ANGRY AT WORK!?!?!?! Little things that make you want to SCREAM!

She shook her head as if to say, "Uh UH!" and said, "I don't think that's it." (As if she oughta know!)

I said, "It's not a matter or opinion."

She said, "ExCUSE ME?" I thought she was going to snap her fingers.

I tried very delicately to explain to her that people copy and email me script errors all day long because that's what they see when the form fails, and that it's a problem on our end and not theirs, but she wasn't hearing it. I disrespected her, and it doesn't matter that she doesn't even know what a script is.

Very frustrating.

So much anger!

I got very angry last week because my boss put my most important file under a plate of biscuits. Through idiocy, not mischief.

two girls went on a complete rant about it this morning, and every person that walks in the door keeps asking me 'oh, aren't they putting windows in?' 'ah, i thought it would be smaller, why isn't it?' 'why isn't that plug in the other room?' and i want to scream! i finally shouted at someone saying 'i don't know! i'm sick of everyone asking me and whinging to me about it! i know nothing about it! ask the crew, or our director, or anyone but me!'

grrrr.

didn't you mean to say "It's not a matter of opinion?"

Two weeks ago, we had a delivery of ten new cupboards, one for each person in the office. Lockable cupboards. This is where I keep my confidential information. Where the fuck does she keep hers and why does she not care about the cleaners who come through every night when nobody's here being able to put their hands on this information?

Fun hater.

http://www.neverland-valley.com/neverland-valley/video-clips/videos/08_history/scream/pix/scream_072.jpg

http://www.lequotidienducinema.com/seriestv/cannon/cannon3.jpg

LITTLE money, like?

The thing is, I sent out an e-mail about this very 'mistake' TWO WEEKS AGO - I was the one who first spotted it.

This appears to be a continuing problem.

I guess you can tell I was bored at work today.

You know there are some jobs where you do have to be prepared to work outside office hours - for some reason or other I've ended up in one of them. As a PA it's not an issue 99% of the time; but if/when I move up, it will be, whether I like it or not.

(Anyone got any good calming techniques?)

I should do this myself really, I am NEVER comfortable and am probably doing everything wrong, posture-wise.

To be honest I have a pretty good ergonomic chair and a great workspace--I can't fault the company with regards to looking after employees. I tend to get muscle pain etc a lot anyway--it's probably my really crappy diet/lack of exercise/general apathy in reality.

When I tell you that the super-hot-slammin'-jammin' update to your DAW software that YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE has only just been announced, I mean that it's JUST BEEN ANNOUNCED. Just because it's all over their website does NOT mean it's shipping yet. No, we don't have an ETA yet. I can't even confirm a retail price just yet because THE SITE UPDATE JUST WENT LIVE.

I did NOT say that I would or could not put you on the waiting list. If you had NOT jumped down my throat I would have simply told you that I am reluctant to order a program that technically does not exist yet. So please don't get snarky with me and say, "Oh, no, you don't have to look into it for it me, I'm sure your competitor will be happy to get the business!", because if WE can't get the goddamned program then NEITHER CAN THEY.

Love,

Tantrum

P.S. You buy a lot of stuff here and are normally a cool person to deal with. In fact I usually quite enjoy talking with you. So why on earth were you such an asshat hothead today?????!!!!!

NO! We are still here! Although we all witnessed what sounded like death cries just hours ago. Fuck you bosses!

Not only that, but they are always futzing with the mail system on the weekends, and sometimes I don't get all the e-mail that is sent to me. Then, certain instructors get all mad because "I'm the only person they know whose mail disappears on a regular basis." Well that's because I'm the only one at that server who gets e-mail from them. The sysadmin even admitted there was a problem with stuff getting lost (voice mail vanishes as well, or shows up a day late), and this prof is intimating that I flush his e-mail on purpose.

This is so true. Though my major work problem is general discomfort, tiredness and the knowledge that I am not acheiving much. Glandular fever sucks

Half an hour into the working day and I've lost my shit.

We have a hot-desking policy at work, meaning that officially no one has their own workstation and people are free to move about at will. Of course hardly anyone does; it's much more practical to stay in your own seat on a day-to-day basis. People have their things, scattered or piled liberally around their desks, because hey, it's a workspace and we all spend 7 or 8 hours a day sitting there.

So a couple of weeks ago, I turn up to find my manager sitting at my usual desk. Of course I'm forced to gather up my work and find somewhere else to sit, so I go and sit at someone else's desk who is on holiday. I don't complain of course, because it's a hotdesking policy. Still, it's a massive inconvenience, and since this happened I've had to move desk every two days.

It doesn't help that every time I sit at someone else's desk, I'm accused of moving things I haven't moved, or messing things up that I haven't messed up, or changing the settings on a chair, or somethign equally petty.

The day my manager moved to my seat, she made an example of me, pointing out that I had "papers and a cereal bowl" on my desk. Maybe had I been given a chance, I'd have moved these; and big whoop, she obviously hadn't looked at anyone else's desk because they're far worse.

