Literary Turn-Ons

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A companion thread. What ONE book (or film or album I guess) would make you want to make the beast with two backs/have a deep and meaningful relationship (delete according to personal habit) with its owner if you saw it in their collection?

― Archel, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

New 'wow is that No Logo?' answers.

― Archel, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

miffy does it doggystyle

― mark s, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Kant vs. Hegel: FITE!

― Aimless, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

_My Goodness, That Dan Is A Hunky Pile Of Manflesh! I Must Invite Halle Berry And Thandie Newton Over For A Wet T-Shirt Pillow Fight With Us._

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

heh my GRATE MATE tez at work became my grate mate cos we were all talking about books in the pub and we both said "infinite jest" at the same time. i am also impressed if boys have any virginia woolf on their bookshelves. and if anyone had Malory i'd be really impressed.

― katie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My cousin Natasha is a dead ringer for Thandie Newton, but she is only 18.

― Anna, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think the whole premise for this thread comes under the heading of Things I Would Never Do. The thought of saying 'ooh gosh are you really into X book / film / album too, let's make mad passionate love' is unimaginable.

― Emma, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(nb emma tez and i did not make ahem passionate love upon the discovery of etc etc! i too doubt that the existence of a book on a bookshelf ALONE would lead to the bonking)

― katie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But Emma, you like Evil Dead II == we are soul mates.

― Alan T, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not even sure how to answer my own question, probably because I am not nearly SHALLOW enough to judge people by their bookshelves haha...

But Raymond Carver would certainly be a good start.

― Archel, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I suppose this thread is suggesting that when you get round to their house you are desperate for something to talk about (a bad sign) so a mutual like for a book/record seen whilst snooping through their collection might help reescue the situation.

Seeing a tin of Spam in their kitchen cupboard though, or a large selection of cheeses in their fridge (or even better laid out in anticipation), plus a well stocked drinks cabinet would be more of a turn on. These are people with their priorities right. Food>boox.

― Pete, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(i keep leaving off creepy wink emoticon)

― Alan T, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Pete: start the thread then.

― Alan T, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I would say if you have someone like Ambrose Bierce or Dorothy Parker or the like in your collection -- hell, even Juvenal -- that I think you have a certain something. :-)

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If there's anything it'll have to be Life, A User's Manual. And she would have to have liked it. And then for late-night sleepy pillow-babbling we could just list and describe all of the furniture in the room together. (I thought I was kidding at first but this is beginning to sound lovely.)

― nabisco, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(Err if I sound mental to anyone: Georges Perec, Life, ect., consists largely of lists and descriptions of furniture and objects in rooms throughout an apartment building.)

― nabisco, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

. . . I would say Mishima, but if someone REALLY REALLY MEANS IT¹ about liking Mishima, I/they wouldn't be interested.

& I have to say I've gotten on rather well with people who've said "What, you loathe/despise The Catcher In The Rye too?"

¹Ess Kay division of REALLY REALLY MEANING IT, obv.

― Ess Kay, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mm, he wrote La Disparition, didn't he?

― Archel, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Er Perec not Mishima ;)

― Archel, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

do you mean la dissipation archel or am i wrong? the one with no "e"s in it (he must have been really bummed when he came to sign it, hahahaha) i have that but haven't read it yet. is it good?

― katie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

nope archel is correct! apologies!

― katie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"La Disparition" (published in English as "A Void") is a bit of a bumpy read in English but something of a feat of translation nevertheless. No idea how it reads in French, because I'm not good enough at French.

He also wrote a short story, "The Exeter Text" in which the only vowel he used was e. I love Georges Perec.

Finding a copy of "Life A User's Manual" in someone's fridge would be more or less irresistable I think.

― Tim, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I haven't read it. The English translation is called 'A Void' I think? I just found out that he also wrote the longest palindrome ever apparently, so am definitely inspired to learn more about him :)

― Archel, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Damn you slow typing fingers.

― Archel, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes Archel do. "A Void" probably not the best place to start for reason outlined above. "Life A Users Manual" is brilliant genius though, I think.

― Tim, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness" "Daredevil no: 257" "Hit's of the 80's"

― jel --, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Probably some hardcore geeky sci-fi like Asimov or 'Hyperion'.

― Jordan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh good GOD Ess Kay ABSOLUTELY: Mishima's Patriotism is simultaneously the most beautiful and the most utterly and completely misguided and just WRONG text in human history, and I would without doubt or compunction FLEE IMMEDIATELY from anyone who professed to, like, really like it. (Unless they, like, didn't understand it but liked the plot or something, in which case still.)

― nabisco, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh but yeah, I think I would in fact be quite turned on by a girl who appreciates that austere physical/sensual aspect to Mishima's stuff in general.

― nabisco, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I went over to someone's house on a date once and noticed that she had the Fall's _Dragnet_ in her CD player. Subsequently, I married her.

