I need a good excuse why i'm missing work on Wednesday for an interview

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it's a full day interview.

i'm thinking food poisoning?

― YOU ALMOST STABBED YOURSELF IN THE FACE LIKE A HULKAMANIAC (jaxon), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:03 (twenty years ago)

Jury duty.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:06 (twenty years ago)

Ankle sprain. Wednesday night, whack yr. ankle with a 7-iron so you're actually limping on Thursday.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:06 (twenty years ago)

Doctor's appointment.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

Also, it's less suspicious if you don't miss the whole day. Just leave early.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

Food poisoning lasts a few days no? Maybe if you put red dots with lipstick on your face the day after will make it more believable?

― nathalie, a bum like you (stevie nixed), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

Otherwise, the non-specific 'family emergency' also works sometimes.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

anal fissures

― Fiddledy Dee, Monday, 26 September 2005 16:08 (twenty years ago)

Food poisoning. Nobody ever inquires too deeply into a dose of the shits.

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:08 (twenty years ago)

I tend to just say I have got a job interview. Its not against the law.

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:08 (twenty years ago)

Tell them you fell in the tub and tore yourself a new asshole.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

med appt.

yeah, show up & leave early.

― kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

I tend to just say I have got a job interview. Its not against the law.

What? No, of course it's not against the law, but it's not the most brilliant thing to tell your employer you're looking for a new job, though. Suppose you don't get one?

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:10 (twenty years ago)

I was going to say ~~anal fissures~~ family emergency as well.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

Suppose you don't get one?

Then you can potentially use the fact that you're looking for a new job to blackmail your current employer into raising your salary or letting you do the work you really want to do.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, if there's any possibility of you wanting to stay for more money/better work. But sometimes you just need OUT.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:14 (twenty years ago)

there are situations where you wouldnt want your boss to know you were looking. say if there was a promotion but they wanted it for someone who was dedicated to the company. then you wouldnt want him knowing you wanted something else because he would be hesitant to give you the promotion

― ponypoop (ponypoop), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:16 (twenty years ago)

You guys don't know how to work your jobs very well.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:16 (twenty years ago)

im sorry mr elegant black ghost but i am VERY GOOD at my job thank you very much

― ponypoop (ponypoop), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

You also don't seem to be very good at reading comprehension.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

what else does -how to work my job very well- mean?

― ponypoop (ponypoop), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:19 (twenty years ago)

"work your jobs" = great reading comprehension; created a second meaning you didn't know existed.

― Pooperhead, Monday, 26 September 2005 16:20 (twenty years ago)

You don't know how to manipulate a "tricky" professional situation into favorable results very well, ie the not-very-subtle difference between "working" and "working your job".

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

oh you mean WORK your job like WORK IT like missy elliott. im sorry, i understand. i do not play games with jobs, i am just a good worker i think and i hope that will always be enough. i know it is not always very sophisticated of me

― ponypoop (ponypoop), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:23 (twenty years ago)

You can go very far by being good at your job! I strongly recommend learning how to work the system as well, because people who can do both are completely unstoppable.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

i can't show up and leave early, the interview lasts the whole day and is 45 minutes away.

also, i work in a small two person company now, so there might be some talking and quizing afterwards.

― YOU ALMOST STABBED YOURSELF IN THE FACE LIKE A HULKAMANIAC (jaxon), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

Agorophobia

― dan m (OutDatWay), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

I remember when that new coworker of mine let drop what pay rate she was hired at — can you say "how to get a $2/hr raise in ten minutes with zero effort"? Whatta maroon.

And it's not a game to know how to avoid being held down and fucked by The Man every day.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

but it's not the most brilliant thing to tell your employer you're looking for a new job, though

i never understand this either. you want to leave, they find out, what they going to do, make you redundant? i think its a very good idea to make it obvious you are looking. *speaking loudly, in order to be overheard*, "wow, the pay in these jobs is so much better than here", "really, i think i might have a look too, theres a few, you say", "yes, definitely, i think steve and lucy might be interested as well", "haha, definitely, it would be kind of cool if we all got in!"

― terry lennox. (gareth), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:28 (twenty years ago)

It's Monday, you had the mussels at dinner, bad mussel (seafood on Mondays bad idea but you forgot this), therefore you spent midnight-2am hurling and now have a headache, nausea and the shheeyites. You will see them tomorrow.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

i never understand this either. you want to leave, they find out, what they going to do, make you redundant?

In U.S. states with no right-to-work law, that's exactly what could happen, with the possibility of no unemployment benefit, no nothin', just kicked to the curb. (xpost)

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:30 (twenty years ago)

You were attacked by dolphins with guns, as in Armed dolphins loose and roaming Gulf of Mexico?.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:31 (twenty years ago)

"Personal Reasons", followed by "OK, it's menstrual cramps."

Followed by "burning urethra, if you must know."