She's not in today, so I go back to my old desk - piles of paper, business cards, things piled all over the floor; and next thing my colleague is bleating at me about whether I'd "stolen" his headset.

I just got very cross and unnecessarily sweary. Great start to the day! So, yeah just ranting.

I've been in pretty much the exact same situation. Get your CV out there and find a new job. I think your manager is trying to get rid of you, by a) making work conditions so intolerable that you quit, b) causing your job performance to drop so that she has an excuse to make you redundant, c) causing you to lose your temper so that she has a reason to fire you. The big clue is that your manager is making you obey a petty rule that is not enforced on anyone else. It's not worth talking with your manager about this, because then she'll turn your job into a menial hellscape. Same for talking to HR, because your manager will just deny it.

BTW when you get another job and leave your current employer, insist on an exit interview with HR, and explain the reason for your departure.

^ this. Been there, done that.

Well, I hope the motive isn't as sinister as snoball says and that it's just my boss being a wally. FTR, It's not my boss accusing me of moving/stealing things, it's my colleagues, who can be a bit precious from time to time, but not in a nasty way. I think I'm just having one of those days where if anyone messes with me, they risk a frosty reply.

perfect timing:

when the ISCO sampler doesn't have holes in it and the ice melts before the rain gauge is triggered making the empty sample bottles float to the top to be pushed around by the distributor arm rendering them TOTALLY USELESS.

so

I'm now in the position of yknow needing to bite my tongue at work cos boss and example and etc

but obv there's more stress than previously, plus managing ppl is tough, (like rly tough!) as I've gone from the feckless guy in the corner mouthing off about everything to having thirty odd staff

I've been swallowing it when ppl have vented at me, and taken the hit a few times when I've felt criticism was unwarranted, unconstructive, whatever.

I think I've felt that I've gotten the balance mostly right so far but a few times of late there's one or two that seem to not feel the need to moderate tone, content or attitude in any way when they have an issue to raise- the guff im taking now as a new manager i would've sawn a fucker in half for if they'd spoken to me that way as my own boss or peer.

can't find an ilx mgmt thread, how and when is it OK to show when I'm pissed off, or what experience do ppl have in pulling someone aside and enforcing a standard of respect or w/e without being that guy that is all "respect the boss's authority" kind of thing?

in general how do you do "angry" at work (from either position)

oh boy, i have one particular team member...

my take on it as a general rule is pretty straightforward - i almost never get directly agitated at work because the shit that comes down from above is laughable and i generally like or sympathize with the people i manage.

imo throwing your temper about at work is unacceptable and unprofessional and i will tell people that if they're making others unhappy/uncomfortable. if you're passionate, maaaan, then save it for someplace more important than work and don't make the day any more unpleasant than it has to be.

that said, i've had people i manage getting a bit shouty with me, usually as part of some low-key disciplinary discussion - but it's me! i'm not Attila the Hun! if me having an adult convo with you about subpar conduct is rage-inducing then i'm gonna say you're the one with serious issues - anyway, when that happens it doesn't bother me too much cos i know some people react poorly to stress and some people get stressed over not much. kind of unwritten rule, i will tolerate little meltdowns one to one as long as we come out of them and the message has gone in.

so my general rule, as it aligns with the work rules, is "don't be a cunt and don't make other people feel bad". i can deal with that from a position of calm, cos i've got mad people skills lol - tho obv you maintain calm by making sure you have "difficult conversations" *cough* at a time and place of your choosing. and if somebody wants to make a show of themselves in public then we will go and talk about that in private and i will tell them it's not going to be ok.

if shit gets real bad, then i guess you have to go thru the disciplinary procedure. but since our place gives bottom tier management grunts not much in the way of back-up, i try hard to ensure shit doesn't get real bad

(NB most of the people i manage are pretty chill on the whole and i'm not going to get worked up about low impact slacking etc)

as a new manager my feeling is make it clear what you will and wont put up with

if a person is not checking their tone & being unprofessional expressing their ire, tell them so, privately. and give them the opportunity to restate their case more respectfully

this aint no goddamn zoo, you cant just fling poo and think everyone will dealwithit.gif

or nv otm

imo throwing your temper about at work is unacceptable and unprofessional

This is the key point. If you've got someone being angry with you, you have to say something like: "I'm going to have to ask you to discuss this more calmly....if you can't do that now, we'll have to do this later when you are capable of it".

You should never lose your temper yourself. This is a key senior management skill. It doesn't mean senior management doesn't get angry; it just means all the fighting and arguments get carried out behind the scenes - sometimes ruthless feuding for days at a time.

good thread. I'm going to be co-managing a team in a few months. I've also gone from being most junior to manager. We won't have the problem of proper mouthing off as it's a bunch of nice (but likely passive-agressive) introverts - ha. I'm kind of glad I don't really know half the team as they've joined since I've been off.
The thing that stuck with me when given management advice is you can't be their best friend. This was particularly true when we were a team of women who all got on really well and did a fair bit outside of work - I could see the difference in dynamic when one became manager.

