Most Rubbish Insults/Threats In Rap Songs

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That N*E*R*D single was on the radio today, and I distinctly heard them threaten to 'make you cry'.

Once upon a time, they had guns. Now, they have Chinese burns. Hmmmm....

Mr Swygart, Tuesday, 23 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Look no further than Tim Dog's early-1990s Penicillin on Wax for some of the most ham-fisted insults in rap history. He uses "I'ma fax that ass!" alone at least three or four times.

Actually, a lot of old-school threats seem pretty tame now. It may have been once been intimidating to hear Ice-T proclaim "I die harder than Bruce Willis," for instance. Now it just sounds silly compared to the violent threats rappers have since issued.

mike, Tuesday, 23 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'Petty Heads' from the new Cex alb. has tons of these. Revenge, suburban style.

"In the magazine aisle of the 7-11 / filling out subscription cards with your name and address / and if I see you on the street I ain't beneath name-calling / keep a copy of your eight grade picture in my wallet / I steal your raps and read 'em in a sarcastic voice / talk shit under your name on Internet message boards / trust me dog you don't want this wrath / Cex so immature I need an eyepatch"

It's actually kind of great...

Mark, Tuesday, 23 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's actually very great.

LL Cool J's "I'm so bad I can suck my own dick" springs to mind here.

J Blount, Tuesday, 23 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Especially since pretty well anyone can do that

dave q, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

what, suck LL's dick

unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

sorry that was a really lanme post

unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

uh i was just trying to demonstrate lameness in action

unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'you're gonna run like a little big rabbit...'

eh ?

scholy d. 'am i black enough for ya ? '

piscesboy, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Not a threat per se, but I always thought that the alarming assertion postulated by The Fugees - namely that they were "defecating on your microphone" was particularly disturbing.

Microkomputer, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ha ha that reminds me of that line about "what's that in yr drawers, ahh human feces", ha ha what other kind would it be?

unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Small Faeces?

Microkomputer, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mr T on "Mr T's Commandments". He goes on about honouring your mummy & daddy, then says: "The Bible makes it clear. If you don't follow the rules You have MR T to fear!"

Lek Dukagjin, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

MR T == God.

Lord Custos III, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Beastie Boys reduced myself and a friend to hapless hysterics with "I'm gonna stir-fry you in my WOK"!!! Oh no Mr Beastie Boy, NOT THE BLACK BEAN SAUCE!!!!

Sarah, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I love this thread. Two more:

* "You shouldn't be so damn material/And try to milk Ice Cube like cereal!" -NWA * "Like Elvis said, we're gonna win this race!" -Wee Papa Girl Rappers or Cookie Crew, one of those bands. Was there a bigger faux pas in '80s rap than comparing oneself to Elvis?

mike, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

gareth, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"I'll be the witch and you'll be the broom/I'll ride you/guide you into the concrete/I'll slide you to a funky beat" - BDP, "Ya Slippin'" (on the other hand there IS that dope-ass "Smoke On the Water" sample...)

Nate Patrin, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Is that a threat or a come-on?

Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

a few years ago my friend found a cd on the sidewalk: "a to the d" by the renegade jew (he's coming after you!). basically sounds like a middle-aged tough from bensonhurst having a tourettic attack over some generic casio beats. at one point he instructs haters to "suck a spacesuit fa

lauren, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i suddenly want this very badly.

Dave M., Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ghostface: "you hot horny fuck from out the mountains" !! sounds GRATE!

Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"From Out the Mountains"!!

J Blount, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Doesn't count, but Up Middle Finger.

B-Rad, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Not quite rubbish, but this closing bit from Del the Funky Homosapien's "Signature Slogans" always makes me laugh: "I'll boot you in the cerebellum and make your brain come out your nostrils..." (pause) "Asshole."

Nate Patrin, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i really enjoyed that tom green show where he had shit on his mic and was interviewing people

Ron, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"LIke ELvis said, we're gonna win this race" - isn't that referring to an Eddie Murphy routine from the time? (The one where he belches during "My Way" and - the funny part!!! - EXCUSES himself)

dave q, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

this is kind of off the topic, but has anyone noticed how in 'i'm your man' george michael says, 'all i want is for you to be there, when i'm turned on, if you want me'? all he had to say was 'all i want is for you to be there', surely, the rest is implied?

maryann, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

<<"LIke ELvis said, we're gonna win this race" - isn't that referring to an Eddie Murphy routine from the time? (The one where he belches during "My Way" and - the funny part!!! - EXCUSES himself)>>

Yeah, but it still comes off as kind of lame in this particular lite- rap song. Maybe they should have tried working "lemonade, that cool refreshing drink" into the song instead. :) I can think of two other Eddie Murphy rap references: Apache had a song called "Kill De White People," and the Coup called an album "Kill My Landlord."

mike, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Rakim is the all-time most threatening MC out there...

"After 12, I'm worse than a gremlin, Feed me hip-hop, and I start tremblin'..."

Anyway, I'm off for a nice big plate of fish (which is my favourite dish)

Nick, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"quick to the point/to the point no fakin'/cooking mcs/like a pound of bacon" - this shit is too cold

dbini, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"So if you're at a show, and you're in the front you/I'm 'a call you a bitch, or a dirty-ass ho" -MC Ren

John Darnielle, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think we should talk more about how GRATE the new Cex thing is.

Mark, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"i'm a tempest, i'm joustin, i'm centi-fuckin-pede! / i'm invadin ya space, ace, i think you better leave!"

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 30 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

that last one I made up, btw

Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 31 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...
It's "Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer"
And the rest can go and play

Run along MC Hammer, run along.
Funny ass thread :)

Wilk Meister, Monday, 23 September 2002 15:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Heck, just the album title "Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em" is ridiculous. Oh, please, Hammer, we beg of you, don't hurt the other rappers with your rhymes!

Mike Appelstein (mike a), Monday, 23 September 2002 15:41 (twenty-three years ago)


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