― Douglas, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There was something more to it, surely.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Book: Gertrude Stein: Everybody's Autobiography The Film: Meet The Feebles The TV Show: The Prisoner The Album: Xpresssway Pile-up

― brg30, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ha, FictionUSA as ad'd on PFork.

― david h(0wie), Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Perec suggestions are good ones (and we should credit Gilbert Adair for what I thought were terrific translations of A Void and The Exeter Text), and almost anything postmodernist would do me - Abish's Alphabetical Africa is the perfect companion to A Void, for instance. But actually I find it hard to imagine a single book doing it for me - but a combination could. If I saw Dick, Wodehouse and Coover on someone's shelves, I would happily marry them without hesitation*.

*A gross exaggeration. Probably.

― Martin Skidmore, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Frank O Hara

― anthony, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

salo

― Bob Zemko, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

OGDEN NASH!!

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You know what, I think I'd melt for a big collection of glossy books on mountain climbing. Not so much the biographical stuff ('My Ascent of K2') but the kind just with stunning photos and route guides. Or Walking with Wainright. Or just a big pile of O/S maps. I like a man with lofty ambitions, dexterity of limbs, and a *plan*. Me, I'm incapable of planning a trip that involves anything longer than a two hour train ride.

― Ellie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm not so interested in what books they have, rather if they can actually have an intelligent discussion about them. although if i met a girl with a copy of Trout Mask Replica, i'd need a convincing reason why *i shouldn't* marry them immediately.

― Dave M., Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This is the only way in which I would ever fall for a guy who reminded me of my dad. But one book wouldn't do it, there'd have to be shelves of them.

― Maria, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ummm, "Doktor Glass", some obscure existentialist, kierkegaardian novella written by a Swedish whose name I cannot spell. I read it (in Spanish) about 8 years ago totally by chance and got hooked. Last year, some reputated (aka large number of sales on their shoulders) authors recommended each one obscure book and Margaret Atwood, whom I cannot generally stand, chose this particular one.

Conclusion: definitely, the idea of jumping into Atwood's arms would never, never, never cross my mind, and the fact that I am heterosexual and she is a woman does not really count. Therefore, the chances of meaningful relations arising from shared literary passion must be pretty slim...unfortunately

― Arantxa, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i don't think i would want to fuck someone just cos they had a certain book or film or album. its what they think about particular books/films/albums that would win points with me. and of course a high level of boygirl/girlboy-ness. AND NO PRETENTIOUSNESS!

― di, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

although that said i would force a video marathon complete with chipsndip on anyone who owned the following videos: Jem, The Prisoner, Sapphire and Steel, Blakes 7, The Man From U.N.C.L.E (or for that matter ANYTHING starring David McCallum) yes i would indeed!

― di, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Katie G, I have all that VW. Who doesn't?

― the pinefox, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My answer today / READING 1922 (Oxford UP, 1999)

― the pinefox, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

so far pinefox, you and anthony and a few blokes i knew at College are the ONLY men i know (to my knowledge) who own any Virginia Woolf.

― katie, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ha I do too but THAT'S ABOUT IT as far as women go. awful of me.

― Josh, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

josh to you i say ANGELA CARTER!

― katie, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

katie the problem is not that I never like books by women, it's that I am a canon whore most of all when it comes to books. but who the hell is she, pls

― Josh, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 58 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

philip k dick, hunter s thompson, simon reynolds, milan kundera, etc

on the other hand,

I don't think a person's literary taste (or lack thereof) would sway me one way or another in terms of being interested in someone. I don't think I'm exactly hoping for someone with whom I agree on everything, or even anything.

Aw c'mon, you're saying that if you encountered somebody with an extensive collection of Dan Brown books, the entire Left Behind series, Ann Coulter/random rightwing screeds, etc, that it wouldn't affect your opinion of the person in any way?

― kingfish cyclopean ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 15:34 (nineteen years ago)

I think I might flee right away if I saw a copy of The Bridges of Madison County...

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 15:50 (nineteen years ago)

turn-ons: histories of interesting things and events, design/architecture porn, city stuff, music and movie books that aren't played out, trashy celebrity/industry tell-alls, good challenging fiction

turn-offs: the fantasy genre

― Jonas Bronck (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

The curious often gape upon spying the two groaning shelves of Henry James books in my living room.

I don't know if it qualifies as a turn-on exactly, but this would definitely make me want to force someone into a detailed, hours-long conversation.

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

The top turn-ons this summer according to the research are: Classics

I am sceptical. If classics make for such a turn on, then my classics-laden bookshelves should be winning me oodles of casual sex, but, alas...

― Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 17:14 (nineteen years ago)

eh, they turned away most of my classics when i tried to sell them at the strand.