That's general good advice whether you're a manager or not: your coworkers are not your friends. One place I used to work was mostly people the same age, who would hang out with each other after work all the time. It was basically impossible to promote one of them to be a manager. It was tried a couple of times, but we always had to fall back on bringing someone unknown in from outside.
My current employer has a real 'no aggression' approach to management, perhaps bordering on passive-aggressive and certainly I often wish people would just come out with their grievances (albeit at least calmly). But it was definitely a contributing factor in a manager being let go recently. He wasn't even what I would call aggressive, just someone who would publicly stand his ground and take no shit. In other places I've worked he would have been seen as a serious proactive hard driving get-shit-done manager, but his approach was a bit too rich for the senior management team here.

I was once managed by someone completely wrongheaded in that respect - she wanted everyone to be friends, including her, and I was accused of not being a team player because I didn't want to go for girlie pub nights on a Friday after work (like, seriously? fuck off, I have my own friends) and was actually told off in front of the rest of the team for going for a coffee with one colleague and not inviting everyone else (we were discussing an exit strategy, ha!).

Oh, and when I told her I needed some time off due to mental health issues she started "oh, you think you've got it bad, well...." and went on about how the decorator hadn't finished her kitchen yet and her dad wouldn't take her dog for a walk that evening when she was meant to be going out.

So basically, don't be her and you'll be fine.

thks guys all good stuff worth pondering

I've one other guy at my level, his advice was "every three months fuck a full cup of tea at the far wall during a meeting. never say why"

ahaha I am enjoying imagining the reaction if I did that.

uh just read ailsa's again and uh wtf jesus wow that's not how to do it

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/55966813.jpg

i occasionally wonder if i'm stifling people's natural emotional expressiveness from a position of chill privilege but tbh fuck that we work at v. close quarters with our customer base and we're supposed to set an example

yeah v similar tbh s'why I wanted yr steer especially, so thanks.

grand it'd be fine for me to say do what thou wilt shall be the the of the law but yknow we pay widows their pensions so if I've to be beholden to anyone it'll be them and not the pretty comfortable public servants

imma be in here a good bit I think

fuckin fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Ok so there's this feature on recent version of outlook that I just can't fucking get over -- when you search your inbox for a term it gives you supposedly "recent" results, only it doesn't remind you that it's doing this, and you only notice it if you scroll all the way to the bottom and see the "showing recent results" message and the "more" link.

WHAT IN THE FUCKING FUCK! WHO CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA THAT I ONLY WANT TO SEARCH *SOME* OF MY INBOX, LIKE I'D JUST LIKE TO SEE A FUCKING SAMPLER PLATTER OF EMAILS THAT HAVE THE TERM AND DON'T PARTICULARLY CARE ABOUT DOING AN EXHAUSTIVE SEARCH TO FIND WHAT I'M ACTUALLY FUCKING LOOKING FOR?!?!

^^^^ in Postbox too, only it tells you it's doing it, only I don't want it to, only I can't turn it off.

man alive that has irritated the CRAP out of me too
half-arsed piece of crap

oh I thought my mail was doing that for my-work-specific reasons, but it pissed me off too, and now I know it does it to everyone for NO reason it annoys me even more

it's particularly annoying when you change your search term slightly and have to scroll down and reload the extra results AGAIN, and hey why not AGAIN if you need to change it again, etc

At my work if you do a search and delete, copy, or move a message from the search results it re-runs the search from scratch.

And our Outlook webmail threads emails pretty strictly by subject.

My boss and I have gotten emails with identical subjects from different people, which Outlook lumped into a single thread, resulting in privileged messages going to the wrong people. Or somebody accidentally adds a space in a subject line and creates a whole new thread.

And I'm angry at work about it.

outlook webmail is maddening

Bosses who send you morning emails that just say "Please see me when you get in" in the subject line and nothing else

19/20 times it's just "here's a small project"
20/20 times I am on the subway thinking "oh shit, what if I am fired"

oof at ur 5% sacking rate tbh

not really a little thing but why is it so hard to convince ppl to spend play money on good ideas?

got into work on friday to find my locker (and 35 others) gone. no note or anything. luckily a there was a bloke with a clipboard wandering around (some distance away) and he said they'd all been moved, spread around the rest of the floor. (i found it eventually)

later that afternoon we all got an email saying that our lockers would be moved and that they'd tell us where they had moved to in a later email. how you'd read this email when your laptop was locked in a locker you couldn't find is a bit of a mystery (and the second email was never sent)

this morning the kitchen where all the lockers had been was boarded up, including the fridges where people still had food. luckily a workman let me in. unluckily the fridges had been turned off since friday...

(and despite telling hr all my details, p45 etc, several times, i recently got a "0T X" tax code from hmrc...)

The best thing about emergency tax codes is in two years time when they send you the rebate check and you do a little jig for ten seconds before realising that it's not free money, just your money that they've been holding onto.