Help me find the best bad performance ever!

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Contenders:

Alicia Silverstone, The Crush
John Malkovich, Rounders
Tim Roth Liar/Deceiver

What's that movie where Ray Liotta goes nuts and hijacks a plane? I haven't seen it, but Chuck Tatum showed me a clip that looked awesomely bad.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 January 2004 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Search: any movie where Sean Connery attempts an accent other than his own.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 29 January 2004 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

As much as I love her as a director, Sophia Coppola's performance in Godfather III is pretty darn awful.

Then of course there is Madonna in Swept Away.

― BabyBuddha (BabyBuddha), Thursday, 29 January 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I always think of Keanu Reeves in "Speed". Someone tried to convince me once that he was a good actor & i nearly pissed myself...

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Thursday, 29 January 2004 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Search: any movie where Sean Connery attempts an accent other than his own.
-- Kenan Hebert (edito...), January 29th, 2004.

I just saw an old b&w Macbeth with Sean Connery on CBC. It was awesomely stinky. Scottish accent, though.

That Liotta movie is "Turbulence".

Adam Scott (who played David's love interest in 6 Feet Under) must be seen to be believed in Torque.

I can't wait for Rufus Wainwright's debut in The Aviator.

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Thursday, 29 January 2004 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Walken, in McBain ||| Classic Film or Superhuman Achievement?

― dean! (deangulberry), Thursday, 29 January 2004 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"Then of course there is Madonna in Swept Away"

I caught the last 15 minutes of this on cable a while ago. It was jaw-droppingly embarrassing for all of those involved. Nothing I read before hand quite prepared me for it. Madonna's intellgience as an entertainer will always be questioned because of her misguided attempts towards becoming an actress.

― theodore fogelsanger, Thursday, 29 January 2004 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I vote for Edith Massey in anything she's done.

(Remember, the thread is for best bad performance, not worst bad performance.)

― Ernest P. (ernestp), Thursday, 29 January 2004 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Check out John Savage in the little-seen straight to video Roger Corman vampire flick "Club Vampire", in which he actually raps.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 29 January 2004 23:25 (twenty-two years ago)

How is Warren Beatty's flow in Bulworth?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 January 2004 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Elizabeth Berkeley in Showgirls.

― Sean (Sean), Friday, 30 January 2004 01:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Edith Massey is a good call.

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Friday, 30 January 2004 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

how about either leo kirkpatrick or the kid who played casper in "kids"?

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Friday, 30 January 2004 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.sonypictures.com/classics/henryfool/commonpics/splash.jpg

The guy on the left.

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Them's fightin' words!

That's Henry Fool you fool! One of the best films of the 90's, and Hal Hartley's best!

― BabyBuddha (BabyBuddha), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes of course, but the guy playing Henry is a bit, er, Oliver Reed for my tastes.

...Oh yeah, Oliver Reed!

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Saturday, 31 January 2004 01:27 (twenty-two years ago)

And this person is starting to irritate me muchly:

http://img.stopklatka.pl/filmowcy/01300/01370/0.jpg

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Saturday, 31 January 2004 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I have your answer!!!

Jon Voight in ANACONDA.

― PVC (peeveecee), Thursday, 5 February 2004 23:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Score.

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Friday, 6 February 2004 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

How about Jon Voight in everything since "Midnight Cowboy?"

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Friday, 6 February 2004 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

And this one might start a fight--John Travolta in "Pulp Fiction"

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Friday, 6 February 2004 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

The worst peformance ever is a real doozy; Neil Diamond in a late 1970's remake of "The Jazz Singer". This jerk cannot act, cannot even pose convincingly, makes the detestable Al Jolson seem like a fucking genius in comparison. If you can bear to watch this piece of celluloid shit, you'll know why Neil Diamond was never again asked to make another screen appearance anywhere, ever. Increasing the pain value is the fact that the worst "actor" in cinematic history is paired up with the world's allegedly greatest actor, Sir Laurence Olivier, playing the estranged father - a rabbi or cantor or whatever the hell he was supposed to be. Olivier seems drunk, every forced cliched "Jewish" mannerism screams "where the hell is my check? Can I have it now?!" In fact, this performance probably rates as the most mind-boggling cinematic Hebrew stereotype since "The Eternal Jew" lit up Nazi screens. I'm sure that this wasn't Olivier's intention, of course, but his indifference, if not outright contempt for the film and his fellow actors, is a thing to behold.

If you don't believe me, well, then try to see this thing. I dare you to.

― HWQ, Friday, 9 April 2004 06:22 (twenty-two years ago)

The worst performance is Elizabeth Berkley in "Showgirls" although everyone who took part in "Bram Stoker's Dracula" comes close.

― CRW (CRW), Friday, 9 April 2004 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

The list of musicians attempting to act in movies is long and hilarious (has there been a thread on this somewhere already?). Here's some of the better performances I can think of that haven't been mentioned already :

Tricky in The Fifth Element
Bob Dylan in Hearts Of Fire / anything
Mick Jagger in the unused footage from Fitzcarraldo shown in Burden Of Dreams (making of Fitzcarraldo doc). He was no worse than Emilio Estevez in Freejack though.
anyone seen that Mariah Carey film?
Sting in Quadrophenia

― udu wudu (udu wudu), Friday, 9 April 2004 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"If you can bear to watch this piece of celluloid shit, you'll know why Neil Diamond was never again asked to make another screen appearance anywhere, ever."

The Neil Diamond Behind the Music had brief footage from the singer's screen test as Lenny Bruce (a role that eventually went to Dustin Hoffman) for Bob Fosse's bio-pic "Lenny." He didn't seem too bad, though I'm quite content with Fosse's not having cast him. Haven't seen the Jazz singer though.

― theodore fogelsanger, Friday, 9 April 2004 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

anyone seen that Mariah Carey film?
yes

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 9 April 2004 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I forgot about Paul Simon in "One Trick Pony". He attempts to deliver what I guess he thought was a pathos-ridden performance, but rather than coming across as 'sensitive' he instead seems smarmy and constipated. I surmise that he figured if Art Garfunkel could achieve some minor acclaim in Hollywood (Garfunkel is/was a pretty good actor, surprisingly), then the great Paul Simon would invariably do it better. He doesn't.

"One Trick Pony" also has a cameo by the even worse "actor" Lou Reed as an asshole record producer. That must have been a stretch for Lou. The strange thing here is that Lou seems to be on heavy downers in this film. What happened to the methamphetamine?

― univeria zekt, Friday, 9 April 2004 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

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