― Jonas Bronck (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 17:16 (nineteen years ago)

The curious often gape upon spying the two groaning shelves of Henry James books in my living room.

Provided it was a writer in whom I had any interest, if someone had the totality of that writer's oeuvre or even something reasonably close, I would be intrigued, like horseshoe.

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 17:25 (nineteen years ago)

Once there was a cute boy sitting in the row opposite me on a plane, and I spent half an hour straining to see what book he was reading before seeing it was Angels and Demons by Dan Brown and being immediately turned off.

Since when does Classics = 19th C literature? I would be more turned on by someone reading Petronius than Emily Bronte.

― Cathy (Cathy), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

CATHY R U IMPLYING THAT DANG BROWNE IS NOT A CLASSICK AUTHORR?

― Jonas Bronck (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 17:35 (nineteen years ago)

I am very content that this is an Archel thread.

The answer, of course, is any book that I would want to steal.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

good challenging fiction

is challenging the new interesting?

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 17:39 (nineteen years ago)

And yet, for all that... not a solitary soul has thrown herself faintingly into my arms and said, "Ravish me, you classical brute!"

― Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 17:42 (nineteen years ago)

I would be very happy to find The Circus of Dr. Lao, by Charles G. Finney, in a young lady's collection. Or one or more of the Moomin books. Someone with only Moominland Midwinter would intrigue me.

― clotpoll (Clotpoll), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 18:24 (nineteen years ago)

Let's turn this around, too. What books would cause you to reject the person as straight toxic and then leave the premises as soon as decorum allowed?

― kingfish cyclopean ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 18:32 (nineteen years ago)

The only Moomin book I have is Moominland Midwinter.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 18:43 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, and as far as Kingfish's question goes, the only time I've ever gotten that feeling was from someone who, eerily, had NO books in his house at all.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 18:46 (nineteen years ago)

It would depend, Kingfish, on why they had the book, to me. I'm not going to run screaming out of someone's place if they have Dan Brown or the Book of Mormon on their shelves. I mean, if someone's got The Bridges of Madison County somewhere and also has The Ditches of Edison County, some slack may be cut.

People with no books - that is the strangest thing.

xpost

― Jaq (Jaq), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 18:50 (nineteen years ago)

Well then, I suppose I am intrigued.

― clotpoll (Clotpoll), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

early bloom county would do it for me.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, and as far as Kingfish's question goes, the only time I've ever gotten that feeling was from someone who, eerily, had NO books in his house at all.

Yeah, I dumped my last BF after going round his house and discovering that he owned 5 books - 2 of which were Dan Brown and 2 of which were John Grisham.

The only other warning sign for me would be someone who had *no* novels. I mean, I concentrate pretty heavily on popular science books myself at the moment, so that would turn me on - but if there were no novels at all, I would just think "this person isn't very interested in people".

― I'm On The Radio So I Don't Care!!!1! (kate), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

Barry Lopez

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 19:32 (nineteen years ago)

Petronius, Ovid, Catullus, Aristophanes, Homer, Xenophon, Theophrastus, Arrian, Herodotus, Apollonius of Rhodes, Propertius, Callimachus, Sappho, Boethius, Cassius Dio, Polybius, et. al. ad infinitum. Classics? You names 'em and I gots 'em.
And yet, for all that... not a solitary soul has thrown herself faintingly into my arms and said, "Ravish me, you classical brute!"

Oh you need Archilochos for that.

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 19:45 (nineteen years ago)

Archilochos

I suppose my copy of the Guy Davenport translation of Archilochos rules me out as instantaneous sex-beast material. Not strict enough.

― Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 20:43 (nineteen years ago)

re amount of books visible to visitors -- i've still got a shit-ton of books, but i've sold off about half my collection and most of the rest is in storage. decluttering feels good! feng shui and all that.

― Jonas Bronck (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:01 (nineteen years ago)

Hot librarians.

― IPSISSIMUS (Uri Frendimein), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:09 (nineteen years ago)

I don't know how The Fermata by Nicholson Baker has failed to find its way onto this thread. That'd be my answer, I think.

― JimD (JimD), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:20 (nineteen years ago)

I feel that there is something very different about the books that would 'turn me on' and the books read by people who I would have a relationship with. For example, Ovid or Perec would probably be literary turn-ons for me, but none of my boyfriends have been particularly into people like that, in fact they tend to be your basic Vonnegut & Hunter S. types.

I am currently going out with a philosophy graduate, mind you, so I can happily say these things are sufficient but not necessary. w00t.

― emil.y (emil.y), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:02 (nineteen years ago)

The Bill James Historical Baseball Abstract

― milo z (mlp), Thursday, 3 August 2006 02:54 (nineteen years ago)

http://myspace-347.vo.llnwd.net/00498/74/35/498885347_l.jpg

"Put 'em on the glasses."

