Schizopolis

this is a movie i really want to show to all my friends because quoting its many, many, many priceless lines myself is no fun.

"i may vote republican, but i'm a firm believer in gum control."

"Y'know, there was a time... there was a time when I felt like an old rag with a stain you couldn't get out, and you... you were like a piece of rotting fruit on a window sill. And it was great."

Newswoman: "The federal government announced today that in an effort to eradicate the national debt, it will be selling the state of Rhode Island to a group of private investors, for a reported $18 billion. The investors plan to enclose the entire state with an all-weather roof, and turn it into the world's largest shopping mall. When asked for comment, a White House spokesperson would only say, 'Well, at least we didn't sell it to the fucking Japanese.' "

Fletcher Munson : Hello!
Neighbor: Hello.
Fletcher Munson : How are you?
Neighbor: Fine.
Fletcher Munson : Is your wife coming over tonight? Because her big ass always leaves me satisfied.
Neighbor: Nice of you to mention her. She enjoys sex with you much more than she does with me.
Fletcher Munson : I'm sure she says that to all the men in the neighborhood.
Neighbor: You may be right about that one.
Fletcher Munson : I'll see you later.
Neighbor: Okay.

"Dear attractive woman number 2, only once in my life have I responded to a person the way I've responded to you, but I've forgotten when it was or even if it was in fact me that responded. I may not know much, but I know that the wind sings your name endlessly, although with a slight lisp that makes it difficult to understand if I'm standing near an air conditioner. I know that your hair sits atop your head as though it could sit nowhere else. I know that your figure would make a sculptor cast aside his tools, injuring his assistant who was looking out the window instead of paying attention. I know that your lips are as full as that sexy french model's that I desperately want to fuck. I know that if for an instant I could have you lie next to me, or on top of me, or sit on me, or stand over me and shake, then I would be the happiest man in my pants. I know all of this, and yet you do not know me. Change your life; accept my love. Or, at least let me pay you to accept it."

Oh, I should stop....

dear god that last one is so fucking classic it hurts. so. much. laughter (on my part).

i briefly became obsessed with the idea of leaving elmo oxygen-esque voicemail messages on friends' phones, but never went through with it.

I really want to see this film! I don't think I'll have the luxury of seeing a 355mm print anytime soon, but how is the Criterion version?

criterion's disc is great. there's two commentary tracks, one with cast and crew, and the other is soderbergh interviewing himself. and i think some other stuff too. totally essential.

I finally saw "Schizopolis" this weekend--I have a new found respect for Soderberg now. What an incredibly funny & daring film: it's like the bastard child of Jean-Luc Godard and Woody Allen.