes To Nebraska
In Through The Out Door
Blackout In The Red Room
Who Will Save The World?
No Sleep Til Hammersmith
In Too Much Too Soon
Look What The Cat Dragged In
A Night At The Opera
Teen Babes From Monsanto
Never Mind the Bullocks, Here's the Sex Pistols
Women and Children First
Under The Blood Red Lava Lamp
They Only Come Out At Night
Over Under Sideways Down

Some of which probably aren't really metal, and some of which probably actually stink. But some don't.

(Human Host and the Heavy Metal Kid, duh.

But the idea of a Human Hose is pretty funny.)

(And hey, at least I didn't nominate Something Bitchin' This Way Comes, though maybe I should have.)

call me crazy but I think chuck's definition of metal is a wee bit broader than chaki's

four word band names (Dillinger Escape Plan excluded)

I also don't think Dillinger Escape Plan fits into this scenario considering that name is more like Steel Pole Bathtub or something

I also don't think Dillinger Escape Plan are metal. They're indie.

Also, "Dillinger Escape Plan" is only three words.

George Brigman and Split
Neil Young and Crazy Horse

Do not have "and the" in their names, only "and".

Recent long-name metal is harder, though, I admit...Are The Sins Of The Beloved any good?

"transcendence into the peripheral"

disembowelment were wordy fucks.

'dance of december souls'
'turn loose the swans'

classics, pray you

"but guess what they titled their first release with sissy vocalist David Coverdale (later of Whitesnake)? That’s right, "Who Do We Think We Are?". Indeed."

WDWTWA is a Gillan album. First Coverdale album was "Burn" which kicked ass.

Anybody hating on Number of the Beast of Vol. 4 is not a metal fan in any way.

that should read ".. Beast or Vol. 4"

I am not a metal fan in any way, obviously. (Though I do like "Supernaut.")

Four-word bands (none of whom I've ever heard) reviewed in the newest issue of Decibel:

Lair of the Minotaur (new album gets an 8)
Legion of the Damned (new album also gets an 8)
Wrath of the Weak (another 8)

"_____ of the _____ " bands must be big this year.

The Four Word Curse Part 3: My Soapbox Is Made Of Rice Paper

OK, so upon further rumination, I have come to the conclusion as follows:
There are at least 3 good metal bands with names over 3 words. I was wrong. They are: 3 Inches Of Blood, Lair of the Minotaur, and Wolves In The Throne Room. My suggestions for alternate band names to uphold my theory, in sequential order: Low Blood Sugar, Manotaur, Throne of Wolves.
So nevermind about all that.

Wrath Of The Weak is pretty good

Angels In The Outfield

i was so wrong so much

where does lordi figure in this theory?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdItwaLrv1U

I don't know, what do you rocken?

Lordi are not very metal now are they?

CHAKI U MAD

lordi destroy puny theories with big rockalypse monster metal!

all while performing their eurovision award winning, delightful style of pop rock.

not like I'm a lordi fan or anything... they're just inexplicable.

but they're total retro metal. they're like ratt or grim reaper or helix or kick axe.

I mean, hair metal is still metal.

nah.

choose one:

A) DEATH TO FALSE MEDDLE
B) DEATH TO FALSE MEDAL
C) DEATH TO FALSE METTLE

lordi videos are lulz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkw4jhDE1eQ

OMG LORDI MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJFCgg7qK1k