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

Root canal.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:33 (twenty years ago)

If Jaxon can get away with that one, he needs to go into yacht sales, something with big commissions. (xpost)

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:34 (twenty years ago)

ok i am new here and not sure how much personal things to say, but black ghost maybe you can help explain to me what i should do in my situation. i work for a small college in clerical capacity helping students with health benefits. i explain to them what benefits they are and where they can get service and so on. recently i was offered an other job at the college, which involves mostly writing to new students by mail. it pays more money by almost twice. but i am not good at writing in english (you can see) and i do not like writing, i like helping people to their face. so i plan to say no to the new job. should i say something to my supervisor, that i was offered this? i dont think she can give me a lot more money because there are other people in my same position and we are in a union.

― ponypoop (ponypoop), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:35 (twenty years ago)

In U.S. states with no right-to-work law, that's exactly what could happen, with the possibility of no unemployment benefit, no nothin', just kicked to the curb. (xpost)

Exactly. The way I was hired, essentially as contract work for all legal intents and purposes, my boss could do anything he wanted to me. I could be out of a job for any reason, or no reason. I don't need to add "disloyalty" to my current work troubles.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:35 (twenty years ago)

do what suzy said and take 2 days off for good measure!

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

1. apartment flooded
2. apartment robbed, police there now, might make it in later, not sure
3. blood is coming out of your eye, en route to hospital, not sure whats happening
4. emergency dental treatment
5. coughing up blood, wife going to drive you to hospital, as you feel faint when you stand, really worried
6. been arrested (mistaken identity of course)
7. appointment with IRS, or some unspecified govt agency, as you've been landed with a $225,000 tax bill, and you've finally managed to break through the wall of bureacracy and actually set up a meeting with someone
8. written off car, just dealing with authorities now, think everythings ok, but just getting checked out
9. possible pancreatic infection, you had thought that had gone away, but you have to be on the safe side, especially considering how long you were out last time
10. migraine, cant actually see (if set up properly, this is a good recurring one)

― terry lennox. (gareth), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:37 (twenty years ago)

what's the problem with calling off sick? do you have to explain exactly what's wrong with you? just say "i'm sick, i'm not coming in" and elaborate only if they ask the next day, when you come back.

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:39 (twenty years ago)

Say you have a friend/relative visiting from out of town and that's the only day they'll be here and you wanted to show them around.

― o. nate (onate), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:39 (twenty years ago)

Tell them you got an e-mail from a guy your cousin knows who said it would be a bad idea to show up for work and that all Muslims were getting the e-mail.

― Jimmy Mod Loves Alan Canseco (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

you cant say that onate unless you ask very far in advance, you will sound like flake and poor planner. that is like calling and saying -there is something good on television today, i will watch this and not come to work-

― ponypoop (ponypoop), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

Contracted something particularly nasty at the Love Parade/Folsom Street Fair.

This allows for a nice 2-3 day incubation period.

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

Well, you could always blame it on your 'friend/relative' - say that they changed their plans at the last minute.

xpost

― o. nate (onate), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:42 (twenty years ago)

Email:

"Hey dudes,

As you probably already know, I'm not at work today. I'm really torn. Check out this link for an explanation:

I need a good excuse why i'm missing work on Wednesday for an interview

Love,
YOU ALMOST STABBED YOURSELF IN THE FACE LIKE A HULKAMANIAC

P.S. - Can you print our a few copies of my resume? I'll send it in another email. I'll swing by an grab em, kthxbros."

― kurt broder (dr g), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:43 (twenty years ago)

gygax, otm as usual!

― ~~~~ DODONGO DISLIKES SMOKE ~~~~ (ex machina), Monday, 26 September 2005 16:47 (twenty years ago)

migrane might work as i've had one here at work before. could tell him i woke up, threw up, everything was too bright and i need to stay in bed

― YOU ALMOST STABBED YOURSELF IN THE FACE LIKE A HULKAMANIAC (jaxon), Monday, 26 September 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

you drunk

― kurt broder (dr g), Monday, 26 September 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

maybe your excuse can be that you almost stabbed yourself in the face like a hulkamaniac?

― kurt broder (dr g), Monday, 26 September 2005 17:31 (twenty years ago)

make sure that on tuesday you are noticeably 'ill', frequent trips to toilet etc, and leave an hour or so early saying you need to lie down

― terry lennox. (gareth), Monday, 26 September 2005 17:55 (twenty years ago)

Terry korrekt. Eat nothing spicy on the Tuesday while you're at it.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 26 September 2005 17:57 (twenty years ago)

Listen closely, the best excuse ever to get out of work is:

"I have to go to the clinic."

NOBODY will inquire further because they don't want to know. Plus, they'll immediately want you out of their immediate proximity.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 26 September 2005 18:01 (twenty years ago)

I remember when that new coworker of mine let drop what pay rate she was hired at

this can get you in major trouble/fired at u.s. companies...

― kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 26 September 2005 18:06 (twenty years ago)

This was a U.S. company. She went even further up Shit Creek with the mgt. than she already was (her basic incompetence had already been revealed) because the other two hourly employees in the department had to be given biggish raises to pacify us.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 26 September 2005 19:03 (twenty years ago)

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