― kingfish cyclopean ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 3 August 2006 03:10 (nineteen years ago)

I think I would appreciate someone who collected rare books or had first editions or maybe just stylish bookshelves. If those bookshelves were filled with Moomin books or obscure travel writing, then so much the better. They would also need to love Mozart and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 3 August 2006 08:23 (nineteen years ago)

I only own about a dozen books, and one of those is a dictionary. I only tend to keep books that I both love and don't feel that I've got the most out of yet, so if my bf-ness was being estimated based upon my shelf size, I would be found wanting.

I have been turned off cute girls by them reading a) Harry Potter b) Dan Brown c) self-help books. Saying that, I have a reasonable crush on a girl at work who buys at least 2 self-help books a week from Amazon, so what do I know.

Hot librarians.

OTFM

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Thursday, 3 August 2006 08:47 (nineteen years ago)

I hope I am a hot librarian. I don't feel like one at the moment though.

The original thread that inspired this one:
Literary turnoffs

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 3 August 2006 08:49 (nineteen years ago)

It's funny how polarised the opinion of Dan Brown's books are. Maybe hot boys and girls use them as a defence mechanism if they see an ILX geek ready to hit on them.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 3 August 2006 09:16 (nineteen years ago)

C++ from the beginning

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 August 2006 09:28 (nineteen years ago)

xpost on any book I'd like to steal/borrow.

Any Borges would immediately cause me to become even more of a gibbering fool than I am already.

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Thursday, 3 August 2006 10:38 (nineteen years ago)

If the turnonable is a boy:
How To Fix A VW
Nancy Drew

If the turnonable is a girl:
How To Fix A VW
Hardy Boys

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Thursday, 3 August 2006 11:05 (nineteen years ago)

I suppose it's best if they have that hard-to-find book you've been meaning to read for ages, but don't have in your collection. Instant turn-on/thing to talk about/reason to meet up again (if the person is willing to let you borrow it), and if he/she turns out to be a complete shit at least you get to read a good book.

I'm trying to think of what that book would be. Maybe one of those books of Barnaby reprints.

― clotpoll (Clotpoll), Thursday, 3 August 2006 19:50 (nineteen years ago)

why do I hang on to so many books, I wonder... I doubt my wife was attracted to me because of my complete collection of Mahfouz or Calvino, and I likewise have little to no interest in her complete collection of Anne McCaffrey... PKD turned out to be the well-loved middle-ground (well, and Pohl and some other sci-fi stuff)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 3 August 2006 22:21 (nineteen years ago)

And yet, for all that... not a solitary soul has thrown herself faintingly into my arms and said, "Ravish me, you classical brute!"

There was this guy I wanted to do that to after hearing him read Latin poetry like poetry, but he had a lovely wonderful girlfriend. They've since broken up, but he's in England now, studying more ancient Greek, and I haven't seen him in over a year. *wistful sigh*

If I met someone who could rave at length with me about how great Moby Dick was, that would be a million points in their favor. We could read it to each other over and over!

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 3 August 2006 22:52 (nineteen years ago)

If you're a young man who posts to ILB, it's quite likely I've had some sort of little crush on you at some point.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 4 August 2006 07:13 (nineteen years ago)

any of the following would be turnons:

more than one biography of a u.s. president
old, well-read, obviously loved peanuts paperbacks
any book by philip roth written in the last 10 years
taschen art books
moby-dick (i'm with maria)

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 4 August 2006 07:36 (nineteen years ago)

old, well-read, obviously loved peanuts paperbacks

good choice.

― rudy huxtable can't fail (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 4 August 2006 07:37 (nineteen years ago)

What, my collection of Fantagraphics reprints isn't a turn-on? I mean, I also have a few old, well-read ones books...

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 4 August 2006 18:34 (nineteen years ago)

robert caro!

― bell labs (bell_labs), Friday, 4 August 2006 18:45 (nineteen years ago)

do old hardcover Doonesbury tomes work?

― milo z (mlp), Friday, 4 August 2006 18:53 (nineteen years ago)

the fantagraphics peanuts collections are beautiful, but there's just something happy-making about those "old, well-read, obviously loved" ones.

― rudy huxtable can't fail (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 4 August 2006 18:57 (nineteen years ago)

I have two pocket-sized Peanuts paperbacks from the 70s ("Think About It Tomorrow, Snoopy" is one, I can't remember the title of the others). They have crappy flip-book animation/drawings in the lower right-hand corners that I must've made when I was 9 or 10... do those count?

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 4 August 2006 19:10 (nineteen years ago)

To Serve Man

― oops (Oops), Friday, 4 August 2006 19:52 (nineteen years ago)

JD! I see potential.

― Maria (Maria), Saturday, 5 August 2006 04:50 (nineteen years ago)

hmmm. what's your favorite chapter of MD?

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 5 August 2006 06:52 (nineteen years ago)

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