I Hate Student Concepts of Alcohol

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"Oh man, I just did a whole bottle of wine before I came out".

Did you. Did you now? No, you didn't. You drank Blossom Hill, or some shit, which isn't so much wine as Ribena mixed with Meths. Firstly: you're a cunt. Secondly: a bottle of wine? Wow, hardcore. Someone call Ollie Reed and Alex Higgins and tell them a new gun's in town. I mean, wow, that's a good 12 units of alcohol there. The equivalent of four pints of premium strength lager. 4 whole pints of Stella! Imagine that! 4 whole pints of Stella, I doubt there's a pub in the world that has that much alcohol in.

Flavoured vodkas- no. Just... no. The point of vodka is that it tastes shit and gets you drunk. The point of it isn't to have your own fucking 2003 equivalent of a Sodastream party, seeing what different flavours are available.

WKD, Reef, Baccadri Breezer- you can just about get away with drinking these if you're a gay man with a well developed concept of irony. Otherwise, you really should send yourself to a gas chamber.

"Ah, man, I got so drunk". You were out five hours. You cannot get "so drunk" in five hours unless you were intravenously injecting grappa. You had, like, 8 bottles of Becks or some other shit, and then groped your ex-girlfriend, got slapped, and came home to listen to Nightmares On Wax, or some other shitty student band.

Look- admit it: you are a lightweight. Here's a picture of the world's greatest lightweight boxer, Floyd Mayweather.

http://sportsmed.starwave.com/media/box/2001/1110/photo/a_mayweather_ht.jpg

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 21:21 (twenty-three years ago)

And he can drink more then any damn student prob

Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 20 March 2003 00:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Floyd Mayweather would just be all up in some shitty student nightclub, with, like, "Teenage Dirtbag" playing, and he'd just start housing student motherfuckers with jabs and hooks. He'd lay some serious smackdown on any damn rugby player using straws to drink alcopops.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:51 (twenty-three years ago)

i cant drink ANYTHING! i am the biggest lightweight around. hey it's cheaper to get drunk at least...

rebekah (rebekah), Thursday, 20 March 2003 04:45 (twenty-three years ago)

i enjoy you.

webber (webber), Thursday, 20 March 2003 05:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm a lightweight and proud to admit it, give me a can of "Steel Reserve" or any other piss water you have handy, and I'll be so wasted, even guys will start to look good!

Lola Falana, Thursday, 20 March 2003 05:22 (twenty-three years ago)

it has been brought to my attention that my post was ambiguous, so i would like to make it clear i was expressing my affection for the starter of this thread

webber (webber), Thursday, 20 March 2003 09:47 (twenty-three years ago)

This is my favourite ILX thread ever, to be honest.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 20 March 2003 12:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...
I'm not really sure why your bitching about flavoured vodkas and the like. As far as i'm concerend if theres alcohol in it im gonna drink it. When i was in grade 7 i was a lightweight to but times have changed and hey! i dont hang out with 7th gragers anyway.

bmarshall (bmarshall), Monday, 12 May 2003 21:48 (twenty-three years ago)

four years pass...

^^lulz

W4LTER, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 04:28 (eighteen years ago)

i hate students

Heave Ho, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 14:16 (eighteen years ago)

except for final year students

Heave Ho, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 14:17 (eighteen years ago)

i can get drunk in less than five hours.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Sunday, 21 October 2007 23:13 (eighteen years ago)

7th gragers

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 22 October 2007 23:44 (eighteen years ago)


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